Friday, January 29, 2010

I don't know if I am Marquette, but my mom certainly is.

Hey! Want to hear another Kathleen-is-going-crazy story?

Well, I don't really care! Because I'm going crazy!

You all know that I applied to Marquette. And unless you've stopped paying attention to my increasingly fevered ramblings, you probably also know that they have not made admission decisions yet.*

You may not know that my mom actually did attend Marquette. In fact, she graduated from Marquette Law School twenty-five years ago this year! Exciting! (Or at least I assume it was. I wouldn't be born for another three years. But the pictures make it look exciting!)

This means she has a reunion this year. Very exciting. I think she should go. I mean, really. You spend three years literally killing yourself for a degree only to end up in a job that you despise?You should go to the reunion. At least get some free champagne out of it.**

This also means that she receives a piece of mail from Marquette Law School every. single. frickin. day. About very important things like are you planning on bringing your spouse/significant other/gender neutral partner/dog along with you to the reunion? And would he/she/it/Fido like a name tag?

And guess what? The Marquette insignia is REALLY BIG in the corner of the envelope. The "Law School- Sensenbrenner Hall" mark is REALLY SMALL underneath the GINORMOUS Marquette insignia.

I get the mail every day. I see the Marquette thing on a tiny little crush-your-dreams-you're-going-to-be-working-retail-for-the-rest-of-your-life envelope. I have a heart attack.

Every. Single. Frickin. Day.

Yes. I know I should have learned by this point to maybe look at who the envelope is addressed to before allowing my heart rate to increase like I'm halfway through a triathlon.*** But I would like to see you try to do that.

*They did not take this long to make undergraduate decisions. I have terrible memory, and honestly cannot remember much about four years ago when I was applying to college. But I do remember my Marquette story. I was out picking up my sister from school and I got a call from my best friend. She had just received her admissions packet. Now. A good person would have been thrilled for her best friend. A bad person would have choked out through gritted teeth, "Oh my goodness, I'm so happy for you," raced home at breakneck speed, and accosted the mail person to see if her admissions packet had arrived because if she didn't get into Marquette the world would cease spinning and she could never be friends with that person again because she would know her shame!

Guess which one I was? FYI, I got into Marquette. I stayed friends with Mary. The world continued to spin. I know, you're all thrilled.

**Although she did get to have her wedding at Gesu. I think that's worth almost anything. I will probably be turned down at Marquette and have to walk around the Biggest Baptismal Font In the World.

***BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I kill me. Actually, a triathlon probably would.


rockford said...

Sorry - maybe I should have taken the University of Dayton up on their offer...then I would be getting letters from them instead of MULS...oh, I DO hope your letter comes soon - I am beginning to be really concerned for your well-being....

Eileen said...

Every time I drive by Marquette and see the "Celebrating Women at Marquette" or whatever it is sign, I think, "Hm. Mama J is a Marquette woman" :-)

mickey said...

I knew before the end of the story that you were the bad person :):):)