Overheard in the union:
Guy on phone: "Dude. I did something bad. *pause* No, really bad. *pause* No, I peed on her! *longer pause* Yeah, I was wasted. *pause* No, it wasn't that bad. She had to wake me up to tell me. She slept on the floor. This morning was fine. *pause* No, trust me. We'll talk about it later. I have to go to class."
Oh. My. Lord.