Box springs should have handles...

Okay, so I've been on this cleaning binge lately.

It started about two weeks ago when I decided to clean out my closet and drawers. I was feeling "Springy" and needed a place to put some new clothes...and the closet was seriously out of control. You couldn't see the floor. And the full-length mirror? Not so much when there's crap piled two feet up the mirror. And that little disaster area had spilled over to dresser drawers, which had spilled over (literally) onto my floors. I could hardly get into bed. It took me three hours and several CD rotations, but I finally finished it and ended up with organized drawers and baskets, a totally walk-in-able closet, and an actual place to hang my coat that didn't involve throwing it on the floor. And my personal favorite, the ability to get to my shoes without seriously damaging my rotator cuff. Oh, and enough discarded clothes to cover about ninety percent of the homeless in my city, but whatever.

So I lived with this for about a week, and then got to thinking. My closet was so clean, I really should clean my room. Like really clean- under things too. I thought about that for a few minutes. Hmmm. Sounded like hard work. Didn't like that idea. So I decided to be slightly less ambitious and just flip the mattress, because I had only done that like once in the three years I've had the thing. (It's supposed to be done every month. Uh-huh. Who really has time to flip their mattress every month?) So I hauled that sucker up, really hurting my back, and shoved it to the other side of the room. Well, then the box spring was just taunting me.

So I convinced myself that I was already half-way there, and it would be really easy to just move the box spring and vacuum under the bed, like I had thought originally. Ah-hah. Here was the problem. It is nearly impossible to move those darn things. They don't have cute little handles on the side like my mattress does. No. They just lie there not moving at all no matter how much you pull. And it's not like it was that heavy- I figured the mattress weighed twice as much as that thing. But it hated me. Really truely hated me. One time I pulled so hard I went flying back and hit the wall when my hand slipped. It hurt. A lot. All this time, Bon Jovi is wailing away in the background about it being my life. Which paused me to stop for a moment and consider, "Is this really my life? Moving box springs to vacuum? Is that it? Is this really living while I'm alive?" Whatever.

Anyhoo, after twenty minutes of cursing and yanking at that thing, I got it off the frame and kind of threw it to the other side of the room. And was faced with the entire contents of what was underneath there, actually illuminated for the first time in probably a year. *scary music*

It was terrifying. I know I'm not particularly tidy, but I really didn't think I could let something get that bad. I mean, there were boxes under there that housed stuff I bought like eighteen months ago. Shoes from last summer. A stiletto heel I thought I'd lost. And, perhaps scariest of all, a locker shelf from high school. Here's the scary thing- I left after freshman year. Which means that thing's been sitting there for upwards of two years. *shudder* Oh, and enough dust to account for ninety percent of my family's allergy problems. (FYI, I found the other ten percent under my dresser...)

And then I moved my little DVD shelf thingy, and realized how many families in the entertainment industry I am solely supporting just from my DVD expenditure alone. Got to cut back on that.

Anyway, I just felt I had to publicly defame the box spring for being so MEAN to me!!!! :p