Graduation, Part 2

Sorry it's been so long- my mother has decided that the only comfortable place for her to sit is the chair in front of the computor, where she has been parked for over a day. Not that I begrudge her that, because the poor woman can hardly move, but I didn't feel like dragging the phone cord across the room to reach the laptop. So I just waited until she had some place to be...I'm so lazy, I know...

Oooh, one little thing before I go on- Tom Cruise proposed to Katie Holmes on top of the Eiffel Tower today...with a rock roughly the size of the United Kingdom. I'd be really happy, because she's way closer to my age than anyone else who is with guys I like, but he have her convert to Scientology, which I don't approve of if you're already Catholic. And why does he have to yell at Brooke Shields??? I mean, yes, the woman did date Michael Jackson, so she's kind of predisposed to craziness, but come on- have you ever had post-partum depression, Tom? Hmmm?

Anyhoodles, moving on to the subject at hand. My cousin graduated from high school on Sunday. I actually found an outfit to wear, unlike the ill-fated sweater set that was so sheer you could actually see skin color through it, and was quite comfortable with how I looked. We had gotten there super early, so we were at least able to sit in the lowest floor part of the bleachers, and they even had water outside in a vending machine, so I was thinking this was going to be quite cool and comfy. Until everybody and their grandmother (literally) started pouring in. And they ran out of water---I felt really badly for this young woman ahead of me who was carrying this little baby girl, and they both looked dehydrated.

Once the ceremony started, things were just suffocatingly warm. And it was depressing, because every single girl was tall, thin, and gorgeous. With perfect hair. Seriously, there wasn't a dog in the bunch. And given the fact that it had to be close to a hundred degrees in there and really high humidity, I wanted to know what they were using to keep their hair so perfectly smooth and silky. Grrr.

The actual ceremony was only about two hours, and with the exceptions of the long-winded and often confusing Emily and Emily speech, and the principal rambling on in a slow I-had-to-become-and-educator-because-what-the-hell-else-would-I-do-with-this-voice monotone about the war in Afghanistan and Iraq for no apparently reason, was reletively painless. And I got to see my cousin get his diploma, which was really cool. He looked so happy too.

But it also made me kind of sad, because I'm never going to have that. I'm never going to get a diploma or throw that little hat thingy (I can't spell the name, sorry!!) in the air with my friends. A couple of months ago my mom said that the only thing she regretted for me was the loss of a two hour period in my life- high school graduation. At the time, I kind of rolled my eyes and said that I wouldn't really care to spend my weekend sititng in a stifling gym with a bunch of people I didn't like in the first place. I still feel that way mostly, but it looked like Sean was having so much fun.

I don't regret the choices I made regarding my education in the least. I love the way my life turned out, and I get kind of upset when I realize that I'm going to have to leave the university I go to in a year (yeah, well, they don't know that. I kind of led them to belive that I'd be going there for the undergrad degree...oops...). And I know that I would be absolutely miserable if I went back to that kind of life...I couldn't do it as a freshman, I know I wouldn't be able to handle it as a senior. But there are some times when I'm faced with a bunch of people having a happy, normal life and it kind of hits me that I'll never have that, ever.

But whatever, I'm further ahead then they are, right? I don't have to worry about going to college, because for the last three years I've been living it. Although nobody seems to realize that. I was talking to my advisor about a month ago, and she suggested that next summer I sigh up for a campus tour. (Remember, she thinks I'm going there for good.) What? A campus tour? I will have spent three years of life there! I don't need a tour!!! I know the whole damn campus from last spring when I spent the whole sememester dodging Stalker Boy. Let me tell you, I've never ran into so many ladies rooms in my life!!!! :)