Wednesday, September 26, 2007

(I knew I forgot something.)

Today's icons all brought to you by Autumn, who has finally deigned to arrive here in Wisconsin, chasing the evil 86 degrees yesterday somewhere East where it cannot touch me.


I have exactly two things on my mind today, and thus you will subjected to two completely separate but equal sections (can you guess where I'm going with the one of them?).

Section #1- The Myth of Higher Education. Or, How Ancient Egyptian Civilization and Physiological Psychology will be the Death of Me.

I. Am going. To fail.


Tomorrow morning, I have an exam on six classes worth of stuff I can't pronounce or understand- and it's all essay. Grrr.

Do you know the cultural significance of Deir al-Medina? Karnak? Amarna?

Yeah. I don't either.

Then on Monday is apparently the worst test I'll ever take EVER OMG, at least according to the pick a prof reviews and the TA, who himself is scared shitless by the professor. *waves goodbye to 4.0*

You know the problem with getting a 4.0? You feel all happy and fulfilled over the summer, but then fall comes and anything less than an A looks like failure.

I suck.

I did totally kick my oceanography midterm's ASS today, though, y'all.

And, dude, the TA for that class is ridiculously hot. Why don't we have a discussion???

Section #2- Whose Brilliant Idea Was it to Have Premiere Week During Midterms??? Or, Why Ancient Egyptian Civ and Physiological Psychology Will be the Death of Me.

Because when you have all of your old favorites and as well as some genuinely good new shows (Chuck! Cane! Back to You!), figuring out what's so damn important about Lahun and Kahun (I know one's a pyramid and one's a village, but damned if I know which is which!!!) looks like so little fun.

Already wrote about HIMYM on my other blog (Welcome back, baby!!! Mommy missed you!!!). Monday night also included The Big Bang Theory (Um, not sure yet. It could get better I guess.), Two and a Half Men (so funny), and part of CSI: Miami (H has a son? God, that must have been an awkward, over dramatic conception.)

Chuck was my favorite though. I've been hoping it would live up to the advertising that NBC has been running since, ooh, 1998, and I think it did. Genuinely funny and lovable characters, good writing, and interesting plot. I'm definitely watching again. Although that's not saying much. Because I watch everything. *waves Studio 60 fan flag in the air*

Last night was Bones (Everyone's hair changed. And I'm not sure I'm amused. But Zack came back from Iraq!!! Sorry, that was a lot of unintentional rhyming.), House (I kind of miss the team, although not as much as I thought I would. Mostly I just don't want new people coming on to MY SHOW. *ahem*), Boston Legal (OMG YAY I MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH WHAT LIKE ONLY HALF OF YOU WERE THERE WHY IS SHIRLEY SLEEPING WITH THE NEW GUY EWW GROSS. *ahem* Also, why would you want Alan Shore to be the father of your baby? He'd be like the worst father ever. EVER.), and Cane (Pretty good. I was born far too late for Dynasty or Dallas or some other D show with lots of whores and money, so this could work for me.)

Tonight: We are (over) packed with Back to You, Criminal Minds (NO MANDY DON'T GO!!!), Private Practice, and CSI:NY (Yes. Yes. YES.)

So obviously the Lahun/Kahun difference will have to go down as one of life's unanswered mysteries. :-)

At least I can wear my sweatshirt.

Monday, September 24, 2007

All Hail the triumphant return of TV Watch.

Due to the seizure-inducing happiness of HIMYM, I give you, a new post.

Yes. I realize it's been a year. I'm sorry.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Because we have the emotional maturity of 12-year-olds.

The Boy is writing a lab report (undertaken with the amount of seriousness ususally reserved for major scientific and political innovations or the threat of nuclear war) about how periods (the time it takes for a rope to swing) are lengthened or shortened.

And Colleen and I cannot control our inappropriate laughter.

She had to leave the room.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Day 7 of the Cold that Won't Quit: I want to die. Preferrably before my psych discussion on Friday.

*long, drawn out gurgling/groaning noise*

I. Don't. Feel. Good.

(So not good that I'm not even going to correct the flagrant violation of my personal cardinal rule of grammar committed in the sentence above.

I've been on a rigorous four-hour cycle of DayQuil today, which allowed me to actually drag my poor soppy body to Egyptian civ this morning, because OMG MAJOR TEST COMING SOON YOU'D BETTER DROP THE CLASS OR ELSE!!! or something, and I felt scared shitless compelled to go.

Then I came home and watched Boston Legal. And now the sheer effort of typing is exhausting me and causing my mucous membranes to stage a revolution.

The Grand Duchess is not amusing.

Le anyhoodles, the second half of my title falls under the List of Things That I Never Ever Want to Do Ever In Life EVER DID YOU HEAR ME???

This list was previously topped by things like eat spinach (age five), wear pink (age eleven), assorted lesser treasons (post-9/11, age fourteen), speak in public (age sixteen-present), become a journalist (age nineteen), and marry anyone other than Josh Groban (age twenty).

(Yes. It is a strange list.)

(Could I use a few more parentheses?)


(Back to our post...)

However, my desire to offer myself sacrificial-virgin-like at the alter of Groban took a step down today when I got an e-mail from my psych TA with our weekly discussion assignment.

About Freud.

And his freaky sex stuff.

(Yes, I know it has another name. But it is freaky sex stuff.)

Yep, children, I am going to have to turn in a paper on and discuss psychosexual development- in class, with my peers, and one guy I think is kind of hot.

I am not a prude. At all. I think we established that with the sacrificial virgin comment above. But this is just disgusting. For instance, which aspect should I focus my analysis on?

1.) The concept that all women are deeply masochistic, due to childbirth, and therefore we all have rape/abuse fantasies. (Although this would explain the romance section at work. Who knew so many women wanted to have sex with vampires? I sure didn't...)

2.) The phallic stage. (I'm sorry. I am not saying the word "phallic" in public. Ever.)

3.) Little boys want their moms, but worry their dads are going to get mad that they want their moms and cut off areas. (Typing's easier than speaking...)

4.) Little girls want their dads, and emulate their moms in an effort to get him. (Oh God no.)

5.) All women want male reproductive organs. (Um...oookay....)

And I'm all for a mature discussion of the theories surrounding sexual development in adolescents in the academic setting. I mean, there's not a chance in hell I'd participate in it, but still. Except that Freud is almost universally accepted as a CROCK OF SHIT. So there is no reason for this damn assignment.


There aren't enough participation points in the world.

I'm going to go watch The Office and then see if I feel well enough to brave four lectures in a row on a nasty-ass bus with other people's germs eww all over.
Good night.

Monday, September 17, 2007

English teachers of the world: "many" and "varied" mean two different things, morons.

First, a little digression. They're replaying the finale of How I Met Your Mother (NEXT MONDAY OMG) and omg how sweet!!! I flippin' love this show.

I apologize for the lack fo updates lately, as I have been feeling very much of the suck, except for about four hours on Saturday night during my birthday party. (Lots of food, booze, and presents---whee!!!)

Other than that, I've been waking up dizzy, hot, achy, and unable to breath through my blocked sinuses.

So for a week I've been swirling a Benadryl in DayQuil and downing it with a fexofenadine chaser, and that's worked pretty well if repeated every four hours. But it's clearly not actually making me any better, because it's been a freaking week and today was so bad I came home from school, fell asleep, got up half an hour ago to eat pizza that I couldn't taste, and right now I'm thinking that some NyQuil and a ten hour night would be AWESOME. *le sigh*

Okay. I'm definitely going to bed at nine.

I was listening to the radio the other morning, and I heard this, quite possibly the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. My favorite? The West Allis Barbie, with optional GED and bus pass...

I'm going to go drink a bottle of NyQuil. See you tomorrow.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

In which I have two irrational outbursts and discuss the pitifully overlooked film "Snowcake"

Irrational Outburst #1: I effing hate the Milwaukee County transit system. So. Hard.

First, there was apparently a massive population surge circa 1988 and now there are entirely too many college students riding MY bus this year, forcing me to *gasp* stand for the majority of my commute. And in case anyone reading this has never been shoved between sixteen people, trying desperately not to brush into areas, lest one be labeled overeager/whorish/a lesbian when one occasionally falls off of one's four-inch platforms as the bus travels at alarming speeds down the the freeway, oh, and trying not to sneeze or breath because other people are sneezing and breathing one's own diseased air, I don't recommend it.

At all.

Also, without the helping hand of the MCTS, I wouldn't have stood outside for twenty five minutes this morning waiting for a bus that didn't come, finally giving up and driving down to campus, parking in some level that may or may not have been into the mantle of the Earth, paying two dollars and hoofing it to the building far far away where my lecture was half over, only to realize that I could have stayed home and watched the movie Thirteen Days and received the same information.

Yep. Being picked up on time, dropped off in front of my building all for free wouldn't have been nearly as much fun.

*le frustrated sigh*

Irrational Outburst #2: I am over the whole Boy Being in School thing. Not that I'm not pleased that he is having a good time and all that, but he has homework. That he feels the need to do in common areas of the house, thus preventing me from watching The View (my VCR is rather territorial and refuses to play anything that was not recorded on it...thus negating my ability to watch it upstairs). Also, it is math homework.

You know, the "Sally and Jessie and Raphael each have two red socks, and Sally has a black sock, but Raphael is two years older and Jessie has two oranges, so how long would it take them before they get to the museum if Sally's mom drives at 35 mph and there's a train coming from San Antonia at 250 mph?" sort.

Also leading to endless hours of conversations like the following-

Boy: Wouldn't six hours be $240?

Mother: No. Think about it.

Boy: I am, and with the sixty dollars and hour plus the fee...

Mother: Just for the first two hours. After that you take x, divide by y, and multiply by z.

Boy: Of course, but then you have to factor in density, as well as the laws of probability, and that would be $240!

Morena: *ears bleed*

My birthday was on Tuesday, and it was lovely and I was showered with gifts that I have yet to find a place for, and then was treated to takeout and a few North and South episodes (not the Patrick Swayze version). Yayness.

But perhaps more importantly, Snowcake was released on DVD. And for those of us in the United States where they deigned not the FREAKING SHOW IT IN THEATERS, it was the first time watching it.

It was really good, kind of sad, but ultimately uplifting. I loved the part at the end because Carrie Ann Moss's (who I never really liked before) face was priceless, like "I can't believe I'm doing this..."

Also? Grieving ex-con is a very good look of Alan dear.

I have no links, but a few Lolcats for you---

One that rang particularly true given our current computer situation. As of last night that was resolved finally, though, much to the rejoicing of the villagers my family.

I agree, Lolcat, I agree.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me...

I don't get somber on this blog very much; in fact, I can only remember doing it one time before, when I finished high school. Generally I'm a pretty upbeat person- at least when I'm not whining about customers or the eighteen freaking tests I have to take this freaking semester. Except then.

But I'm feeling somber now. One of my best friends left today. We were very close, and while it's totally different than my friendships with people I've known my entire life like Mary, I loved her and her friendship just as much.

I was fifteen years old when I met her. We went though high school, "graduation", jobs, the first part of college, falling in love, my mom's illness, and her engagement together. I was going to be her maid of honor. The day my mom found out she had cancer again, she was the only friend I wanted to see- I knew she'd be supportive and understanding.

I'll be twenty years old tomorrow. She'll be starting boot camp and probably facing deployment to Iraq within eight months. Part of me is excited for her embarking on this new opportunity, but a huge part of me is scared out of my mind because she's decided to diffuse bombs during a war. I should be patriotic and support the troops. I just don't like it when I know a troop.

But more than being scared for her, most of all I'll really miss her.

{End Somber Part, Begin Normal Shallow Part}

So, I cleaned up today in terms of presents. Gift cards from Kate and Steve, and a fantastic books about my favorite Teacher-Lacking-Testicles. Complete with a hand-drawn illustration and note that makes it easily one of the best presents I've ever gotten, even if no one would understand it.


Slightly somber, but not as bad as war, the computer de famille is completely dead. Apparently you're supposed dust the venty thingies on the side? To prevent dust build-up? That will burn the mother board into oblivion? Causing it to die?

Who knew?

Okay, now I suppose it says something like that in the instruction manuel, but if something as simple as dust can cause MAJOR SHUTTING DOWN Y'ALL OMG, I think it should be in bold print. At least.

So it is back to Best Buy we go. They know us there now.

It is finally cold. And I can wear a sweatshirt. And Starbucks had pumpkin spice lattes. *sighs* All is right with the world.

Finally, the metric assload of LOLCats that I've accumulated over the past week---


I am in ur printer...

HAHA Scholarly cat!!! *ahem*


And, the funniest/cutest of them all.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

End of a Long-Ass Week.

It's kind of sucked. I realized that I had eighteen tests this semester, a bunch of other crap, had to work all freaking weekend, and Paul Joseph made me ring up his book twice (cheap bastard).

*le sigh*

I am tired. I am cranky. I have blisters all over my feet. And I am not into being sociable tonight. So perhaps I won't be.

It is my birthday on Tuesday, and I'm far more excited about the fact that I can sleep it than my actual birthday. So, so much more. Also, my dad said he'd make the little twisty cream cheese/olive thingies. I love the twisty cream cheese/olive thingies. More than I love the twisty cream cheese/summer sausage thingies.

Did see a couple of movies, though.

The Nanny Diaries was funny and stupid in a chick flick kind of way. Different from the book, which kind of upset me, because I am the book's biggest supporter, but still good.

Also saw 3:10 to Yuma on Friday, literally hours after it premeired, even suffering the old people who got in far cheaper than I did even if they couldn't appreciate the true beauty of the film. How awesome is my fandom???

I actually really loved it. Colleen disagrees, but I thought it was really interesting and fun and fast-paced, didn't feel like two hours. Highly recommend.

I'm going to go eat my weight in chili, mmkay??? I'll do a real update tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Things that going back to school have showed me.

1.) 6:00 a.m. is very, very early.

2.) 6:00 a.m. every day for fifteen weeks in a row? Seems even more early.

3.) Seriously. Effing early, man.

4.) I listen to way more music during the school year. I heard songs during my drive down yesterday morning that I haven't heard since May.

5.) [(Six classes x 3 to 4 exams each)+ papers+ reading+ other shit]= *head explodes*

6.) The east side is big, y'all. HUGE.

7.) Perhaps my life goal is to become a part time frozen yogurt chef and that doesn't require #5.

I guess Al Gore was right, because the entire city is going through a heat wave, and it won't be over for three days and I am not amused.

Because every single incoming freshman who has not yet stopped washing her hair/buying makeup/being able to eat everything that the cafeteria offers without gaining weight (give it two weeks, I tell you) takes this opportunity to wear tube tops and short shorts and I want to go die in a vat of ice cream.


Almost got a hot TA this year. Almost. It was close. Instead I ended up with the married guy with aggressive hair.

*bigger sigh*

Personality would have been so much more fun.

That's about all I've got for you today, as I have to go dry my hair, fold the laundry, dust the entire house and then go see The Nanny Diaries with Kate. Yay. I've been wanting to see that for ages, and nobody wanted to go with me.

Also need to to clear the movie-seeing decks for the double whammy of hotness coming to a cinema near you on Friday!!!

Monday, September 03, 2007

Why John Edward should be running for President instead of John Edwards.

Because he could look the country straight in the eye an tell us that Iraq is going swimmingly and we're all okay and gas prices are totally going down and thousands and thousands of overweight ethnic women will COMPLETELY BUY IT.

God. Crossing Over is my new favorite show.

He just told an Italian woman from New York that she had a large family and passed down kitchen appliances. And the woman was flabbergasted 'cuz OMG MY HUSBAND MUST HAVE TOLD HIM THAT!?!?!?!? God knows that there's no way he could tell that an Italian family would have a bunch of kids and maybe be frugal.


I love morons. They make such good TV.

(Oh great. Now they're crying. I love it when they cry.)

I have to be back in school in like sixteen hours, so I'm just going to do some links and then go wallow. (Oh, I'm kidding. I'm kind of happy.)

You need to find yourself a girl, mate.

I don't know where to look. It doesn't matter. It's all good.

Okay, whoever did the cover of this DVD set shaved about twenty lbs off of ALL of them. Bergan has a waist, y'all, and Spader hasn't looked like that since Secretary.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Yes, we have a weird relationship.

Morning, the living room.

Morena, Daughter Extraordinaire: What time is the Geek Squad coming tomorrow?

Mother of Morena: About one.

Morena, Daughter Extraordinaire: Oh. Oooh, maybe he'll be hot!!!

Mother of Morena: A hot geek! What a Labor day treat!!!

Morena, Daughter Extraordinaire: wtf???

End scene.

ETA: It is over between the maybe-hot Geek Squad guy and me, because they canceled our appointment and didn't let us know until today and now we won't have the real computer or the PRINTER (helpful when you're, you know, IN SCHOOL) until September 10th. Which means they can all use my thousand dollar investment for another week and a half. Oh joy.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Because there's no such thing as TMI...

What was the highlight of your week? It's a tie: 1.) When I realized Starbucks has their pumpkin spice lattes back (yay!) and 2.) When I saw he Noodles and Co. sign RIGHT!ON!MY!STREET! a

Who's car were you in last? My parents'.

Where did your last kiss take place? No comment.

What color shirt are you wearing? Black.

What was the last museum you went to? Milwaukee Art Museum

What color are your eyes? Blue

Who came over last? At home probably some relative, but two friends came by work today.

Who/what do you hate/dislike currently? Costco.

What are you listening to? That weird noise that happens when you're home alone. Like quiet, but not.

If you could have one thing right now what would it be? I should say something like world peace, but I really want a concrete mixer.

What is your favorite smell? Starbucks' pumpkin spice lattes.

What makes you the happiest? I'm gonna have to go with concrete mixers...;)

What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

Are you left-handed? No.

What's for dinner tonight? Probably lasagna prepared and frozen in case of Russian domination.

What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? I don't remember. Maybe bourbon?

When Is Your Birthday? 9/11

Who was the last person to send you a text message? Imladris, like six months ago.

When is the last time you were in a swimming pool? six years. The girl I can remember swimming with last just had a baby. That should tell you something.

Where was the last place you went shopping? Targe.t

How do you feel about your hair right now? I like it, but I wish the little layers around my face would curl instead of just hanging there.

Do you have any expensive jeawelery? Yes. But it's all inherited.


Where does most of your family live? With me. Makes Christmas easier.

Are you an only child or do you have siblings? Little brother, little sister.

Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? In that I have a home and food, yes. In that I have to hand over my paychecks to UWM, no.

What was the first thing you thought when you woke up? SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. Maybe if I quit I could sleep in.

Do you drink beer? No.

Myspace or Facebook? Facebook.

Do you have T-Mobile? This is a stupid question. No.

What is your favorite subject in school? History.

What type of boy/girl do you usually fall for? I'm a whore for an accent. Extra points if you're older than my parents.

Do you have any talents? I correct other people's grammar.

Have you ever been IN a wedding? Yes. To the undying jealously of my little sister.

Do you have any children? In my head I have a daughter named Tacy, but in order to take corporeal form she needs sperm. Which brings us back to the question two ones above!!!

Did you take a nap today? Not yet. I'm really tired, though.

Ever met someone famous? Bob from Sesame Street. That's it. Oh, and Screech comes in to work sometimes. His girlfriend looks like a tramp but tips well.

Do you want to be famous one day? I want to be Queen of England, baby. I shoot high.

Are you a badass named Justin? Yes. Yes I am.

Could you handle being in the military? God no. A friend of mine is getting her hair cut for the Navy on Thursday and I was so upset I came home and brushed *my* hair.

What is your average cell phone bill? No clue. It goes to another house.

Do you believe in karma? I believe in Catholic karma, which is your basic karma but delayed until you die.

Ever been to Las Vegas? I was a stripper there for three I haven't.

What are you doing today? Well, I worked until three, and now I'm going to do laundry and sort through my clothes.

Have you ever been gambling? I gamble every time I do my hair. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much.

When is the last time you updated your blog? Today

Have you been to New York City? Well, I was a stripper there for three, I haven't.

Ever been to Disneyland/world? Well, I was a stripper there for three years...yes, I actually have. I didn't strip, though.

Do you have a favorite cartoon character? Um. I'm not twelve.

Last thing you cooked? Brownies.

Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? That sounds really dirty.

Last time you were sick? About two months ago.

Tattoos? Icky.

Piercings? Icky. If it requires a needle, I don't have it. Including many vaccines.

Do you like guys? Yes?

Listening to? Que???