Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Blogger will not let me post pictures. Woe.

The cake featured in yesterday's entry is gone. Bigger woe.

Tuition bill came. Holy shit woe.

But we have cream puffs courtesy of Daddy's parents. Yayness.

So Colleen has made it her goal to find me platonic spouse. For those of you who don't know, Imladris has a platonic universe worked out where she is married to Jack Malone from Without a Trace, but they sleep separately and adopt children. She meets Vivian for coffee, and Greg from CSI crashes on her couch. Also, I think Nick and Sara from CSI live down the street. I'm not sure about this. Oh, and Samantha and the boys from WOT don't exist. She wants me to share in this platonic universe and has posted a list of platonic husbands for me to choose from.

Will Ferrell
Mackenzie Crook
Dustin Hoffman
Victor Garber
Bill Nighy
Sean Hayes
Billy Boyd
Andy Serkis
William Peterson
Michael Caine

Along with some snarky comments about my taste in men, which- much like my taste in wine- she finds questionable (lots of people like pinot noir---and not just because of Sideways, which I actually wasn't that fond of).

Any one of them, except for the one that should not be on there because she knows it couldn't be platonic because I regrettably got verbal diarreaha while we were in the care one day, would do. But I've been thinking about it, and have decided that I would like to be in a sexless marriage with the nice old guy from Criminal Minds (also, the guy who the title in The Princess Bride. Which I have not seen yet). He's nice and probably rich and if we're being platonic here I don't have to worry about looks. So we're good. Oh, and there's a poster from his CD in the back room at work and everytime I see it I feel the need to screech and go "HEY!!! CRIMINAL MINDS GUY!!!!!!!!" which no one seems to appreciate.

But nobody else from the show is allowed in my universe. The girls are too pretty, and the guys are...well, too pretty.

Onto other implausible discussion topics, last week Imladris posted something about what she would take with her to the end of the world or some other sort of disaster. And then her friend posted the same thing. While I do not have their painbrush talents (I can't draw a stick figure), and therefore will not have a picture of a stick figure me running from a flood/fire/Horseman, I have been thinking about this. And I've been having a big problem figuring out what I would take. Because all the stuff that's important to me, like my books and movies and posters and stuff, can all be replaced really easily. Except maybe that Josh one that they don't sell anymore. Obviously the jewlery I have been entrusted with, but I can wear all that. Other than that, I think I'd take my purse.

Because my purse is less a purse and more a Black Hole of Things One Possibly Might Need. Seriously. People vacation with les. My iPod is there, which I would definately need because it has all of my slightly illegal Josh songs that the Grobanites were kind enough to send me. My cell phone, which I would not want to be without. My checkbook and wallet and calender, all of which I would feel naked without. And then we have the full compliment of beauty supplies, including but not limited to breath strips, wet ones, hair spray, hair bands, concealor, pressed powder, blush, mascara, lipstick, lipgloss, lip balm, and sunscreen.

And a Tide Pen, in case I spill anything.

Magic Erasered (yes, it can be a verb *sniff*) the kitchen floor today, and it looks quite wonderful. I loves me the new extra strength Magic Eraser. I only used one and go the whole kitchen done. And now my dad is out there grinding something and probably destroying it. Woe.

Looks as though we may be going out of town of Friday. *does snoopy dances* I have shopping to do...

Okay, this has absolutely nothing to do with anything at all, but I just realized it today. Libya has the MOST BORING flag EVER. They just do.

The troops say no, thank you. They have enough to deal with without having to drag La Lohan's drunken ass out of Nobu: Baghdad at two o'clock some morning.

Have a good Tuesday, y'all.