I called the Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania.

Note: It's actually Tuesday, July 24. I am officially too lazy to start a new post. Marvel at my utter lack of ambition.

We pick up again today where I left off on Saturday, with a brief (I promise) ETA: Okay. I just reread this. It's freakishly long discussion of my favorite chapter in Harry Potter Or Maybe Any Book Ever, the one with the Snevans goodness. Because I am *nothing* if not a crazed, YouTube video-watching fangirl at heart. Oh, and maybe a little about the whole good/evil thing in general.

And, oh yeah, I called it. That's right.

Also, I've actually been to bed, and am now capable of forming sentences slightly more complex than "Harry lives. Yay." Give me a little credit, though. I think the previous blog post came somewhere between the being scared of my own reflection (I look like SHIT after being up all night, let me tell you.) and the shower that did remarkably little to better my appearance.

I'm just saying.

So Mickey and Rockford and probably Colleen because she's got to be sick of me talking about this by now can just skip this part, mmkay???

Overall, I was happy with it. I'm about two hundred pages into a leisurely reread, and it's not spectacular prose by any means, but it's very engrossing. The only two parts I am having trouble understanding (along with everybody else at work, because this is pretty much all we've talked about since this weekend) are the "baby" thing in the Harry's-Not-Really-Dead-Land and the rock. I don't get the rock. In fact, the entire Deathly Hallows thing (except the wand) is slightly confusing.

I only would have changed two things- Snape would have died in a better way (avenging Lily or protecting Harry perhaps?), and there would have been something about what the characters did between the last page and the epilogue. (Yes, it was corny, but adorable. Shut up, I'm a girl.) At 754 pages, could you have told us if Neville marries anyone??? I think so.


I guess it was a bloodbath, in terms of people being killed, but they were mostly peripheral characters that I had no emotional connection to. The fact that Tonks and Lupin died, for no good reason other than to make Harry a godfather (*wailing "Circle of Life" off-key*) was pretty depressing, but their deaths weren't really even written. They were kind of just listed at the end. Oh, and Putin Dobby was sad. But Fred was really the only one I was upset about.

At least until Snape.

Snape undid me. I was waiting, like six hundred pages, kind of skimming over battle crap, and going, "No. Seriously. I pimped stickers at work for SIX FREAKING MONTHS. He HAS TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER!!!"

(I knew the patronus was his, I just didn't realize that it was because it was Lily's *aww*.)

But then they get to the part where he dies, and I immediately dress in black get all emotional, especially the part where he asks Harry to look at him. And I knew. I totally knew it was going to happen. Because they've been shoving the "Oh, they're your mothers eyes" down our throats for ten freaking years, and this is totally why!!!

I was right. The memories part---Oh. My. God. The best part of the whole freaking book. I actually read it like twice, because I was convinced that maybe I fell asleep and was dreaming or something, because this it TOTALLY WHAT I WANTED TO HAPPEN!!!

So. So. Much.

Poor little Snape---I kind of just wanted to hug him (and I promise, that wasn't a euphemism for anything), and then when he goes to Dumbledore to protect her? And when she dies and he's just destroyed??? And when Dumbledore tells him that Harry has to die, and he's all "No! This was all supposed to be to protect him!", I was CRYING!!!

But my favorite memory was when he took the letter with her signature. THEY HAD BETTER FREAKING HAVE THAT IN THE MOVIE. I may be compelled to throw myself at the screen.

I'm just warning y'all that may be attending with me, it's gonna get pretty embarrassing in 2010.

See??? SEE??? Teasing you get over! Calling the girl you adore the wizard equivalent of a whore, not so much apparently.

Now I'm going to go watch all the movies again and analyze subtext.


Oh, and the producers really screwed themselves over by taking Lily out of the Snape's worst memory scene from OotP, because it turns out *that* was the worst memory. Ha!

Fin with the Harry debate. At least until I think of something else.

Ooh, oooh, like this!!! Was Dumbledore totally an ass???



But wait- we're not done with Alan!!! I bought Perfume today, and holy mother that's an orgy at the end. Yep. Between the really graphic murdering/embalming parts (ewww...) and that whole thing, it took me about an hour to get through the whole movie.

Totally worth it though. He was lovely.


I'm rather tired. Got up at six to squire Mommy Dearest to the doctor. And then sat at the doctor for a long time. During which a doctor thought I was a business associate (long story, there were other guys in the waiting room), which I found terribly amusing. I wonder if it was the fact that I was wearing jeans and sandals, drinking a latte, or listing to an iPod that tipped him off. Teehee.

Then I went to Target in my first attempt to find Perfume, and also found a lovely eight-dollar handbag. Yay.

Yep. It's pretty exciting.

There are flies all over. And they shall feel my wrath.