Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Um, yeah, it's *Halloween*.

Oh God it's been a long day.

My mom's mouth is no longer swollen but she is definitely high on Benadryl.

The Boy has strep throat.

Imladris wants to use his toothbrush to infect herself.

I would like a pitcher of wine. And some more Purel.

So I'm taking time out from spraying Lysol in the Boy's general direction (No time to get sick! Physiological psych test on Monday! Oh my God!) to update. Because it is Halloween and all is right with the world. (Well, except for the swelling strep throatedness.)

There was much internal freakage out this morning, which thankfully resolved itself before I had to do anything (how I like all my problems to be solved), and I took a test and got a 92, which is actually pretty good for not being at all prepared mentally or intellectually.

Then I decided that I was too mentally and emotionally drained to face art history and oceanography.

My internal coping system? "LalalalalaIcan'thearyougoinghomenowbye!!! *insert head in sand*"
Seriously. Wine. Now.
Once I got home and everyone was all passed out good, it was actually a pretty nice day.

It was supposed to be super busy- I was in class until two, pick up the Germ (the artist formerly known as The Boy) and The Apathetic One at 2:30, take Germ to the doctor at three forty, and somehow study for two tests, finish a paper, and do the laundry.

Also? I had Cane to watch from last night. That shit does not watch itself.

Le anyhoodles, Apathetic One decides at 7:05 this morning that she would drive herself and Germ to school. And the whole swelling thing? Meant I didn't have to squire Germ to the doctor. So I had a whole day and no obligations.

(Well, except when I drove Imladris up the road before she realized she didn't want to take pictures and was okay with failing instead. Who said homeschoolers were overachievers?)

And I totally did my paper and studied and cleaned. Not in any way did I waste time on Lolcats, watching funny Alan on YouTube (I don't understand a word he's saying but I'll be damned if I didn't watch it about 10 times!), extolling the good fortune that there was a Sweeney Todd insert in the UWM Post this week on a friend's Facebook wall, or editing my paper while watching Samantha Who? on


That would have been irresponsible.

Do you know what tomorrow is?

Yes. It's Thursday, and yes, it's All Saints Day, and I'm sure it's somebody's birthday, but that's not what I'm talking about.

It's November 1st, the beginning of NaBloPoMo. (If you need some explanation, it's National Blog Posting Month, when you do at least a blog post a day for a month.)

And no, I don't know why there's a "posting" in there, except to make the abbreviation way less dirty.

I'm too commitment phobic to actually join the thing, but I'm going to try to do it.

So be prepared. I may be forced to go all emo on your asses and post song lyrics in an effort to combat my sagging creativity.

Just so you know.

I'm going to go eat, but everybody watch Criminal Minds tonight!!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Post #500

That's right, blog kitties, you've listened to 500 of my pointless diatribes on important subjects such as my hair and Johnny Depp while going through two and a half years, through several concerts (Or not.), a couple of Pirates movies, the freaking plague, the lovely bubble period (Hi! You've reached the mental ward, where may I direct your call?), and too many changes in major to link to (Honestly. I don't even attach dates to major crises of faith anymore.). Oh, and that one time I went all Constitutional on The View's ass.

Yes. It has been an interesting ride.

All three of you who read it.

I feel as thought I should have something more important to say than my normal "*no creativity woe is me is dead* updates, but I'm afraid not. Ooh, two things.

1.) Alterra coffee is far, far better than Maxwell House. I make coffee every morning in my crappy fifteen-dollar coffee maker and it usually tastes like it. I assumed it was my woefully wanting coffee-making skills. But it's not. Because when you use the coffee from Alterra (stolen from Imladris whose friend gets some as perk- I worked for a coffee place for year and I never got anything is all I'm saying) it tastes amazing. And it makes my morning so much better. It is all I will drink now.

2.) I wrote a letter today. A real, pen-and-paper-no-computer-in-sight letter. Okay, there was a computer on the desk. But I wasn't using it, I swear! And it was really cool. I felt all Jane Austen-y, except not because I was wearing jeans and hurrying to go pick up my brother in a car and there's not a Mr. Darcy (hell, I'd take Bingley right about now) in sight, but still.

So if my friend's devastating foray into the military accomplishes nothing else, I've gotten to write some letters without Microsoft Word.

Oooh- I know what I wanted to talk about!!! The Nine!!! Please follow that link and buy it because it is a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!!

Admittedly, I'm kind of a constitutional law whore. I write "vs" as "v" in everyday life. I have a tendency to write the year in parentheses after a sentence (as in "Griswold v. Connecticut (1965) invented the legal precedent of privacy that would be used eight years later in Roe when the justices decided that the right to abortion fell under a penumbra of privacy.") I can quote major cases- Marbury v. Madison (Judicial review! Yay!) Dred Scott (Slavery! Boo!!!), Griswold v. Connecticut (Birth control. Umm...).

I am a dork.

But still, this is an amazingly good book. So good. Everyone should read. Now.

There aren't enough staff picks in the world.

Other people's lives today because I'm sick of my own...

Says the world, "Who the hell is Rumor Willis?" Thank you folks, I'll be here all week.

I don't know how I feel about this. Last week I wasn't so crazy about him. I'll have to see how I feel tonight.

*The Boy May Want To Skip This Item. Mmmkay, Peaches???*

Okay, I'm trying to come up with a good Madonna reference for this story, but I can't think of one. Oh, Brit. Why you gotta be like that? I'd like to say I'm morally outraged, and I guess I am in principle, but can we put this in perspective?

This is the girl who was parading around when she was a teenager in a Catholic school uniform (and not the frumpy ones we had to wear in the real world, either) wailing about "hit me baby one more time," which was at best promoting sexual themes and at worst violence against women (personally I think that's a stretch, but I've heard it several times). A couple of risque photos when she's already made out with chicks and shown us everything God gave her? I'm not really surprised.

And the pictures weren't that bad. The confessional one bothered me more, because to me that's more sacred than any priest or even the priesthood will ever be, but in the other one she's just being a whore. And we've all seen that before. Also? I'm pretty sure there aren't any priests that look like that. At least not that I've ever met.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Crazy Isn't New, But It Has Been Improved

So I just found out from my mother that not only was I crazy enough to bug the hell out of my immediate family ca. 1995, but my "issues" also made my second-grade teacher, who had been teaching for twenty years, change the way she did the stupid time tests.

Apparently, she always did them on Friday.

Enter seven-year-old me, who would make myself ill on Thursday.

So then the lovely woman, bless her soul, decided to do them randomly to cut down on the anticipation.

And I would make myself ill EVERY day.

You know the funny part? I'm the normal one in the family.

That's scary.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Mourning the loss of sexual favors in academia.

Driving my sister to work yesterday we started talking about professors, and how some are really good and some are really bad and some leave you two years later going, "Wait? Did I take that class? Really?" (Non-Western World Spring '05 at Concordia think his name started with an H...maybe?)

I'm not sure how we got on this, because most of the professors I was talking about are parents of her friends (Ozaukee is a cesspool. If you can get away with not marrying a cousin you're lucky.) and, well, ewww, but we started talking about how since the whole sexual harrassment thing in the 80s/90s, there is no possiblity of getting an A without doing A work. Colleen then added that I totally wouldn't have taken advantage of it, because that's just not the kind of person I am.

Except she's wrong.

Not in the fact that I am not a whore, but in the thought that I wouldn't do anything to protect my grades.

(I guess, in order to fully understand my neuroses, you may need some background. I'm crazy about tests and grades. Always have been, probably always will be. Second grade? Those stupid time tests with multiplication tables? They caused serious obsessing on my part. We're talking making-yourself-sick obsessing. I was seven. Freshman year of high school I figured out my GPA with every possible grade. Junior year I remember walking to a business law exam feeling like I was going to an execution. I couldn't open the ACT envelope because my hands were shaking so badly. Last year I braved a freaking blizzard with freezing rain to get to a history exam even though my TA said I didn't have to come, just so I wouldn't lose points. Again- crazy.)

Last spring, by some act of God (or perhaps the fact that I'm such a dork that the Hundred Years War actually makes sense to me), I got all A's. This was lovely and caused much rejoicing and self-assurance. Then it came time to go back to class.

And now I have 18 credits, six of which are, right now, in B+ territory.
Please, suspend the perfectly rational assumption that a B+ is a perfectly fine grade and I should stop being such a pretentious oaf for a moment and put yourself in my crazy-neurotic shoes.

A B+? Not an A. And if there was ANYTHING I could do to to assure that they would come out as A's at the end of the semester, I'd do it. And deal with eternal damnation later.

But, thanks to women's lib, I actually have to study.

*nostalgic sigh*

Well, I've officially embarrassed my parents for today. That's usually my sign to sign off.

ETA: Egypt went really well. With the exception of some stupid naming question that I'm pretty sure we didn't talk about in lecture *or* the book, and I forgot the Kingdom of Naqada in the list of kingdoms that were important to the unification (got This and Heirakonopolis, though- yay), I knew everything. I can calm down now. Yay.

See? Told you I was crazy.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Being witty is overrated.

I worked this weekend.

All weekend.

And let me tell you, seventeen hours of the crazy? By Sunday night I was ready to start throwing books at people who dared look me in the eye. And not fluffy stuff, either. I'm talking Mitchner.

Oh, where shall we begin? The THREE porn orders I had to do before ten o'clock on Saturday morning? (If you need gay porn- or indeed any porn- at nine thirty a.m., please have the decency to download it. I don't need to deal with you.)

Or reading the ENTIRE 34 track listing of some random Elvis CD to an old woman over the phone?

Or the person who told me they didnt' like the way we rearranged the store? (It's been the same since I started fifteen months ago.)

Or perhaps the woman who yelled at me because we didn't have a sufficient selection of bar mitzvah cards? (I'm sorry, my name is Kathleen and I have curly red hair. I don't feel your pain.)

I think the porn bugged the most. Definitely.

Then I got home, and Colleen had gone shopping. And I clearly wanted to go shopping too. So I took my trusty debit card (okay, it's real money, but you don't see it, so it feels better), and went to Kohls. Found some lovely tops, but can I comment for a moment on this fall's fashion only thing you can find trend, the baby doll/empire-waisted look?

First, I'm not complaining. Those of us who have huge boobs and no waist are more than happy to usher the Regency era back in and about time too!

However, it does have the tendency to make one look, just slightly, enceintes. Somewhere, there is a poor knocked up teenager who is SO THANKFUL that she chose this year to screw up, because her parents won't be able to tell until May.

Oh, and Dumbledore's gay and there's a new Sweeney Todd trailer that I can't find the link to. But it's good.

Oh Lord is it good.

About the Dumbledore thing, eh. I'm kind of pissed that she's changing things now, *months* after the final book came out and we've all had time to formulate opinions and feelings. But I am equally as happy that this happened after everyone has their book and don't feel the need to let me know how they feel while they're annoying the hell out of me at work.

Again, customer service is amazing, right?

I is planning revenge. Awww.

Egypt test tomorrow. I'd appreciate it if you all would offer sacrificial lambs, because I'm pretty sure praying's not enough. Instead of studying last night? I watched Secrets of Egypt's Lost Queen on the Discovery Channel. With who has to be the prettiest historian ever (My dad: "That's because you don't have your degree yet." Sure it is.) who has time to reapply lipstick while hunting for Hapshepshut. It's kind of the same thing.

Friday, October 19, 2007

The manger of Coffee Chain That Shall Remain Nameless is way too into me. Oh, and I bake a cake.

I realize that his interest may just be gratitude because I'm subsidizing his mortgage on my pumpkin spice latte expenditure, but I think he loves me.

I thought it was a little friendly when he told me his *entire* life story (no, really, I know his last three places of employment) when he started at this store, but I chalked it up to new guy wanting to know his customers. I thought it was slightly weird when he asked me how my day was and what else I had planned for the weekend, but hey, Starbucks Coffee Chain employees are friendly. I thought it was even weirder when he recognized me going into Noodles and said "hello", but whatever. They were right next door.

But stopping to chat when it's ten after seven in the morning and you have lines both inside and outside the store and I clearly was really, really just wanting my latte before a grueling and utterly worthless three discussions at some freakishly early hour of the morning at a campus an hour away and I'm already late thank you very much? That's way, way too friendly.

Maybe the guys at Alterra are more reserved. If I wanted human contact at seven in the morning, I'd be in a relationship thank you very much. *sniff*

Wait. Could he get me free caramel apple cider? Because there are *very* few things I wouldn't do for that.

I actually got to class, not late, and in plenty of time to draw a stupid action potential on the blackboard and commiserate with a friend about how terribly lost we feel about the whole brain chemistry thing (Did you know that Na+ influx and K+ eflux cause, respectively, depolarization and repolarization, and an excess of K+ flooding the cell causes hyperpolarization at the end of the action potential but after the absolute refractory period? Yeah, I didn't either.).

So much fun.

And then I realized that I was wearing loafers, pearls, full makeup at eight a.m., a pea coat, and a headband while carrying a latte and I almost annoyed myself with my preppy capitalism. Eh.

Le anyhoodles, the second part of the title refers to the amazingly good chocolate pumpkin bundt cake that I made today because I was bored and feeling wintery.

Well, I kind of made it. I didn't have a lot of the ingredients, so instead of whole wheat pastry flour, nonfat buttermilk, dark brown sugar, and pumpkin pie spice, I used regular cake flour (I honestly have no idea if this is the same thing, but it looked kind of close), skim milk, light brown sugar, and whatever spices I could find under the counter.

Most of this was laziness, because I really didn't want to go to the store, but I am religiously opposed to using anything labled "specific item" spice. No. No. You figure out what you want it to taste like, select the spices, and then double it. My mom told me this when I was just a wee lass (a whole...ten years ago...okay), and it's worked just fine. My pumpkin pies are renowned around...the dining room table by my drunk family members.

Okay. So maybe pumpkin pie spice wouldn't have been a bad call.

And it turned out okay, and of course I took pictures-

The glaze didn't really work because, again, too lazy to get buttermilk, but still.

I think I shall go eat some now.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

What sadist at blogger decided I needed a title every day???

I'd just like to let you all know that I form unnatural bond with the families that you know are going down during the first five miinutes of Criminal Minds. This ridiculously happy family is doing homework, practicing the piano, talking about having another baby (for no good reason other than to make you go, "Awww..."), and now they're being bludgeoned to death. And that makes me sad.

Yes. I suppose I could stop watching. But then CBS will have won.

Okay, look. I'd really, really love to write something creative and funny and interesting that would make people think that I'm at least slightly more than a sucking waste of oxygen on this planet, but I've got nothing.

Because it is the middle of October. And by the middle of October, unless you are a pillow, an exam review, or a rich guy looking for an heir (Who needs conversation or common interests? I like being by myself. You just shut up and put me in the will and we'll get along great, peaches.), I can't express how much I don't care.

(Yes. I turn into a slut in October.)

I know that shouldn't be, because I'm young and am supposed to be having fun and all that crap that they tell you right along with "High school's the greatest time of your life!" and "No, really, you're really pretty!"

But I'm really, really tired. And really, really sick of physiological psychology and Egyptian civilization.

Ooh, but I did update my other blog this afternoon. Totally *not* when I was supposed to be learning about plate tectonics in oceanography. That would have been irresponsible.

Love in the Time of Cholera trailer hits the web. I'm sorry, where the hell is Liev Schreiber??? Hey, I read the damn thing, and his character shows up an *awful* lot. He clearly needs to be in the freaking trailer. *grumble*

Jorja Fox on why she's leaving CSI. Okay. I'm torn between being all "I don't care why, as long as you're gone," and outraged that someone would voluntarily leave CSI. They could kill me and I'd still show up with donuts or something just to hang around the set. Of course, I'm sad, but still.

I'm off to make Pharaoh Flashcards. (Ha! That almost sounds fun!)

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Mostly pictures because my muse is hungover after feeling creative all weekend and not writing. *le sigh*

Note: It's Monday, the 15th. But I put the pictures up yesterday, and it takes forever to load pictures again. And I'm lazy. Really, really lazy.

I realized that we've gone a whole week and I haven't discussed our gay pride Halloween display featuring the lesbian scarecrows. Colleen insists that the one in green is a boy. With blush and hair and ribbons. Nope. They're both girl scarecrows.

Went to the art museum yesterday with Mom, Colleen, and Mary, and had seizure inducing amounts of fun (also, there was mexican food). And visited my painting. Not really my painting so much as I wrote a paper about it and got a very good grade and it now has a special place in my heart.

A few housekeeping notes before I go avoid writing the paper I had to go to the art museum for- I finally activated my Flickr account, and you can now see the five most recent pictures I uploaded on the sidebar (if you click on the thing on the bottom it'll take you to my page), just in case you aren't getting enough of my life... If you get a Flickr account (you already have one if you have a Yahoo ID, and it's totally easy and free if you don't) you can even comment!!! Yay!!!

Also updated my books list, mostly for Mary who came up with the ingenius idea this morning for me to write down what I'm reading ("Um...yeah...I've been doing that for months now...").

Finally, DUUUDE...Jane Austen fanvids??? My favorite is the Men of Jane Austen set to Xtina's Ain't No Other Man. I think I've watched it like six times.

I'm off to, well, I don't know really. I'll really update tomorrow. I have Golden Age obsessing to do!!!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Why I Need to Go To Grad School So I Don't Have to Deal With These People All Day Long For The Rest Of My Life (Capitalized For Emphasis. So There.)

Morena, Barista Extraordinaire: May I have a name for the order?

Crazy Guy: No.

Morena, Barista Extraordinaire: Umm. Okay.

Crazy Guy: I'm worried about Big Brother.

Morena, Barista Extraordinaire: *laughs nervously*

Crazy Guy: No, really.

Morena, Barista Extraordinaire: *is scared* Oh. That'll be $3.48.

Crazy Guy: *hands over credit card containing all his personal identity*

Morena, Barist Extraordinaire: *almost chokes on the irony*

Crazy Guy: You're mad at me aren't you? For not giving you my name?

Morena, Barista Perhaps-Not-So-Extraordinaire: No. I'm really not. I have other things to worry about. The name thing was not my idea, believe me. Here's your latte.

Crazy Guy: Oh. Okay.

Morena, Barista Perhaps-Not-So-Extraordinaire: *mentally purchases LSAT review book*

If you ever needed a reason to consider law school or make staring down a dissertation seem like a good time, try working part time against your will in a cafe.

Because, trust me, when all you really want to do is throw the hot chai that "oh I thought was iced!!!" at someone's face? Prostitution looks good. ANYTHING.

Monday, October 08, 2007

DVD Industry: 3; Morena: 1

Oh, victory is sweet.

The DVD debacle I wrote about earlier has been resolved.

Armed with my screwdriver and absolutely no money to purchase a replacement player, I attacked. And after disconnecting the power, the audio/video cables, and taking off the cover as well as the disc drive and then putting it all back together again, vindication was mine.

Also recovered Imladris' DVD, so she will not be forced to attack me my sleep.

I am awesome.

DVD Industry: 4; Morena: 0

So I'm off to replace my DVD player.


Because it has made a horrible noise like a dying baby and then eaten one of Colleen's Office DVDs.


And I am pissed.


(In case anyone is counting, this is my fourth DVD player since Christmas.)

Saturday, October 06, 2007

A Scene of Hysteria

Dank basement lecture hall.

Professor Who Hasn't Realized that Three Years of Failing Averages Maybe Is His Fault (heretofor known as Bastard) enters, carrying a large folder.

Morena: Are those the tests? Oh my gosh, I think those are the tests.

Mary: *looks* Oooh, I think they are. I need to know what I got.

Morena: *hyperventillates*

Bastard: So these are the graded tests...

Morena: *Givethembackgivethembackgivethembackgivethemback*

Bastard: ...I'm not going to give them back yet...

Morena: *kills Bastard in head*

Bastard: ...but I will put up the grades on the board without names so you can see how the class did.

Author's Note: How the hell would this accomplish anything? I don't give a flying rat's ass what anyone else got on the damn test. Just give me my own damn grade.

Morena: *looks at carnage on the overhead. The class average was a 55%, and only twenty people got above a C. That should give you some indication.* Oh my God I failed. I failed. So hard. No one will ever love me. I'll die alone.

Mary: So, do you want to share a box on the street? Because I don't think we'll be able to afford our own.

Morena: *more hyperventillating*

End Scene.

Just so you know, I didn't fail after all. I got a B+. So maybe I can get my own box.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The Major Issue of the Day

Not Iraq. Or health care. Or even No Child Left Behind.

No, today my issue lies with Lands End and their insipid long underwear ads. In their Winter catalogue (ours got here today, I know you're all waiting for yours), there's this cutesy little ad for long underwear of the fuzzy thermal variety, featuring a ridiculously wholesome couple sitting in the laundry room drinking coffee in said fuzzy, thermal long underwear.

I'm sorry, but perhaps you wouldn't have to shell out 30 bucks for a glorified t-shirt if you didn't sit around IN YOUR UNDERWEAR drinking coffee in the laundry room (que???).

If it is so damn cold, put on a freaking sweatshirt.

Ookay, Criminal Minds is doing a serial killer in Milwaukee. Comforting, given the influx of OMG STRANGER DANGER 'NOTHER ROBBERY ON CAMPUS THIS TIME HE HAD A KNIFE!!! e-mails I get hourly.


Dad:"There are no buildings like that in Milwaukee."

Me: "Really? Nowhere? In the entire city?"

Dad: "No."

Monday, October 01, 2007

I have no title, but I can tell you that the cerebellum, pons, and medulla compse the rhombencephalon, which is located ventral to the occiptal lobe.

Halfway through with the first wave of midterms in all six classes (yay!), and definitely did very well in oceanography (yay!), mostly likely rather well in physiological psychology (yay!), and had Egypt kick my ass (boo!). However, the only the easy ones are left.

Except I'm a little bit worried about art history because they give you approximately twenty minutes with the review sheet. I'm exaggerating, but five days is not a lot to learn all the art work from the dawn of time to ancient Greece (about eight thousand years). It will be fine though. According to Pick a (my favorite website- EVER), forty-nine percent of the class gets an A. I *know* I'm smarter than forty-nine percent of the morons in that class. Even just the three who sit in front of me, one has a picture of her making out with some guy as her background on her laptop, one hasn't learned to use deodorant yet, and one hasn't opened her notebook in weeks.

I can do better than *all* of them. Probably without studying.

Kind of tired, though. Got very angry this morning when I had to get up. Very, very angry.

OMG, new HIMYM tonight!!! OMG Squared, Season 2 on DVD tomorrow!!! YES!!! *does happy dances*

Do you kno what this also means? This means that in seven days and twelve hours Josh's Christmas CD will be out!!! *words do not express fangirly joy*

I have exhausted myself with thinking about all the work I've been doing lately and my fangirliness. I'm going to go eat a cookie.