As per my creepily unborn niece's request (and who can refuse a baby who's off in sub-Saharan Africa or someplace???), I'm updating. Bow before my internet kindess.
Kind of to talk about hte same stuff. I had three things to accomplish today, 1.) Clean downstairs room of all scary spiders and old notes from last Spring, 2.) Clean attic of all scary dead flies and books from ten years ago, and 3.) Clean microwave of scary exploding taco meat. I've done the first two, and seriously screwed something up in my back carrying a load of old Practical Horseman magazines (keeping them in your attic for seven years? Not so practical.) to the garage and then fleeing from what I was convinced was a scary mouse/vole/flesh-eating mutant rodent. *ahem* It was a very dignified flee.
Last week, when I was started the little clean-out-the-attic-bins thingy, you may recall that I found bunches and bunches of old books and then threatened never to teach my children to read. Yeah. They're now not going to be let anywhere near a place that has books. Because I found the rest of my Nancy Drew collection, my entire Thoroughbred set, The Saddle Club, The Babysitter's Club, The Pony Pals, those stupid little yellow Girl Scout books, and bunchs and bunchs of other ones (OOOOH, Sister of the Bride!!! I loved that book!!! Except the bride was like my age. Hmmm. I'm alone like a dog. Sad now...), and managed to condense them into two bins, which I think was quite conservative because there were roughly, oh, a billion of them.
Discovered that I have a copy of The Princess Bride, the movie version of which I was planning on renting because it seems like everybody in the world has seen it. Except me.
Also decided that the left-over bin would be used for school-book overflow, because I have four more years of getting unnaturally attached to textbooks. Another thing my children will not be allowed to do. They will be required to sell or throw out all textbooks on their way home from school at the end of the semester, lest they end up having sick, twisted internal debates such as follows.
Author: Ooh, film history!
Author's Inner Conservative: What are we "ooh"-ing about? You hated that class.
Author: No I didn't! I loved it! It's film, and...history. What more to love?
Author's Inner Conservative: Um...yeah. You skipped half the screenings because they were long and boring and did less than half the recommended reading. Oh, and comletely winged it on the final exam.
Author: But I loved it!!!
Author's Inner Conservative: No. No, you didn't. You hated it, and the crabby sleep-deprived teacher (new baby) and the fact that it kept you at school for all day Tuesdays and Thursdays (except when you skipped the three-hour long Japanese screenings towards the end of the semester), and the fact that the "interesting" guest was that pot-smoking dweeb who made American Movie. Oh, and you used your hatred of it to allow you to skip chemistry lab, which followed it.
Author: HEY! Not fair. That was a very difficult semester!!! I had Stalker Boy and Scary Rhetoric Bitch to deal with. I wanna keep my book.
Author's Inner Conservative: No, you don't. Why would you save a book from a class that you hated?
Author: Because I WANNA!!! *stomps foot*
Thankfully, Author controls muscle function, and we kept the film book. I will not allow my children to undergo this sort of trauma.
Also cleaned out my room downstairs, because I've kind of been ignoring it all summer and it rather resembled an attorney's cluttered cavern what with the negotiable instruments notes scattered amonst the cobwebs. And I really need a clean environment to start classes.
Okay, I still want to know exactly what they were hoping to accomplish here. I mean, you can't really sell it. You can't really hang it above your fire place for lively cocktail conversation ("Darling, isn't that The Scream?" "Uh...no."), and you can't really take it anywhere in a carry on, so I'm thinking maybe it shouldn't have taken two years to find the damn thing. Sheesh.
GAH!!! I'm nice! I'm perky! I talk about the weather! I got $3.16 in SEVEN freakin' hours yesterday. Bartender hate.
CBS released promos for the upcoming CSI: NY premiere. *tear* They will NEVER take Smacked from me!!!! *strangled sob*
Okay, I just realized I left reality for a moment there, and it wasn't pretty. I'm gonna go watch Reba.
2 comments:
ZOMG SADDLE CLUB!
Awwww I'm sorry you don't get big tips. Boo.
Loved the fight you had with yourself re the books -- btw, I remember several of those missed movie screening!!! There were more than one or two weren't there???? Anyway, sorry you love your books - you will just need a library someday where all of your old text books can live happily ever after...I do, however, worry about your children's reading levels...they must rid themselves of the book on the way home from the last class???? Can they at least keep them through exams or is studying not allowed??? have fun!!!
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