Star Wars

I am such a dork.

I love Star Wars- even the first two prequels, which weren't even that good. I sat through Attack of the Clones four times in theaters (which, if you know me, is not that often!!!)- and loved every second of it. So, needless to say, I was there opening day for the new one, Revenge of the Sith. Unfortunately, adding to my dork factor, we went to a theater that wasn't too popular, so we stood in line for an hour completely alone. New meaning to "dork".

And this one was actually good!!! It was like I finally had permission to be obsessed with it! Especially Obi-Wan...no matter how many desperate declarations of how hot Anakin is in this movie, he's still way too angsty to be attractive. Whatever. Anyhoo, I loved it so much that I went back on Monday with Swimmergirl and Imladris. Star Wars is special to us, especially Attack of the Clones ("Ty, you bastard!"), and so was Memorial Day, so it was a perfect fit.

*spoilers* (But you should know how it ends, unless you've been living under a rock since 1977, in which case you should read this and join popular society. Thank you. :))

And it was even good the second time!!! I love it. Everytime I see that weird little scrolly thingy with the words going backwards I get chills!!! And this one was actually good! I'm probably the only one who didn't know that Chancellor Palpatine was Darth Sideous, but I did know that he was being awfully bitchy when Anakin and Obi-Wan rescued him, and the fact that I think he was wearing lip gloss kind of scared me a little bit...but whatever. And the part where Anakin becomes Darth Vader was really cool, except that when he started talking it was James Earl Jones's voice going "How's Padme??" in this weird, teenageish kind of way. And Yoda. Yoda rocks in this movie!!! I love Yoda- and he totally kicks ass this time around. He's even humble with the little "Failed have I. Go into hiding I must." thingy---so cute!!! And the final dual between Anakin and Obi-Wan was so climactic-really more emotional that that series usually gets. And it shows off how much better of an actor Ewan McGregor is than Hayden Christiansen. ;)

However, my favorite was probably Obi-Wan. I love Obi-Wan. I'd like to volunteer to keep him company during those nineteen years of exile on Tatoine or wherever (provide, of course, that he doesn't turn into Alec Guinness). And he's so great in this movie!!! He completely rocks the beard thing, which I wouldn't have thought, and he so sweet and funny and good and perfect- and he's got that whole I'm-a-powerful-Jedi-master thing going on...is it getting hot in here??? And- get this- he helps Padme during labor! And holds little Luke (where the hell did she come up with that name???) after he's born! How adorable is that???? And then he takes him to those moisture dudes on Tatoine (I known it's not spelled correctly...), all wrapped up in that hot Jedi cloak!!!! *thud* "Ty, you bastard!"

A few things I feel I must point out though---

-How naive are those Jedi? Haven't they ever taken a health class? Padme's suddenly pregnant and sharing an apartment with Anakin, and nobody can figure out that he's the father??? I mean, Obi-Wan's all "I'm having a revelation here" when he says it! Grow up, boys...

-Where, exactly, is Padme keeping these babies? Hmmm? First of all, her size fluctuates throughout the movie. When she's wearing a gown she looks kind of normal sized, but then in that little traveling outfit she sports at the end makes her look slighly bloated. I look worse during most of the month- that's not pregnancy, that's life! And then she bounds, literally bounds up the ramp at the end. When she's supposedly ready to pop. Now, I've never been pregnant, but I was five the last time my mother was, and don't remember a whole lot of bounding going on. I remember my sister wiping her tears when she was in so much pain that she couldn't move, but there was no bounding. And then she spits out two fourteen-pound kids!!! Did you see the size of little Luke when Obi-Wan was holidng him? That kid is four months, at least!

- On the subject of Padme's size, did you see room for a support shelf in that satin and pearls number that she was sporting the night Anakin had his dream? I didn't- and I'm fairly certain that in real life it would have been neccessary.

- Again speaking of Padme- what the hell happened to little miss I'm-the-youngest-queen-I-am-too-busy-for-you? Now she's a clingy, whiny person who spends most of her time daydreaming and roaming around her apartment while stroking her curiously curled locks (did I miss something? Were they curly last time?). To steal a line from EW- "Are there no books?"

- Dear George Lucas: While I am incredibly indebted to you for giving me this wonderful franchise and a chance to see Ewan McGregor in a role that doesn't involve him molesting every woman in sight, please, for the love of God, stop writing "romantic" dialouge. "Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo"? Please excuse me while I throw up. Love ya!!!

- The Jedi better have a kick-ass optometry insurence program, because Anakin's going to need it after staring out of the tope of his eyelids for two and a half hours. Seriously, I was getting a headache.

- Finally, why hasn't Padme aged a day since The Phantom Menace, while Anakin has grown from a little kid to an adult? And am I the only one who is creeped out by this? Anybody? Like Luke-kissing-Leia crepped out?

Anyhoodles, go see the movie!!!!