Karen, I am a lawyer, which means, unlike you, I actually *passed* a bar.

Gah, so much has happened since I updated three weeks ago shut up, so I felt obligated. Well, that and I'm avoiding studying for a geography test that I'm totally going to bomb and don't really care about since I got a 97% on the last one whee!!! Don't flip out, parental units who are mostly paying for this higher education experience, I am actually going to take it seriously, and probably do quite well. Or at least mediocre.

Le anyhoodles, today we have many, many topics to discuss, including but not limited to the final (?) resolution to my academic crisis of faith, Christian Bale hotness, sexual impotence (doesn't have anything to do with Christian Bale, I don't think), and why the liberals should have their crayons taken away.

*ahem*

So French going tres poorly. As in, tres is the only word I really know. (Meanwhile, I can say "My name is..." in Russian till the cows come home!!!) So this morning, for some inexplicable reason, I decided that perhaps the arena of international affairs and their mandatory four semesters of a single foreign language and oh-yeah-you-have-to-totally-kick-ass-at-it-too thing wasn't, in fact, my life's calling. This led to a slight mental breakdown, since it has been my life's calling since I decided to marry a diplomat for quite some time now. Still, I recovered long enough to consider criminal justice for about twelve minutes (What? It was early and I was dehydrated and I was thinking about law school. It kinda makes sense. Sorta.). That didn't last long.

But then sometime today I had a total epiphany (probably brought on by the scary confusing French class at noon) and have decided to return to one of my earlier life goals and major in journalism with a focus on media studies, which is sufficiently intelligent to get into law school but sufficiently vague that I could get a job doing something else if I decide sinking a hundred grand into a degree I don't really want to use isn't for me (hey, the sad part is, it could go either way!!!) And- drum roll, please- no foreign language requirement!!! *does snoopy dances*

Also, I've decided on an educational philosphy of screw you all and your little dog too and I'm minoring in art history for no good reason. So there. *sniff*

No icons. Blogger hate.

Someone decided to arm all the bleeding hearts at my school with sidewalk chalk. And they should be shot, because I'm getting incredibly sick of walking over sixteen different "Vote No on November 7th" pleas scrawled all over the ground. Ugh. Honestly. As if anyone would make up their mind based on what some stoner wrote on the sidewalk. All you can talk about all day is how wasted you're going to be come Thursday (no, they don't wait until Friday) and I'm supposed to take your political advice.

Seriously though y'all, the Vote Yes/No debate is probably the only one where I actually agree wholeheartedly with my position (okay, I think they should have separated the two things, so maybe not even that). I'm not crazy about the candidate for governor, and I'm this close to voting for the other guy in the attorney general race, because our guy scares me just a little bit what with his shoot-all-the-foreigners-and-let's-all-conceal-and-carry rhetoric. (My sister's take on the gun control debate? "Wait. Would this mean I couldn't carry a cute little gun in my handbag???" I'm so proud.)

*sigh* The pressures of being politically active.

Picture icon here. It's not, but you should still picture it.

Saw bunches of movies last weekend, and they were all terrific. The Prestige=almsot too much creepy hotnes to handle. We lurves Christian Bale. I'm going to start reading the book now---looks wonderful.

And saw Marie Antoinette on Saturday, which was actually a way better movie than I thought it would be. Scarred Mary for life, though, with all the impotence stuff. She'll never be the same.

OMG, WHAT AM I GOING TO BELIEVE IN NOW!?!?!?! This is worse than the Golden Couple breakup. This was real, man. *tear*

Going to go fend off the mice.

*trumpets sound*

I updated. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

The people's princess, mate---you owe me.

Okay. There is a Christian Bale Q&A on AOL News about the Prestige, but in order to watch it I'd have to turn off Josh's new song. Fingers won't click the button. They are telling my central nervous system to go...well, let's just say my fingers aren't using very good language. Okay. Once more. Then I'll watch Christian Bale.

5 Minutes Later~

Managed to turn Josh off long enough to watch it, and it was totally worth it. You know, while I've pledged to have his children, I don't think I've ever actually heard Christian Bale speak in his real voice. It's hot.

Just a couple of things before you can watch it for yourself,

1.) Play dates??? They had PLAY DATES!?!?!? I'm spontaneously ovulating RIGHT NOW. *fans self*

2.) Christian Bale wants to play at kids parties. Oh. Well. You could probably just show up and while the kids might not be impressed, the moms will applaud. And probably spontaneously ovulate.

Just realized that I'm going to see this movie in like twenty minutes, and I have very little idea of what it's actually about. Magic? Magicians? Scarlett Johansson's breasts? I'm very confused.


Finally saw The Queen last night with Imladris and about ten thousand other people. Whatever. It was awesome. Helen Mirren did a great job---after an hour I wasn't even thinking "Eww. Old people sex" anymore!!! And Kate Beckinsale's babydaddy did a good job of portraying Blair, too; albeit a Blair who got a hold of some Rogaine and a tube of Just for Men gel, but whatever. Cherie Blair, however, was a total bitch. But a skinny bitch. Way skinnier than in real life. I guess I'd be okay with them portraying me as a bitch if they had a skinny woman playing me. But I'm pretty shallow.

Loved the Queen Mother, too. She was awesome.

George from Grey's Anatomy is gay. I can't find the article to link. What???

Imladris want's the computor. A bientot.

Between the womb sounds and the heartbeat, it was like being in mom's uterus but without all the smoke.

Obsessively checking iTunes. Josh's new song is not up. Considering buying it through the UK iTunes site and seeing just how badly that would screw things up. Hey. I spent thirty-six dollars for an extra-special fan club edition of Awake that includes essentially one extra song. I never said I was normal.

Boo. It won't let you do that. As soon as you sign in it kicks you back to the US. Bugger.

Much frenzied posting on the FOJG boards. The Grobanites are NOT to be screwed with. *sniff*
This is also a fantastic way to avoid doing the geography assignment due in our tediously boring discussion tomorrow. I really don't care about Taiwan, in fact, I'm fairly certain that if pressed I could recall little about it except a general idea about where it was located. And the actual discussion is far from---a group of painfully shy students with dangerously low blood sugar (class is during the lunch hour) and a TA with a modulated I-taught-English-to-little-Japanese-kids-and-this-is-how-I-had-to-talk voice. Oh the fun we have.

Actually, in a completely unforseen turn of events, French is turning out to be the best hour of the day. Not in the I-can't-believe-I'm-getting-an-A way, becauses I'm totally not, but it's a really great group of students, and sometimes the professor (? I don't think she is, but she's not a TA, but that's not really important) is so adorably absurd everyone bursts into laughter. Last week she started pouting and went "Why is everybody so sad?" in this really thick Russian/French accent, and Mike and Megan and Mary and I looked at each other and could not help it.

Of course, I'll probably fail, but hey- I will have had fun getting there.

And clearly I have much better things to do with my time than geography.

*does extremely happy snoopy dances* Yay---another season!!! I can watch all the icky kinky dead body goodness at my leisure!!! And the second seasonw as so awesome---the whole doll thing, the roller derby, the No-seriously-Mac-with-a-kid??? episode, and, of course, the conclusion to the Miami/NY crossover. Franky, I think they should have included the first part, like they did with the first crossover episode when NY started. But they didn't. I don't care, because I have seven DVDs of CSI:NY and I don't think the birth of my first baby will make me as happy as this.

Hey. I'm *not* normal.

Ahh. Sleep. Sadly lacking from my life. I'd nap if I had any time in the afternoons. Which I don't. I can sleep on Saturday. Four days. I can do that.

Fun math class on Monday- we talked about Numb3rs and played Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. (Gosh can you tell it's the lowest possible for-credit math you can take???) Oh yeah, and the professor was TOTALLY kicking ass at Six Degrees. He connected Jim Carrey to Kevin Bacon using John Lithgow. John Lithgow??? Seriously. Dude's a total geek.

And any time I get credit for talking about hot FBI agents (sadly, my professor does not look like Don. Or even Charlie.) is a good day for me, no???

Just went to get the mail and found two letters from Concordia begging me to enroll. Will they never let me go? *dramatic sigh*

I'm going to go watch The View and then revel in the completely implausible attractiveness of the entire CSI cast. It's a good day, children, a very good day.

Anybody want to take me to a wedding???

I'm not kidding. Any living breathing male who I'm not related to (sorry, Spawn of Mickey). E-mail me if you want the whole story. Trust me. It's worth it.

New and exciting in the life of me? Not much.

Oh. Cleaned out the microwave yesterday. I know, pretty exciting stuff, huh??? Please, try to control your excitment.

Had to work yesterday, which was very much of the suck even though we were kind of busy for awhile. Very small miniscule tips, though. Boo.

HA! I have be successful in locating and securing tickets to The Queen. Suck on that, Miramax.

Vindication will be mine. Next Thursday.

THAT GUY OH SHIT SHE REALLY DID SLEEP WITH HIM! AHHHHHHHHHHH! Not my work, but I felt like putting a little bit of Lost on here. Do you know it beat Criminal Minds by like 200,000 viewers? What's up with that?

Huh. I just realized that this was a terribly short and not that funny entry. Oh well. Ciao, children.

Ooh, math fight.

Hehe. Yesterday was insanely busy, but I could not go to bed without watching at least one episode of my brand new season 2 DVDs of Numb3rs---whee!!! I picked the one with my future husband, Colin Hanks, and was treated to forty-three minutes of non-stop FBI-and-intellectual hotness. *sigh* It was so worth being exhausted this morning.

[Insert Prettified Numb3rs icon here if blogger weren't being a bitch]

Also exhausting? Running for the bus because your freaking rearview mirror fell off and you had to pull off the freeway and call your father for an emergency consultation. Yes. That happened. I was not amused.

Okay. Save for a dinner tonight at an Italian restaurant, we can all return to eating somewhat normally after close to a week of non-stop family partying, which has the same negative physical side effects of normal partying, but none of the pleasant social ones (*sigh*). Just to give you some idea, I'll give you a brief glimpse into what I ate this weekend.

Thursday- Taco Bell and cake.
Friday- Cake from Thursday, banana coconut frappuccino, cake from Friday, ice cream
Saturday- Cake from Friday, lasagna, brand-new cake, lots of garlic bread. Manhatten. Lots of wine.
Sunday- more lasagna. Cake from Friday, a little bit of Saturday's cake. Mashed potatos, a little bit of some sort of meat (pork?) and about half a loaf of garlic bread (different garlic bread).
Monday- Cake from Friday (what? It's still good), a little bit of cake from Thursday, lasagna, every side dish Boston Market offers, a little bit of chicken that Imladris didn't want after she realized that it used to be an actual chicken, and brand special new cake that happens to be from the same bakery. Oh. And another manhatten.
Tuesday- leftovers from everytihng, including all three cakes, lasagna, Boston Market, and even tasted a new spice cake that was previously deemed unfit for my legume-intolerant constitution.

Then I came home and collapsed in front of Boston Legal and wanted to never eat again.

I officially have nothing else to write about. A demain.

The hardest thing to govern is one's own heart.

Obviously, if you can believe the titular characters from my impromptu Horny Women Rulers movie marathon last night.

I think the gallons of pumpkin spice I consumed yesterday out of sheer boredom and contempt might have impacted my ability to sleep, and maybe also made my leg muscles weirdly twitchy, so instead I was awake until one o'clock finishing up random royal movies that I've started and then not finished (Numb3rs out on Tuesday---must clear the decks for non-stop Kevlar-inspired viewing).

First up was the last half of the A&E movie Catherine the Great with Catherine Zeta-Jones from about ten years ago. Okay. I'd just like to say that having them start out with Catherine's wedding day (she was fifteen) while being played by Mrs. Douglas was not terribly good, because I'm fairly certain that she didn't even look fifteen when she was fifteen.

It was good, I guess. Not terribly historically accurate, and had a cheap kind of look to it. Also found out that the DVD was censored, which was terribly amusing, because they didn't do a very good job at the editing thing. I was wondering why it kind of jumped around so much. Now I know it's because they didn't want unsuspecting viewers to catch sight of Catherine's boobs. Whatever.

However, it made me realize that there have been absolutely no good adaptations of Catherine the Great's life, which seems weird, because her story was so amazing. The girl (a no-name princess from some random Germanic province) was sent to Russia to marry the impotent king and be controlled by his mother, then she waited until Mom was dead and staged a freakin' coup to take control of Russia. And, if you want to be sensationalistic, she might have been a nyphomaniac. Just so you know.

I think that's begging for the full BBC Emmy Consideration treatment, no?

Then I finished second part of Elizabeth I with Helen Mirren, who is my squishy and I pledge my undying devotion to, much like a real queen. Oh, it was good. Much, much better than Catherine the Great. I really liked how they followed her to the end of her life, not just until Robin died or whatever.

Except, damn, they can show anything on HBO!!! I was seeing some guy's severed head in my dreams until I woke up this morning. *shivers*

And only one glaring historical inaccuracy---Elizabeth never actually met Mary of Scots. Yeah, they were cousins and Mary tried to take over England and turn it Catholic and then Elizabeth had her killed, but they never ever met. But in HBO world, they did. *sigh* Nothing's perfect.

(No icons today. Sadness.)

My parents would like everyone to know that they are not, in fact, blood-thirsty communist hunters such as I might have insinuated in the last post. Mea culpa. I do know, however, that we did have a conversation much like the one described that they probably just don't remember. And the Boy's history book says (and I quote) "Joseph McCarthy was a good Catholic who was concerned about his country." Oh yeah. You've gotta love Seton, perfectly illustrating that half of writing history is ignoring things that don't fit in with your ideas. "The Spanish Inquisition? Why, what have you heard?"


Took Imladris on a quest to get carded this weekend (didn't work) an we went to see Little Miss Sunshine, which turned out to be not weird and depressing as I originally thought but rather weird and kind of sweet and dare I say it uplifting in the end? And freakin' hilarious. I will watch Steve Carrell do anything. The man is a genius. We have decided that we should return to the scene of her getting kicked out of Kingdom of Heaven the next time and R one comes there. Hehehe.

Only really one thing to link this morning, NUCLEAR WINTER AHH!!!!!!!!!! *ahem* Oh, and it's not the good Korea, either.

Okay, obvious nuclear winter=bad. But I only have two things to say about this, and neither of them are terribly intelligent, but whatever.

1.) Too bad SNL fired Horatio Sanz. They don't have anyone else who remotely resembles Kim Jong Il now, and you know they're gonna need him!!!
2.) Dammit. Bush probably talked RIGHT THROUGH the beginning of The View again. Grrr. Somebody's got to get him a schedule.

Have a good Monday, y'all, and happy birthday to Grandpa!!!

A seriously, this is what I'm doing with my Friday night what the hell do you mean this is the prime of my life? post

What can I say. I aim to please. And since this is the only time since th beginning of school that you've gotten two posts in less than three days, you should be thankful.


Mostly, I just want to talk about Keisha Castle-Whatever's freakishly statutory-raped induced impending motherhood.

Okay. I googled statutory rape in New Zealand, and apparently 16 is the cutoff, so I guess it's technically not, but still. She is a child. She's younger than my little sister. She showed up at the Oscars three years ago wearing a little white dress with bows. Freakin' bows. And now she's preggers.

Has the world gone mad??? And I'm very confused as to why People.com is reporting this like it's any other old pregnant celebrity and not sombody who just learned to drive. Sheesh.

And, on a day when Marcia Cross announces she's gonna pop out two of 'em, Farrah's got cancer, and Sienna is apologizing to and entire city (who could probably care less), it's a pretty big deal that I'm preoccupied with Baby Whalerider.

Boo. I had a very pretty Good Night and Good Luck icon to put here and it wouldn't let me. *sniff* I was going to use it as an opening to talk about the rather shocking recent revelations that my parents supported McCarthy (okay, they were like six, but still), and generally approve of what he was doing. Which made me rethink watching Good Night and Good Luck for family movie night, because if you like McCarthy, you will not like this movie. If you like George Clooney in period dress and don't really care what the hell happens to the country, this is a flick for you!!! No, no, I kid. I care about the country. And I think a very small percentage of the people that McCarthy went after were actually a significant threat to the nation, and should have been dealt with. I don't think, however, that he really needed to destroy the lives of completely innocent people who ended up on some USSR mailing list from 1938 when, excuse me, we were completely supporting the USSR. *deep breath* End of the political rant.

But sadly, the icon did not work and I was forced to put up one of Bleak House, which (suprisingly as it contains just about everything else) any people trunking up old alliances to hurt other people's lives now. Oh. Wait. It kind of does. Because Tulkinghorn is blackmailing Lady Dedlock. Hmmm. But she wasn't a communist, she was just kind of a whore.

Went out for coffee with Mary and Nick tonight (no, it wasn't nearly as third-wheel as it sounds in print), which was much fun, mostly because I'm pretty sure that until he met Mary Nick had never been in a coffee shop before. Hehe. And we're going back tomorrow to "study". Uh-huh. Our studying never ends up actually being much studying but rather a discussion of the weeks activities or more important aspects of the class, like cute guys (there aren't any, sad) or the fact that teacher (I'd call her a professor but she's not) wears the same clothes for two days in a row repeatedly (No. Seriously. She does. It's weird.). Very little conjugation going on.
Watching a superb episode of Numb3rs right now---a painting was stolen (I'm intrigued), but it was stolen by Nazi's before (I'm hooked), and now Don is having an adorable little crisis of faith (I'm watching breathlessly). *sigh* I love this show. Season 2 on DVD on Tuesday---woot woot!!!

I. Need. To. Find. The Queen. Yes, I realize that the icon is Helen Mirren playing the wrong Queen Elizabeth, but it's the only thing I could find, and it still serves the purpose. Also, I'm considering buying the soundtrack to Restoration (out of print, very hard to find) off of eBay just so I can have the music from the trailer because, to steal a line from the Empress, it is Teh Loveliness and I must have it. Now. Except it's out of print and very hard to find. Grrr.

I'm off to go collapse upstairs and watch Best Week Ever while trying to wipe out the slept debt that I have acquired this past week. Tomorrow, if it doesn't start with and eleven, I'm not getting up.

ETA: Two things- first, People.com just pulled the Farrah story. The link still works, it just says Do Not Publish at the top. Oh juiciness.

Second, the first icon is way funnier if it were actually moving. It's supposed to then show a picture of Benedict XVI and a caption "I'm Catholic", and then a picture of a bear with a caption "I shit in the woods". HAHAHAHA. *ahem* I'm going to see if I can make it work.

A discussion of Josh, Christian Bale, Alan Rickman, baseball, and Pope Paul V. Yes, we'll cover them all. Just read it, okay?

I hate to let Roma down this close to her mom's birthday, and it has been almost a week (Bad blogger! Bad!!!---even my inner creative goddess is self-critical bordering on masochistic), so I have resolved to give you an entry. Because I have a week of opinions and links and just general stuff than nobody really wants to hear about so they prefer to read about it instead. So there. I hope this keeps Roma interested in sub-saharan Africa while she's strapped to my sister's (the girl who just asked for my iPod because she refuses to excerise without her tunes) back. *smothered guffaw*

I'm tired. And hungry. And in need of glucose. I've had two cups of coffee, a cheese and herb bagel, and a pumpkin spice latte today. Not terribly balanced, and also not terribly filling. More balanced than my dinner last night, during which I behaved like a PMS-ing Kirstie Alley (the Look-Who's-Talking-Now years---not good, not good at all) and ate whatever chicken and rice thing my dad made that was left in the pan (I didn't feel like getting out a dish), the last little cheesy stick, a roll, two biscuits (I knew I was in it for the long haul, and didn't want to finish the rolls that other people eat. What Can I say? I'm a conscientious glutton), and little bit of cake. Oh. And a couple of cookies. It actually isn't as big as it sounds, it was just a lot of small packages of carbs.

And I'm the one in the family without any health problems. Heh.


Freakish number of tests recently. I think I did okay on psych, but geography was completely not about stuff than we talked about. And then I kind of didn't know the definition for globalization, so I just used a lot of big words in hopes of confusing the professor who is sadly lacking in any basic English grammar skills. I'm sure in Korea she was just the brightest thing ever, but not so much here.

So I have a couple of days to breath before another French "quiz" (I'm sorry. But when it's seven pages it counts as a test, all right?) on Monday. *sigh* I'm taking applications for both my father's kidney or lung (pay for next semester!!!) *and* for husband (minimum requirement: 400k in the bank and average income- not including bonuses- 100k annually---pay for the rest of my life!!!), and can be reached at 1-800-Desperate!!!

*For the husband applicants, major bonus points if you're over fifty and your cholesterol is over 250. But only if you're sans children, will (real or nuncupative), any trusts that might give some of MY money to charity, and/or testamentary capacity. I am not above resorting to intestacy. Fear not. As long as you don't have any children than don't share my DNA, I'll still get it all. :D

But don't worry, those of you who had the bad sense to reproduce before you met me. You will still be considered, but in this case you must have a current will and I must be notified of all forthcoming drafts and codicils. Unfortunately, marital property law has this stupid it's-not-mine-if-you-made-it-before-you-met-me-even-if-I'm-the-best-thing-that-ever-happened-to-you thing that applies to estate planning. Pssh. Whatever.

So TV has been awesome, lately, no??? Sorry about the lack of other-blog posts, but I hardly have enough time to keep this one up. Still, I'm loving the fact that I have so many unbelievably amazing shows to watch every single night!!! Although I am not pleased that the locusts are back. And this year they felled Justice, my New Favorite Show Ever. *tear*

Also on TV, not that I watch it because it must be up against something terribly important in my universe (ETA: Two and a Half Men and New Adventures of Old Christine), but The Bachelor is back for their 26th season or something and this time they managed to score a Borghese.

Which might be worth tuning in just to watch the whole group of Ph.D. candidate bacheloretts a.) try to figure out how to pronounce his name, b.) have to think back past Beverly Hills 90210, and finally c.) come to the slow realization that there is a massive difference between being a prince of Italy (not that there's been on since 1946) and an Italian prince. Hehehe.

Especially when one's claim to fame is a dubious "title" that was given by a dubious Pope in 1605 when nepotism was the only way to go (see: The entire Medici family), which is why his name is on the Vatican. I'm waiting for someone to realize this, because I find it absolutely hi-larious, and nobody is talking about it.

Major Josh news, y'all, or at least it was last week when I found out about it but was too busy to post. All hail the Awake artwork!!! Okay. The jeans look a teensy bit like mine. And I'm not fond of the belt buckle. But still. Gorgeous. 34 days. Whoo!!!

I come bearing lots of pictures from lots of movies that I totally ripped off someone's blog who I don't even know. But still...

Who knew that there were so many pastels pre-revolution? I sure didn't. I guess the whole archetypal proletariat uprising killed that. Too bad.

Okay. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't want Scarlett Johansson's head on a platter. Or a stick. Just so long as it's no longer attached to her pretty little body so she can't star in any more movies with MY HUSBAND. Grrr.

Gosh. So many emotions. I'm confused, amused, and find this weirdly attractive, all at the same time. If that wasn't an early birthday gift for the Empress, I can't help her. ;)

So despite the fact that she bugged me to update, Imladris is excercising her royal power of a lowely Grand Duchess and wants the computor. But one more thing.

Nobody wants to take credit for Beowulf, but there's another taker for this??? Will the madness ever stop?