Thursday, July 28, 2005


It sucks. I couldn't sleep last night, and woke up around one. And then tried desperately to fall back asleep for an hour before giving up and watching TV. But this is not so simple. My remote control doesn't work anymore, so I had to go steal my mom's (who has the same TV as me), which caused me to bang my shins into various things along the way, even though their room is just across the hallway. Isn't that weird? How there doesn't seem to be anything around when you turn off the lights at night, but by the time you get up to go to the bathroom or steal a remote control somebody has snuck in and put all of your large, sharp, immovable objects right where you step? Amazing. Right up there with the mystery of why it is fundamentally impossible to have as many socks coming out of the washer as going in. Impossible. I think that's one of the questions we are going to have answered when we get to Heaven- where all the socks went. And why the computor freezes up and goes so slowly every single time you need to get someting quickly...another one of life's big mysteries.

Anyway, I got the remote, and padded back to my bedroom where I proceeded to turn to VH1 and watch Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together" video. (Dear VH1: Love you to death, but please spring for the rights to some new videos. As nasty as the though of being married to Eric Roberts would be and I totally support Mariah's decision to leave him for Guy With No Hair- although, honestly, she could have been a little bit nicer about it-, I'm getting sick of the damn thing. Thank you.) And Nick at Nite was running a four hour block of Murphy Brown, which is a really funny show!!! I love it. I think I shall have to go buy the DVD. And Faith Ford is in it- totally didn't know that. The only thing I didn't like is that Paul Reubens was guest starring...ewwww!!!! But otherwise great. Why can't there be any funny shows that aren't stupid today? Why did I have to be born so late??? I'm holding my breath for Out of Practice this fall, because it's from the people who did Frasier, and if they can recapture that I'll love them forever...

So yeah, I watched three hours of that before finally falling asleep at five o'clock. Which, of course, led me to sleep until almost ten (which is late even for me) and then I had to wash my hair. Am I the only person who thinks this is annoying? Maybe it's just because I have so much hair that it takes forever, but it takes so long and it doesn't look good, and I hate the feeling of wet hair but if I dry it then it frizzes and it's just a no-win solution!!! Sheesh. I hate it. Our hair should be like our fingernails or something- occaisionally you have to scrape dirt from it, but other than that it pretty much stays clean. That would be perfect. Hate washing my hair. And I'm vigilant about it too, only because it looks so bad the day I wash it. Honestly, somebody is going to be asking me out sometime and I'm going to have to say I'm washing my hair---and it will be true!!! That's sad.

Anyhoodles, what else is going on??? Oooh, the funny Friends episode with the "Dude, you didn't say Die Hard" line was on the other day, which then led me to start thinking about Die Hard and how Bruce Willis really should have been move understanding of Hans and not killed him and the like...but Alan's cute little "American" accent was good...I think we should all love German terrorists a little bit more, okay??? Really, they're just lonely. And he did get that pregnant woman a sofa, remember? If you're truly evil, you don't worry about pregnant women's back pain. You just don't.

And the classic Trivial Pursuit rocks!!! Even better than the '90s edition which nobody will play with me because I totally rule at it. Well, except for my father, who knows everything about everything- honestly. To the point where it's almost not fun to be on the team with him because you feel like you're cheating. Usually we make him sit out and help whoever can't get a question- it just seems more fair that way. Anyway, Colleen and I almost won, except we didn't know what the Banana Boat song was (Daiooooooooo.....something daioooooooooo.....). Bummer. And it was kind of funny to read some of the was "What free world city is behind the Iron Curtain?" (btw, it was East Berlin), which is totally strange to a person who was like two when the Iron Curtain ceased to be. Lots of Yugoslavia questions, though, which were also kind of outdated. Funny, though.

Whew...nobody wants to read that, I'm sure, but I feel like I should update everytime I get on because it's not that often. I think I shall go stalk my academic advisor becuse it appears she has failed ot register me for fall semester. Not good. And I only have one year left there (although she doesn't know that), so I really need these classes!!! :p

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

War of the Worlds

So we all went to see this movie yesterday (with a whole three other people in the theater), and it was actually way better than I thought it would be. All the reviews that I read said it pretty much sucked, and while there were huge plot holes (why the hell was that little neighborhood in Boston perfectly clean when the rest of the world was like ending???) and it actually got so intense it was kind of funny towards the end, I thought it was really good. But most importantly, it let me spend two hours loving Tom Cruise like I did before the whole TomKat thing and forget that he's really become a crazy, insensitive bastard.

The plot was mainly Tom Cruise going for Father of the Year. His ex, who is happily pregnant and presumably married to a rather anonymous-looking good guy named Tim, dumps the kids at Tom's to go to his parents. Here, the first plot holes begin to appear. First, I wouldn't leave my children with Tom Cruise- even if half their genetic makeup did come from him. And I certainly wouldn't leave them with him in the slums. And why aren't they going to their grandparents, anyway???

Anyhoo, Tim is also loaded and has a better relationship with the kids than Ray (Tom Cruise). This sticks in Ray's craw (what is that?) and he goes about rectifying the situation by not feeding the kids dinner and calling Robbie, the son, a very nasty name that I can't repeat here for fear of being kicked off Oh, and then he goes to bed and leaves little Rachel alone while Robbie steals the car. And then the aliens come (oddly, not as disurbing as leaving your ten-year-old alone and hungry).

So for the next two hours Ray runs around with the kids, stealing cars, feeding Rachel peanut butter (with one of the funniest lines in the film), shooting, and hooking up with a really scary looking Tim Robbins in some basement (my dad said the first thing he thought of when he saw him was "You live with Susan Sarandon long enough...") and just generally tries to find his way to Boston, where, for some inexplicable reason, Mom will be waiting with perfectly coiffed hair. Yeah, it got kind of longwinded and boring after a while...

I still love the 1953 movie better, but the two leads were actually in this one, as the grandparents at the end. It just seemed more smooth and flawless, probably because they weren't focusing on Tom Cruise's seriously lacking parenting skills and the like, but this was pretty good. Dakota Fanning, for being an eleven year old, is a seriously good actress. Even next to Tom Cruise her's was probably the best performance in the movie. And that Robbie looked amazingly like Tom Cruise, although with an attitude. So pretty good- go see it. Steven Speilberg has definately moved on from cute and cuddly aliens ala ET...

Sunday, July 24, 2005

17 Things I Did NOT Need to Know...

Pay no attention to the title...unless you were on the boat with us on Friday, you wouldn't get it. And I can't really explain it, because that would just be nasty. Suffice to say that all men are gross, even those I so lovingly call Daddy and John. Whatever...

Sorry I haven't updated in so long. It seems like whenever I'm able to write, somebody's on the computor (yes, mother dearest, I realize that you are only comfy in this chair...). I haven't really been busy, but it feels like it. You know how it can all of a sudden it can be two o'clock in the afternoon and you have no idea how the time was spent?

I've been reading Six Wives, this super good book by some guy whose name I forgot about the six wives of Henry VIII (surprising, I know). I'm only halfway through Anne Boleyn, but that's like three quarters of the way through the book, because Catherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn get like six hundred pages and the last four are shoved into the last hundred. Which I don't think is entirely fair, because they were important too. Like Catherine Howard- she was and interesting little adultering whore!!! And Catherine Parr survived him- that deserves fifty pages at least. Anyhoo, it's a really good book.

I did go out for coffee this week with Mary, just before she left. Sadness. We'll miss you, Mary!!! And she doesn't even have a cell phone, like I did while I was in Cleveland. Oh well, she is housing the poor and all I guess it's worth having her gone for a week. But it seems like summer is almost over and it just started. Especially since I found out my sister doesn't start school until September 7th!!! Like a week and a half after me. Bugger.

Speakinging of stuff I was supposed to do with Mary and the like (okay, we really weren't but whatever), I saw The Island yesterday. Sorry, Mar, you're on your own for this one. The trailer made it look intersting and fun and not at all what it was- long, uninteresting and kind of upsetting. I mean, the whole clone thingy really freaked me out more than I thought it would. Human beings going through some kind of twisted gestation in what appeared to be giant fake breasts??? Not fun. And that whole first part seemed like it was two hours long and really boring and then they started blowing things up, which went on for like another hour that felt like three. Ugh. Even Machete Boy couldn't redeem this picture, and that's sad.

So now I'm just sitting here waiting for my mom to get home with breakfast and watching Blow Out on Bravo. This show is frickin hilarious. That Jonathon Antin is crazy. The whole show is him going "Oh my God, you guys, I think I'm going to cry!!! F---!!!! I'm not gay!!!" I think somebody is overcompensating... Funny, though. This is actually the first time I've actually watched the show, because everytime I see it in the TV section I think it says Blow Dry, and then I think "Oh my gosh, Alan's going to be on TV?!?!?!?!" before realizing that it's just that show on Bravo. And then I get a little bit sad. :(

Going to go stare out the window and wait for my doughnut...

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Johnny Rocks!!!!!

Made it back from Cleveland---everything is going well and I'm thrilled to be sleeping in my own bed. Although the air conditioning isn't on as much as I'd like...that's one thing for my parents, whenever we're in a hotel they pretty much let me run the thermostat. Anyhoodles, I saw a movie on Friday night, and, as the title will attest to, Johnny rocks!!!!

Even with the face makeup and gay little bob thingy he's got going on in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, he is so undeniably perfect I could hardly stand it!!! The movie was kind of better than I was expecting it to be, actually. I've never read the book, and never saw the Gene Wilder version (I still say he's just ticked off because clearly he isn't hot enough for his version to be the definitive edition...), but I pretty much knew the story. It didn't strike me as a real kid movie, though. If I had a little one, I don't think I would let them see it...Tim Burton scared the hell out of me when I inadvertantly watched a Nightmare Before Christmas twelve years ago... but watching Johnny be so...well, Johnny was really fun. He's such a good actor- there were only a couple of times when I could see some of his other characters coming through- a little lip curl like Jack Sparrow or something he would say like Ichabod Crane... and a little Ed Wood, but I think that's only because he was acting so effeminate. I guess Tim Burton brings out Johnny's kind of freaky side...

My favorite quote- "Even I'm eatable. And that, my dear children, is called cannibalism and is in fact frowned upon by most societies!" :)

And it's number one at the box office this weekend- beat Wedding Crashers by twenty three million. Ha. Johnny in makeup with fake teeth and lavender contact lenses can take on Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. I love it. So go see this movie---SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hint: Go to a nine o'clock or later showing so that you don't have to deal with all those unfortunate preteen Johnny fans who you just want to say "Hon, you still have recesss. Get over him." Our crowd was mostly guys in their early twenties and a couple of older teenage girls. Much more managable.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Alan and Lonliness

I know a lot of my posts seem to have "lonely" in the title, but I really miss home and everything. The good news is that Grandpa is doing fine and is coming home tomorrow. So no more sitting around the hospital!!! Although one of the nurses aids is hot, so that's kind of a bummer. But whatever.

One of the things that makes me feel at home is "stalking" all of my little actor people. And as none of Johnny's sites will let me in, I've been relegated to the Alan Rickman boards. Not that I really mind, because I'm totally back into him. It must be a summer hormonal thing or something, because I haven't really liked him since the Josh concert in August. So I've spent the last hour looking at pictures...good times. He looks great in all of his movies, but Snape and Harry from Love, Actually are my favorites. Harry is so sweet and domestic looking (when he's not ogeling his secretary's ass) and is so sweet with those kids you can't help but love him, and Snape is...well, he's Snape.

I don't know, maybe I just have a professor complex (no, not on any real ones...), or maybe it's just that the first Harry Potter movie was when I saw him for the first time, or maybe it's just that kick ass "Turn to page 394" line, which literally makes me gasp, but whatever. He's my favorite. I would pray for detention. Yeah...I'm just going to go have happy thoughts in my head, okay???

Oooh, and how can I forget about Col. Brandon??? He may be the most attractive character he's ever played- gay little hat and everything. And you've gotta love the taking care of the ex-girlfriend's daughter!!!! me some Brits...

Going to go try to make my eyes stop watering...darn allergies. I look like a demon my eyes are so red.

Monday, July 11, 2005


My face is erupting like Mt. St. borrow a phrase from 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter, it's somewhat like an oil spill without the dead pelicans. Yeah. Not pretty. Of course, it could also be the 90+ degree weather that this confounded city has that is sending my makeup in a desperate flee for my pores. This city hates me. *sigh*

Sorry, this is all you're getting tonight, I'm exhausted. And my phone is set to go off at seven tomorrow morning---as much I adore listening to Gerry sing to me, that's an awful, ungodly hour... Night, people!!!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Lonliness and Jane Austen

I'm homesick. I know I shouldn't be, because I'm only in Cleveland, and I've only been gone for four days, but I miss my life and my friends. Last night when I was down in the cafeteria I turned on my cell phone to check if anybody had called, and I almost started crying when I heard the message from one of my friends. It's not like it was a sad message, pretty much just a "I'm really bored, give me a call" thing, but it made me feel really lonely to know that she was at home nine hours away and I was standing in a cafeteria in Ohio. And this damn place doesn't clean your room more than three times a week---ever been in a hotel room with five people that hasn't been cleaned in awhile??? I'm just gonna let your little brains imagine that for a moment. Yeah.

Things are going well, though. Grandpa had surgery on Friday and came out just fine. We kind of lost him, because everybody we spoke to seemed to think he was in a different place. So after close to five hours and probably two miles of transversing the hospital, my mom, sister, and I finally found him. You could follow the bloody footprints that I left to verify this. In retrospect, the sandals with sharp, tight straps probably weren't the greatest idea. But I'm a shoe whore, what can I say. Seriously, I'm bleeding. I look down at my feet and think I've been abused.

So yeah, other than that, things are pretty boring. I got another ringtone on my cell phone, so now The Phantom of the Opera is my alarm tone. Hehehe...who doesn't want to wake up to Gerry serenading you with "The Phatom of the Opera is there...inside your mind!!!!"???? (This is my Copacabana...except with way more sex appeal...)kk They also had Point of No Return, but it wasn't the intersting, completely non-metaphorical part about all-consuming fires and opening
flowers...therefore wasn't worth $2.59. This is pretty good, though. :) Oh, and my sister and I watched Sense and Sensibility on the laptop last night after we got back the hotel. Even sitting on a creaky rollaway bed with some stupid Cartoon Network show on in the background, it's still the best movie ever made. And no, not just because of Alan. That's part of it...but not everything. Although I really could have done without my sister pointing out every one of his gray hairs throughout the whole damn movie... ;)

Speaking of Jane Austen, I read The Jane Austen Book Club sitting in a waiting room yesterday, and everyone must go read it. Aside from the Sense and Sensibility chapter where they repeatedly refer to Col. Brandon as dull and suggest that Marianne was essentially sold to him by her sister and mother. Clearly, this was not the case. Marianne was being a stupid, immature, rude bitch for the first three quarters of the book and that was why she didn't see Col. Brandon and immediately run into his arms (gray hair aside). It took a run in with that bastard Willoughby and a brush with death for her to realize that Bradon was the only guy who had loved her through everything, even when she was galavanting around town with the guy who knocked up his quasi-step-daughter. Sheesh. Darn, my blog is being a bitch and won't let me go any further...I should go back to the hospital anyway. I'll try to update again tonight if I'm not too tired...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Update from the Road

Or the city that is trying to kill me. Seriously, their roads are screwed up and they want me dead. Ugh. Why the hell does this city use that damn changable lanes thingy??? Hmmm??? But whatever. I'm happily settled in the little hotel room...and sharing a bed that is only as big as the one I was get to myself at home. But that's okay. Mainly I'm just worried. And trying to fight off the waves of flashbacks that come each time I smell an old scent. I did discover that spending time at a hospitals when you're older is a lot different than when you're twelve. It just feels different. Indescribable, really, but totally true.

And my fun flippy phone came right before I left!! Yayness!!! And while I was sitting in the hotel room with nothing to do this morning I figured out how to dowload fun ringtones and backgrounds. So now I have Canon in D as my ringtone (weddings!!!!) and Great Britain's flag as my background. I was going to download it anyway, but I wanted to have it today after what happened this morning.

How awful is this??? I was shocked when I heard, mainly because I was half asleep and my mom's call on the cell phone woke me up, but whatever. I must admit, as soon as I got over the shock and turned on CNN I thought about Alan and all the other guys I like in London. Kind of sad, I know...

Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with those in London today, and please pray for my intentions as well!!! I'm sorry this is kind of short, but I'm really tired and want to go eat a Three Musketeers bar...k? See you later...

Sunday, July 03, 2005

My Crazy Life

No, not the E! show, where washed-up "celebrities" talk about how they got in a traffic accidnet ("And then I like HIT him!!!! *giggle*"), but rather an update that I couldn't think of a name for. Whatever. Today I have a laundry list of things to discuss, ranging from Josh to Sandra Day O'Connor.

First off, I spent all afternoon watching the Live 8 concert on MTV and sometimes simultaneously listening to radio feed from Philadelphia on AOL. And with the exceptions of Bon Jovi doing "It's My LIfe", which is one of the few rock-like songs I enjoy, and Sir Paul, there wasn't a whole lot of interesting stuff going on. I think the starving children in Africa got bored after a while. Mainly because Josh was in Philadephia doing a beautiful, hauntingly sweet duet with Sarah McLaughlin on "Angels" (although, honestly, if Sarah had just shut up a little, it would have been good...) and NOBODY SHOWED IT!!!!!!!! I had to go find it today on the internet (FYI, you can see it at this link:;.html, Nay's Josh site...just don't's rude!!!) Anyhoo, he did beautifully- I love that song and Josh made it even better. I think he should consider putting something like it on his next album. Not that anybody asked me.

Much like nobody asked Madonna how to solve the world's problems. Now, I like the idea of this concert, and it was great at getting out awareness and everything, but Madonna was up there going on and on about how this was totally going to change the course of history because now the whole G8 Summit was going to go totally differently and all those little world leaders were going to forgive all the debt and come out hugging. Hmmm. Now, they didn't call me or anything, but I sincerely doubt that when Blair, Bush, Putin, and five other important guys whose names I don't know (Canada? Come on- you've got no identity!!!) get together the first thing they do is sit down and go "Okay, boys, who heard Madonna yesterday? She had some good ideas I think!" They're like running the world!!!! You wear traffic cones strapped to your chest!!! Not the same thing!!! Sheesh. Madonna bugs me.

Speaking of running the world and other powerful positions, Sandra Day O'Connor announced that she was resigning yesterday. The sad thing was, Bennifer II's wedding overshadowed it on the internet. Scary. I don't pretend to be knowledgable enough in the legal world to venture a guess as to who will be replacing her, but as long as he or she isn't a turncoat bastard like Souter, I'll be happy!!! :)

Let's see, what else is going on??? Oh, Cleveland. Right. You know, on those stupid men's deoderant commercials they say that scent is the strongest scent tied to memory. I don't know how that affects Old Spice sales, but I completley believe it. In March when we were there I walked into the hospital and was flooded with that awful feeling of being twelve years old and sitting on the floor of St. Luke's again. And it wasn't pleasant. And I've got a week of it coming up.

I'm not ready at all. I just broke down yesterday and bought some short-sleeved shirts. And then spent a ton of money on not-fun stuff like shampoo. Yay. That's exciting. Why is everything so expensive???? Grrr....

One final thing---Charlie and the Chocolate Factory comes out next Friday!!! And Johnny's on the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week!!!! Albeit with false teeth, lavender (????) contact lenses and a bob, but whatever. Still hot!!!! Gotta go, but I'll update soon.

Why does no one comment on my posts anymore??? I'm feeling unloved. ;)

Friday, July 01, 2005

TV Watch

Just so you know, I put up another post on my other blog about how I'm going to do it this summer. And if you weren't reading it during the TV season and still want bitingly sarcastic reviews of all of my favorite shows (usually all the CSIs), check it out. It's linked on the sidebar on the link aptly titled "TV Watch", or you can find it in my profile. Enjoy!!!