ABC announced this week that it has renewed Lost for a fourth season. Said the show's writers, "Oh, crap."

Promised a real update, and I am nothing if not obsessively tied to my to-do list honest.

Not a whole lot going on. Classes started again. Ick. Yesterday wasn't so bad, because it was just a logic lecture (btw, a two hour round trip for a fifty minute class makes very little sense), but today was a four-classes-in-a-row-both-corners-of-campus day. *headdesk*

Not horrible, though, because all my big projects are finished. I just need to do a two page formal analysis of some random work of art from the museum. The hardest part of that will be finding time to get to the museum.

Sooo...anything else going on? Finished Robin Hood Princeof Thieves. It was quite amusing---especially when Imladris walked in and said, "Yeah. When you marry him, you're going ot have to make him shave." Teehee. Also, Mary Elizabeth Mastriantonio was going through menopause circa 1991, and was most definitely not "maid" Marian. *sniff*

I applied for a passport today, and the woman was going over the form and she's like,

"Wow, that's a really long name."
I just kind of smile and go, "Yeah."
"No, really. That's really long. How do you say that? Look, even your birth certificate it cuts out the second one!"
"Heh, yeah, I know...it's my birth certificate."
"And on your drivers license they just do the initials and STILL needthe second line!"
"Again. My drivers license. I know."
"And 9/11 birthday. Wow. That's no fun."
"Uh, no, 14 kind of sucked."
"And never been married? Oh, that's good. You're too young."
"Um..."
"Of course, you'd have to find someone with a shorter name!!!"

I was ready to grab her by the lapel and demand that she just sign the damn form and let me go. Gah.



Children of Men released today---whee!!! Sending Daddy out to get me a copy. I didn't feel like going into another store. I'm such a lazy person.

Awww. I'm crying on the inside.

And the string of updates-without-context continues...

1. Can you cook? Um. Pasta. And tiramisu. That's about it.
2. What was your dream growing up? To breed racehorses. Heh. That didn't work so well.
3. What talent do you wish you had? I'd like to be able to sing.
4. Favorite place? In the world? I'm not sure. Williamsburg, maybe. But only if it's not too hot.
5. Favorite vegetable? Broccoli. I put it in everything.
6. What was the last book you read? The Post-Birthday World, by Lionel Shriver
7. What zodiac sign are you? Virgo
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Maybe...aw, hell, I can't even pretend to be bad. *sigh* None.
9. Worst Habit? Correcting other people's grammar. It must get really annoying. When I was whining about not knowing what to do with my life once at work, this guy I was working with was like, "You should be a writer. You correct my grammar". I felt kind of badly.
10. What is your favorite sport? Ha. You're funny.
11. Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude? Negative. Definitely, hopelessly negative.
12. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Wait. Who is this "me" we're talking about? I stole this from somebody's blog.
13. Worst thing to ever happen to you? For a girl who spends most of her week in an oncologist's office, it may sound incongruous, but probably missing the Josh concert for the Blizzard that Wasn't.
14. Tell me one weird fact about you. Oh please. I think you know everything already.
15. Do you have any pets? Yes.
16. Do you know how to do the Macarena? Of course. I am a white person, and we do love to dance in formation.
17. What time is it where you are now? 6:01 p.m.
18. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Terrifying.
19. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? Yeah. I have no self-esteem. This could take all day.
20. Would you be my partner in crime or my conscience? Seriously---who is this "me"???
21. What color eyes do you have? Blue. Also, I'm five five, 130 lbs, and have blond hair. At least that's what the state of Wisconsin thinks.
22. Ever been arrested? No. We established above that I cannot be bad.
23. Bottle or Draft? Too many calories. Go with vodka, more bang for your calorie buck.
24. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Pay off the rest of my college education.
25. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? Eww.
26. What's your favorite bar to hang at? My friends all come from alcoholic backgrounds, so we don't hang out at bars a lot. Maybe I need new friends.
27. Do you believe in ghosts? Sorta.
28. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Watch mindless TV on VH1
29. Do you swear a lot? Why? What have you heard?
30. Biggest pet peeve? When people confuse "good" and "well". And "done" and "finished". And "I" and "me". Gosh. NO wonder people don't like me.
31. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Well, this is a disturbingly narcissistic question.

Okay. Real update tomorrow.

A funny conversation at work.

Taking place in front of the display of Bond on Set books.

Boss 1: Did you see that?

Me: Yes. HeIt was amazing. Fantastic. Beautiful. Possibly worth buying the DVD.

Boss 2: Oh. It's worth it. Believe me. Wasn't he amazing?

Me: Yes. Yes.

Boss 2: You're blushing.

Me: I KNOW!!!

Boss 1: That shower scene? *pretends to smoke a cigarette*

Yeah. We accomplished a lot today.

I feel like I've given birth.

But instead of a cute new baby, I got a cute new bibliographies. Of which I am infinitely proud of and am thinking of carrying around photos to show the neighbors.

I'm going to go eat. Real update later.

Phone-five!!!

Taking a break from all the black death goodness to update. (Sidebar: People were stupid in 1350. Corrupted air? Pssh.) Gotta love laptops---they allow you to appear to be a presence in the living room thus being a good granddaughter, but blog and stalk all at the same time. Lovely invention, really.



Very. Very. Tired. Had to squire her majesty to school at a freaking early hour this morning, and theoretically could have gone back to bed, but I'm the only teenager who can't sleep after I've been awake for longer than twenty minutes. I also can't nap. I tell myself I'll take a nap to get out of bed in the morning when I'm absolutely exhausted, but I never actually do. That's a whole other post, though.

So I sat in bed and watched Lost instead---ooh, love the crazy goodness. I hate that I love Lost so much. *sigh* LOCKE'S DAD WHAT HOW???



Spent the rest of the morning drinking coffee and watching Will and Grace. It was the last season, too, when they really pulled it together and got funny again.

Oh, and magic-erasered the floor (yes, it can be a verb). It was one of my way-too-busy-during-school-but-it's-spring-break-and-I-don't-have-a-life projects, like polishing the silver and washing the hurricane glasses on the chandelier. All of which are now accomplished. That's right. I rawk.

Actually have been doing a surprising amount of stuff for someone like me with no social life. Went out to lunch with Mary on Wednesday, was supposed to see a movie with Kate at night, but she forgot the time (???) and then eventually had lunch with her yesterday.

Interesting. Very interesting. Rarely have I ever been asked "Is your salad good?" and "Will you perjure yourself for me?" in the same breath. But hey, I guess perjury is just one of those things that the maid of honor has to take care of---like watching the flowers, planning the shower, and lying to the United States government...

I really need more friends. Fifty percent of them just decided to go to war.

Icon courtesy of some internet person, but taken from Colleen's reason for living. Teehee.

Only one item to comment on today---

Warmest winter on record.. Oh. Please. I have an empty bottle of bourbon and a pile of tissues that begs to differ.

Morris! Breath check!

Ah, spring break. I have done exactly one paragraph more of my plague paper, put some papers over my art history notebook that I'm ostensibly supposed to be studying so that it doesn't bug me, and watched far too much TV for a twenty-four hour period.

Also, I've watched the POTC 3 HD trailer approximately 544 times. (Hint: Blow it up to full screen and watch it on a 17" monitor---*is dead*) ALso, some commentary courtesy of the folks over at EW.com...WHAT NO YOU DO NOT COMPARE JOHNNY TO MR. COLLINS THEY ARE BARELY THE SAME SPECIES GAH STUPID PEOPLES YOU DO NOT DESERVE THE PIRATEY GOODNESS.

*ahem*

HIMYM was new last night. *squee* I finally figured out that Hot TA kind of reminds me of Ted. It's not that they look a lot a like, but he reminds me of him. I miss Hot TA. It just makes the whole semester better. *sigh* Maybe I could switch my major to psychology. It's not like I'm married to this journalism thing, after all.

Today's Spring Break Movie? Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, a terribly acted, gut-wrenchingly awful movie starring Kevin Costner as a *snicker* British dude, but made up for by the fact that the Esteemed Mr. Rickman plays the Sheriff of Nottingham.

I had to see it again, as I almost bit through my tongue trying to stop from laughing when it was cited in an example paper we had to look at for history last week. You cannot cover up a fit of giggles if you are one of five people in the room. Impossible.

Well, I'm off to lunch with the Lovely Mary to plan our Find Me A Husband So That I Can Have Adorable British Babies Like In The Holiday Trip (at least that's what I'm calling it, I'm assuming she's not thinking the same thing, as that would be weird). Ciao.

Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

Disclaimer: It's actually Sunday, March 18. But I'm too lazy to start a whole new post.

Imladris' much requested update. Except I have very little original thought right now. So today will be composed mainly of links, which do the talking for me.

Quick school update: it's spring break!!! Whee!!! I'm going to hibernate and plan my sojourn to the Next-To-Motherland. *squee* Also, I think I deserve this, after being one of only five students in both my discussions on Friday. Do you know how much you have to talk in a history discussion when there are only four other people? A lot. Every fifth question, in fact. Which is exceedingly tiring, as Henry I and Henry II and Harold and Harald and some random Edward all get VERY CONFUSING before nine a.m. *sigh* Until three minutes to eight, it was just Mary and I and this other guy and the TA. Really awkward.

Logic was wicked boring, too, because the people who show up don't really need any help because, well, we're responsible and smart and show up. So it was like...um...yeah...no questions? Oookay... Except I was totally proud of myself, because I solved this wicked hard proof that was slowly killing me- ha! You just used addition and conditional exchange. That's right. I rawk.

I'm going to stop being a dork now.

Okay, maybe not quite yet. I'm rereading Alison Weir's (OMG MY SECOND FAVORITE AUTHOR OF ALL TIME AFTER CAROLLY ERICKSON AND MAYBE ANTONIA FRASER. What is my history geek showing?) biography of Eleanor of Aquitaine, and it's totally kicking ass. Because as much as I whine about history, I love this stuff.

Because her whole first marriage is like every road trip movie where a husband and wife go on vacation and end up breaking up because they cannot stand that much of each other. Like a medieval Just Married, but they went on a crusade instead of a honeymoon. I can picture Eleanor going,

"God, Louis, you are so bad at this capture thing. Would it KILL you to ransom of a couple of the Muslims instead of just slaughtering them? This is a freaking HOLY WAR, after all. I am REALLY SICK OF CLEANING THE INFIDEL BLOOD OFF THE FLOOR!!! Come on, be a man!!!"

"Yeah, well, SWEETHEART, maybe if you would let me hang out with the guys occasionaly instead of SCREWING THEM ALL YOU WHORE, then I wouldn't feel like I had to kill the Muslims. Maybe I'd feel more like a man if you'd give me a FREAKING SON!!!"

"HEY! NOT MY FAULT. In five hundred years you are going to feel SO STUPID, jackass. I'm richer than you, btw."

"OMG, you take that back!!!"

"No. You know what? I'm renting a litter and riding home alone. And I don't every want to see you again, got it, ass****???"

"Pssh. Whatever. I'll get the Pope to say we're related. *sticks out tongue*

So, in keeping with the royal theme, I give you the greatest website ever The Tudors Official Site. I beg of you, go watch the intro, and then giggle at the fact that the final shot is Henry surrounded by headless women. Teehee.

I officially want to marry this miniseries. I am contemplating stopping random people on the road to see if they have Showtime and will they adopt me by next Sunday please I do my own laundry?

Also, Thomas More is kind of hot. (Colleen: "Duuude...did you see Emma? Awesome. Wait. Wasn't Thomas More a saint. Ooh. Awkward.") I don't care. I already have a deep-seated and deathy disturbing crush on anyone who looks like the Western representation of Christ, so why not add a couple of the saints in there too?

Some of the officially great YouTube videos:

The four-minute trailer. *squee*

And the Evanescence Lacrymosa trailer. I kind of love this trailer.

I'm also kind of loving how all the people on the internets are all, "OMG, the sleeves are TOTALLY the wrong era, that particular cut didn't come in fashion until Spring of 1654...", which is obviously completely NOT what the miniseries is about. They have the ax-murdering soccer coach playing Henry VII, for heavens sakes. Historical accuracy was NOT what they were going for.

And frankly, I think that the marriage of the network that can show anything and the dynasty that did everything is long overdue.

Also obsessing over this bright sunny morning? The Russian POTC 3 trailer. I have put my extensive yes-I-took-Russian-for-three-days knowledge to work, and while I don't understand what the hell is going on, I do know that I want to marry this trailer, possibly before The Tudors.

I'm contemplating actually watching Dancing with the Stars tommorow. That's how much I want to know what they're saying.

Well, I have now received death threats from both of my siblings if I don't immediately vacate the den, so I'm going to go watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail because no one will watch it with me. *sigh* Have a good Sunday, blog kitties.

All medieval history, all the time.

This will be the Morena Whining Hour. Thank you for tuning in.

I am so freaking sick of anything that happened before 1975. I had a black death dream last night. *headdesk*

Major fun reading primary sources this afternoon, y'all. First up, we had the Magna Carta. The whole thing. And let me tell, if you are looking for a fun way to kill an afternoon, five pages of teensy print about feudal society is CLEARLY the way to go. Wow, there was no opportunity to marry up in 1215. As someone who aspires to a non-morganatic marriage to some member of some aristocracy, this was particularly horrifying to me.

Also read a letter in which we discover that Peter of Blois (Yeah, I don't know either. Some dude, I guess.) has a MAJOR man-crush on Henry II. I do so love medieval closeted gayness.

Finished up with some random source about Eleanor of Aquitaine, in which the Archbishop of Rouen writes,

Dear Eleanor,

OMG, stop being such a whore, you will kill us all. Plzkthks.

Love,

The Archbishop

Of course, they managed to stretch it out for three typed pages. Good lord were they wordy in the twelfth century. *headdesk*

Oooh, more good grade news---I got a 98 on my art history exam. Snaps for me!!! *avoids third headdesk in as many minutes*

I really have nothing else to add today, except that Angelina's adopting another one in a desperate attempt to never ever ever have to hold Shiloh.

Oh, and Tori Spelling had a baby. I don't like Tori Spelling, and perhaps the funniest thing I've heard all week was my mom, the grounded matron who is so far removed from popular culture that she has to be told repeatedly that Brad Pitt is considered attractive, who said upon hearing the joyous news, "Pssh. Homewrecker." Teehee.

Going to go pretend I'm a nun and describe disgusting swellings of the groin (Okay, that sounded way dirtier than I wanted it to...) for six pages. And then go curl up in a corner and die. Ciao.

It is 7:00, and it's still light and I can't eat and I AM NOT AMUSED.

*grumbles*

I refuse to eat until it gets dark.

I'd also like to watch How I Met Your Mother, but New/Old Christine is on instead. I like New/Old Christine, but not as much as I like How I Met Your Mother.

Going to go stare at the horizon in a completely non-existential way in an attempt to make it dark.

Oh. My God. I got a D on my midterm and now my parents won't love me anymore.

That has nothing to do with me (I got an A- *and the villagers rejoice*), but rather what my TA told us people say when they get really bad grades and why he has a You-Cannot-Email-Me-For-24-Hours-To-Discuss-Your-Grade policy, presumably to let all the crazies calm down and discover their own self-worth outside of History 204.

I found this quite amusing, because if you add "And I'm going to die alone" to the end, it's kind of like my mantra for living. Really. From those time tests in first grade (I was convinced that if I didn't answer all those questions in the three minutes they gave me I would be sent to an orphanage.) right up through the ACT (OMG I WON'T GET INTO COLLEGE AND MY PARENTS ARE REALLY SMART AND WHAT AM I GOING TO DO I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE BECAUSE NO ONE LOVES A STUPID PERSON GAH!!!!!!!), I have been a catastrophiser from day one.

Also got an ambiguous but still very good grade on logic test (We get a grade scale on Monday, until then apparently we have no actual value. Which is very existential if you think about it. What does {insert grade here} really mean?), and those supposedly suicide-inducing proof thingys? Um. Really easy. So I'm doing okay and convinced that my parents will love me until finals at least.

It has come to my attention that many different members of my family would like to take to the road in the pursuit of some hyped up Kerouac-esqe dream, (along with the far more disturbing thought that my little sister wants to name her first-born Skeet), and I feel compelled to give them a little talking to.

1.) No.

2.) We are not traveling people. Remember our trip to New York three years ago? No. Didn't think so. Because it DIDN'T HAPPEN.

3.) We have never been a traveling people. I'm very sure that if our ancestors hadn't been lured from the motherland with promises of something other than potatoes, they would have sat on their asses in Sligo for generations and I'd have a pretty accent now and people wouldn't always be going, "Wow. You're really pale."

4.) Just no.

We shall deal with the whole Skeet issue another day. But believe me, it shall be dealt with before I have to stand in front a priest and pledge to uphold the moral health of something named Skeet.

I have also been informed that there will be green-drinking a plenty on Sunday evening, something I'm always thrilled with at the end of along week. Along with green food. I'm not sure how it will be green, and I'm really hoping that Mickey remembers that some of us have compromised immune systems, but I'm sure it will be tasty.

Other people's lives that are clearly more interesting than mine---

It just gets better and better. I cannot tell you How. Much. I. Love. This. Story. It made my ENTIRE year.

You could have had adorable little Edward Norton babies (imagine how cute!!!), and you chose this instead. Some people are too stupid to reproduce.

Not awkward, guys. Not awkward if we don't let it be awkward.

Her royal highness' majesty's long-awaited update. If only so I don't have to listen to her whine that I didn't manage a post in the approximately twelve minutes I was home today between driving two sets of people to and from the exact same place. *sigh*

On the educational front, the month of midterms is almost over, save for astronomy which I'm probably going to have to drop anyway so why waste any more time worrying about it?

I totally kicked the history midterm's ass, too, even with migraine and risking-my-life part. Ha. So proud.

Now just a bunch of papres. JMC is another article critique, and history is a five-page story/academic paper (wha...???) about the black death in Paris. I'm a nun, and I have to write about working at the Hotel Dieu. (Wanna know how stupid I am? When I first read it I was like, "Wait. Why am I at a hotel during a plague?" Then I realized that it was French for hospital. Heh. Nice to see all that last semester really paid off.)

Also, have to use primary sources, and the university library. Boooo!!! Poor form. The library smells funny, and I don't like going in there.

We have been explicitly told that Wikipedia is NOT a source for an academic paper. *sigh* Whatever.

I'm actually not too worried about it, because it's only five pages, and the professor actually gives you some primary sources on her website, but Mary looks at this as though she's been sentenced to death and is now awaiting her beheading in the Tower. (This morning: "It's looming. It's just out there. I can't take it.") She needs to calm down.

Some random items:

Have decided to get my passport. I don't have any plans or any money, but I don't care. I want a passport.

Had a temporary disenchantment with my beloved this afternoon when I realized that the oil for the car door which was inexplicably on the top of the washer (Why? I have no idea.) had fallen over because the new one shakes a lot more during the spin cycle, and had leaked underneath the shelving unit and was seeping out.

Had to move the shelving unit, and use Simple Green to wipe it all up. I was not pleased.

*Begin Timely Rant*

Also something I'm not pleased with? The Empress. Who seems to feel that all the work she does around here, such as feeding herself and...um...bathing herself...? is more than enough, and when somebody rings the doorbell, there is no reason for her to rise from the couch and answer the door, because she is "watching something". Now, I'm not claiming to be doing anything terribly earth-shatteringly important here, but she is actually closer, and TV about equals blogging in terms of imporance.

*End Timely Rant*

I am unhappy with my blogger page-not the blog, but the actual webpage. I can't find a good template, and I can't come up with a fun title. *sigh* I'm thinking of checking my LiveJournal and seeing how difficult it would be to start using that. Plus, it has the infinately amusing LJ cut, which Blogger does not use. *tear*

Some links:

Damn. He loves that scarf, doesn't he?

*squee* A release date. Whee!!!

I'm gonna go...not sure. But I'm sure it'll be boring. :D

Those were the days, my friend.

Okay, so I was totally going to do a post about something not PBS-related, and perhaps more related to how God is trying to smite me with weather plagues of biblical proportions, but I totally can't do that now.

Because I checked EW popwatch blog, and found *gasp* the "making orange crayons" song.

Remember that?

I actually thought it was from Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, but whatever. Anyhoodles, it made me slightly nostalgic for childhood. Not terribly fun here in the almost-real world.

So, thanks to the benefits of the Exalted YouTube, I found all these old Sesame Street things that I totally remember!!! I'm so happy!!!

Okay. In retrospect, this is actually quite freaky.

I totally didn't know that was Tony Danza.

Or, as it was known in our house, C is for Colleen. Even as a mere heiress to the throne, the Empress knew how important she was.

This kid's approaching forty now.

My grandfather was so deeply amused by this. I'm not sure why.

GAH!! SOMEBODY COME AND PLAY!!!!The monkey freaked me out.

I thought the thingy at the beginning being hatched was a little bit nasty.

This made me freakishly hungry. Hmm. And I wonder why I've always had a twisted relationship with food.

And finally, a little crossover glory.