Friday, October 30, 2009

I know what I'm doing, trust me.

Another pearl of wisdom from the Applying to Graduate School Files. People will try to give you advice. That you don't really care to receive.

Not even like the guy who sat in my little information meeting and droned on and on about how your forms of ID for the GRE have to match even though that's not true, in fact, I don't think they even looked at my driver's license when I took the GRE, but whatever.

I mean more like when you e-mail the secretary drone at Unnamed University asking a very simple question- do you have a form for letters of recommendation for history and religious studies, or should I just have the professors mail the letters alone?

Note that I did not ask for spiritual or academic guidance. I just need to know if your massively confusing website is holding on to a waiver that my not finding will screw up my career goals. Also, you are simply the name at the bottom of the graduate school form. You are not an advisor. You are not my advisor. Presumably if I'm intelligent enough to get through college and consider grad school, I actually sought the counsel of an advisor.

So please do not e-mail me back going, "No, there isn't a form. But why do you want to do two programs? We don't want you to fail. And why those two? What are your career goals? You'll probably fail. No one does two."

Well. Okay. I added that last part.

But still. First of all, tons of people do two master's programs at once. Second, I have nothing going on. Like, I'll be upset if I have to miss a Criminal Minds episode to go to class, but I think I'll be able to handle it. Third, I'm willing to pay you for two master's programs, so what the hell do you care? Fourth, do you have any idea how many idiots I know who have gotten master's degrees? Some two of them? TONS. So please do not tell me that I am not capable of doing a dual program, because I have yet to put up any embarrassingly drunk pictures on Facebook like these people may or may not have done.

Yes. I realize that most schools are slightly wary of accepting someone who doesn't know what they want to do. But I do know what I want to do. Marry wealthy Teach history and historical theology. Here's the thing- you need graduate degrees in both history and theology to do that! And if this person had read my statement of purpose, they would know that this is what I had planned.

And yes, I realize that it may not be the smartest thing to attempt that much work at once. But I don't know where I'm going to be accepted. Until I know where I can and can not go next year, I'm not closing any doors. You're lucky I didn't apply for kinesiology or something, lady.

Finally, Marquette offers a dual master's program. And Marquette? Is a million times more difficult than you, Unnamed University. So I do not appreciate your sass.


rockford said...

Maybe sending a copy of this blog post to Unnamed University would not, in fact, be a good idea -- you seem just a tad offeded by their more than helpful staff member..I must say though, I really enjoyed the "marry wealthy' remark because I so know that that is what you really would enjoy...Starbucks every morning and then going shopping for new clothes...maybe teach a college class or two in there, but mostly the lattes and shopping... :)

mickey said...

I wonder what the name of that unnamed U really is??? You are so smart you can do many programs at one problem....however I really could see you as a "wealthy wife"... :)