Friday, May 07, 2010

Your old grandpa...

Grandpa was really fond of saying, "Your old grandpa's really proud of you." He wasn't the kind of guy to, like, jump up and down and squeal and hug us when we accomplished something, but he would pat us on the arm and say, "Your old grandpa's really proud of you."

(Well, he usually hugged us, too.)

I've (obviously) thought about him nearly constantly since he died, but it's been really hard these last few weeks because I know that he would have been thrilled that I'm graduating, and he would have loved participating in all this stuff.

(Senior honors convocation on Monday? We would have had to pick him up several hours early.)

This has been kind of an emotional week, though, and I've really missed him.

On Wednesday we found out my mom was okay, again. And no matter how many times we go through that, it doesn't get any easier. It was never easy for him, either, and that, at least, I am thankful that he doesn't have to suffer anymore.

Yesterday afternoon we found out that my sister won an essay contest- one of only three students from the entire University of Wisconsin system. I, of course, jumped up and down and squealed and hugged her because while the OCD may be genetic, the reserve is not. (See: My entire internet career.)

And then I thought about Grandpa. He, more than almost anyone in the world, would understand what this award meant to her. How she has managed to handle herself with grace and dignity and maintain unbelievable academic standards that are higher than my own often while going through absolute hell I definitely don't understand, but I think he could. And he would have been thrilled.

Today I received the graduating major award in Jewish Studies. He would have a.) found that hilarious, and b.) been thrilled. The ceremony was great- my favorite professors were all there and one said things that made me cry and one made me cry because he's not going to be my professor anymore and seriously, my grandpa's gone and I know it's been like eighteen months but I DON'T CARE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THIS CERTIFICATE.


But you know what? His doctor was there.

I know. It seems dumb. But Grandpa loved doctors. More than most people love their children. He especially loved this one doctor.

I know, dumb, right? But the fact that his guy just happens to be on the board and I never knew it because he uses a nickname and he was there and he hugged me and congratulated me? Well, the omg-really-you-liked-my-Zionism-paper-that-I-thought-was-crap? tears? Met their match.

So thanks, Grandpa.

1 comment:

rockford said...

He was there today...I just know it...and he is so proud of you as you graduate and move on in your academic career (that MA thing, he would be all over that, too!!!!) - I can almost hear him saying "Yeah, she's a smart little gal..." and he is proud of Colleen for all that she accomplishes - her academics and her writing - and all that she ... See Moreovercomes to make her dreams a reality... and of "the little guy - oh, I better stop calling him that now..." for his academics and for his rock-starexperiences - and just imagine how much fun he would have with the shades....I miss him so much every day but when times like this come around, it just gets that much harder...I just want him sitting there with us...but he sent "Doc Tuchman" instead...yeah, that was really nice...and comforting...Thanks, Grandpa...