Things I Do Have:
1.) A job as a "research assistant" at UWM. Even though it involves more ordering sandwiches and less research. I think.
2.) An unnatural fondness for chocolate.
3.) Self-loathing because the last statement. It makes me sound like a wall plaque aimed at menopausal women.
4.) An ulcer. Probably.
5.) A sister who's brilliant.
6.) An art history professor who is not. Please explain to me how a 93.67% is not an A.
8.) A thesis on Vatican II to almost finish before the 25th.
Things I Do Not Have:
1.) Any guidance on how, when, or where to do this job of research assistant/overpaid sandwich girl.
2.) A paycheck from my job at research assistant/overpaid sandwich girl.
3.) Any indication that my application was received by the one school that I'm pretty sure will accept me.
4.) Any response from any graduate school department. In the world.
5.) My graded Moses Montefiore paper. That I worked so hard on. Obviously.
6.) An appropriate moisturizer to deal with the pimples.
7.) An almost finished thesis on Vatican II.
Things I Will Hopefully Have Tomorrow:
1.) Information about the research assistant/overpaid sandwich girl.
2.) Better skin.
3.) Some sort of decision from SOMEONE. Look, I don't care if it's the University of Phoenix website at this point. JUST SOMEONE ANSWER ME.
4.) My graded Moses Montefiore paper. Eagle is connected to Milwaukee through the USPS. Not the Pony Express. It's been weeks, dude.
5.) A finished thesis on Vatican II? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I kill me.