Are they really going to build them a house?

I worked last night. In books. Jason came up to me and was like, "Wow, it's really weird to see you in real clothes!"


Great. Now when people think of me, they think horrible black polo shirt-ness. Awesome. I needed help in the "make me more unattractive" department.

And then I had to sign a contractual agreement saying "OMG YOU WILL NOT TOUCH, BREATH ON, LOOK AT, OR BLINK WITHIN TWENTY-FIVE YARDS OF THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS OR WE WILL SUE YOUR ASS OFF AND STEAL YOUR CHILDREN AND YOU WILL NEVER WORK AGAIN OMG". Yes. That was the legal language present in the document. I found it quite amusing.

Went out for coffee at Smith Bros. with Mom and Colleen and had an existential career crisis. Again. That happens a lot there. But this time I had good reason. I discovered another person at work holds a masters degree. MASTERS. I'm going to die alone, poor, and grossly overqualified to work at Seattle's Best.

I'm going to go drown my sorrows in DVDs. Ciao, bella.

Oh, crap. I've turned into a Harry Potter fangirl.

NO! I swore it wouldn't happen to me! I was different! I had never read the books! I was above it all! And then I listened to a bunch of stupid people at work and read them and THEY'RE SO GOOD!!! I read five hundred pages of Goblet of Fire last night! FIVE HUNDRED I TELL YOU! And then got up to read a huge chunk of Order of the Phoenix. Gah.

And the self-loathing should be arriving...right...now...

*bangs head against the table*

Iconage today courtesy of Colleen, who sent me a wonderful link. The message accompanying this one was "16 is my personal fav. Sexay. I love a nice wig."

This is from Perfume, which is nowhere to be found this side of the Atlantic. And dammit, I am not amused.

Meanwhile, Canadian Amazon has the Snowcake DVD that is also not available in the US. I wants. I wants so much.

I can't come close to the Empress' post about the Spice Girls reunion, but dammit, I am THERE. *hums if you wanna be my lover..."

I should go clean something. I have to work this afternoon, and I'm not too terribly please about that, since John Krasinski is hosting the Office marathon and OMG I LOVES HIM SO MUCH!!! He's cute, but I'm actually not attracted to him, but I would TOTALLY MARRY HIM just so I could be Jim's wife. Yes, I realize I'm a little crazy.

Cooking by Cell Phone

Our egg timer broke, so I developed a rather ingenious (if I do say so myself) alternative and used my cell phone as the timer. I am truly a child of the new millennium.

And things turned out remarkably well. Cookies and cake, oh my. Lovely.

Perhaps I should go eat some of it, because all I've had today is coffee. And more coffee. And now I'm kind of bouncing around. I technically had a lunch break, but they made me take it at eleven, like twenty minutes after I go there. I was not amused.

And certainly not hungry. So I drank my iced latte and laughed as Aaron came out to talk to me every ten minutes like we're supposed to do with real customers, except I was the only one there. That was amusing.

But now I'm really wired. It's okay. I've been feeling bloated lately, so a day without eating might make me feel better.

Work was okay. Not great, but not horrible, either. I am in love with the espresso machine, which does everything but pay for the drink. After the hissing, steaming monster we had before, this is AMAZING. Have to work on the 4th, though, even though I asked off a long time ago. Why do they always ignore my requests off??? I could put up a stink and not show up, but I feel badly because I have to be gone for most of August, anyway. It's only four hours, I'll just miss the parade, which I'm generally not too fond of anyway.

Then I can go drink. *sigh*
Been reading. Duh. That's kind of all I do.

Afternoons with Emily, by Rose MacMurrey, was quite good. Emily Dickinson as a crazy. Fun.

And A Might Heart was AMAZING, if tragic and sad (obviously). But ultimately uplifting, if that is at all possible. I'm going to go see the movie now- I really hope it's as good.

Totally changing the subject, I have tickets for the 12:01 showing of Harry Potter Whatever-Number-They're-On-Now-I-Don't-Care- whee!!! I do so love midnight showings. The crazies come out and it's just a damn good time! Going with kind of a large group, but it's only two families, which makes it nice and not too many people. So looking forward to Snape, did you know he lives in a dungeon? the movie.

Some links:

WHAT? NO! YOU FREAKING HAD YOUR FREAKING CHANCE BITCH!!! Well what am I going to do now?

Brand-New Elizabeth: The Golden Age trailer. I've watched it like six times. I adore it. I can't wait until October. I love me some royal sagas. And OMG CLIVE OWEN SO HOT!!!!!!!! *ahem*

Also, Geoffrey Rush and Tom Hollander. All my POTC friends!!! Johnny should swing by.

Meet The Pod

How lovely. It's beautiful, isn't it???

I'm not sure what's in it. Perhaps the black/blue/white/wicker/pink with purple dots/back to black furniture for Mickey's prospective morning room? I lost track after the sixteenth color change.

Yes, folks, call that number and you too could have your very own massively large storage device in the middle of your driveway. You know, with the BOAT and THREE CARS. Something's gonna crash before this is over. I just know it.

Good lord I love that movie. And not just because Mr. Darcy is teh hawt, because he's kind of arrogant looking (shut up, I know Mr. Darcy is supposed to be arrogant because he's *duh* Mr. Darcy, but this is different). I think I'll have to dig out the DVD soon.

I was off today (*whee*), surprising as they seem to have taken the whole "Um. Yeah. Fifteen hours tops," to mean "Of course I can work full time without being salaried. Why not?", and it's starting to bug me. Maybe after Harry Potter gets released I can cut back. Because I'm pretty sure without Harry dear we'd be out of business.

I used my time off to run important errands like returning clothes and buying spray bathroom cleaner and Advil Cold and Sinus (I can no longer move my eyes because my headaches are so bad). I know you're all exceedingly jealous. Yes, my life is pretty glamorous, but remember, I'm just like you.

Now I feel like baking something. I shall be making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin bread. Look for an update on what is sure to be a hilariously inept attempt at domesticity tomorrow. :D

Apparently the plumber is coming. And I have been left alone to tend to him. Nasty. I hate letting workers in. They bug me. I'm convinced they're going to steal. And then they'll ask something that I should totally know, like is your basement drywalled? and I get so confused by anything that isn't a book or a movie that I'll be all, "What? I don't know...." *sigh*

Randomness During My First Weekend Off In Long, Long Time

Good moring, all. It's nine-thirty on Sunday morning, when I'm usually asleep, at Mass, or at work. But I had to get up to drive Colleen to work, I went to Mass last night so I could drive Colleen to work, and frankly they don't want to pay me any more after the full-time week I put in last week.

I don't know what to do on Sunday mornings. I'm all alone here, and there's nothing to do. I could clean. My house is filthy because of the full-time week put in last week, and there's some serious laundryage up the chute. Or I could blog. Yep. Definitely blog.

Today will be rather random, mostly because I'm working on about five hours of sleep and a venti iced latte from Starbucks. *Suspend disbelief here for a moment, because I do, after all, work at a coffee shop. A subsidiary of Starbucks, even* Seriously. $4.07 for a coffee??? It's two shots of espresso and milk. Gah.

But I was feeling entitled after driving to and back from Cedarburg twice, once with an apron. Hey, I'm just happy I didn't get a ticket, because I'm almost positive that I parked in a non-parking zone. Whatever. The hair was working and wearing a boob shirt. I could have gotten out of it.

Random Section #1- Music. I know, right? I don't like music. But I have like three things I want to hit on. Well, not "hit on" in the "How you doin'?" sense, but rather discuss.

First, mostly directed at those who share my computor, who downloaded Hey There Delilah? Because I seriously need to talk to them about how much I love Plain White T's. Have you heard All That We Needed??? You should. It's amazing.

Also downloaded Umbrella, the unofficial song of summer '07. And if I could find the live sans Jay-Z version I think I'd like it much more. Thankfully it's just the first thirty seconds. I flippin' love Rihanna. She's about as close to something other than white-bread pop that I enjoy.

And Kelly Clarkson's new I'm Angry At My Management See Look At My Angry Dark Cover Pose? album comes out on Tuesday, which I think I'll buy because I'm such a dork I like everything she sings. No, really. Behind Your Hazel Eyes was the ONLY song I listened to the ENTIRE way to Ohio two summers ago.



Speaking of Ohio, apparently we have vacation plans there for this summer or fall. I don't know anything more that that, though, because my father got all weird and refused to tell me anything else about it. This was our conversation.

Me: Well, I need to know about Galena because I have to ask off.
Dad: I know, but we were also going to go to Ohio.
Me: What? Why? Where? Why Ohio?
Dad: Your mother wants to go.
Me: Why? There's nothing in Ohio! What did she say?
Dad: I don't know! I don't owe you and explanation!
Colleen: Um, yeah, when you're asking us to take off of work and leave the state with you, you kind of do!
Dad: I haven't asked you guys!
Colleen: What!?!? I'm a child! You have to take me.
Me: No. Really. Why Ohio? The clinic? Fond memories?
Dad: Go talk to your mother.

See??? He gets really weird.

Also, I kind of completely forgot that we have a relative in Ohio. *shame*



Finished the freakishly long training week on Friday-whee! And got free food! I only had to buy lunch on day last week. And my sensitive gastointestinal system has calmed down after basically being hooked up to a caffeine drip for the past week. I can sleep and not throw up again! Yay!!!

Have to work at the actual cafe on Monday, though, which should be massive amounts of scariness, because it's me and Music Guy, who have like a negative idea of what to do. Except he's cute and I'm good at sucking up. So customer service should be handled well.

Being at work all week last week really cut into my preferred method of passing summer, though: sitting alone and reading. I did finish Nineteen Minutes, Jodi Picoult's latest. It was really good, and really disturbing, but not in poor taste because it was published three weeks before the whole Virginia Tech thing. Still. And I haven't read any of her other stuff, so I didn't see the apparently trademarked twist at the end, and was pleasantly surprised. So very good.

And got a Harry Potter in there, too. They're actually kind of good. And at least I can picture Alan doing all the Snape parts, because God knows the producers don't give him enough to do in the movies.

Although he was featured in Entertainment Weekly's 100 issue! YAY!!! Colleen had plenty of snarky comments about that. *sniff*

Some stolen stories that I must comment on:

Jane Austen Book Club movie stills. I'm really looking forward to this movie, because I ADORED! the book, but they screwed up the ages. Who the hell is Hugh Dancy playing?? Oh, Grigg. Wasn't he way older. *sigh*

KATE AND LEO!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! PLEASE GET MARRIED AND ONLY ACT WITH EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry, was my Titanic-fangirl showing?

God, this is going to suck SO MUCH. But you know I'll be there opening weekend, with all the other losers.

YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, BITCH!!! HANDS OFF!!! What the hell am I going to do with my useless background in history if she marries him!?!?!?

Aww, crap. I was really hoping they'd find her alive, even if the whole "Mommy's in rug" thing wasn't too hopeful. This sounds horrible, especially now that she's dead, but what was she doing with that guy? She was beautiful, and had a lovely house, had a mother who must have been kind of in her life because she was the one who made the 911 call, and she was sleeping with a married unattractive guy who clearly killed her. *sigh*

Meanwhile, I've decided that having children is much too risky, because chances are the dad will kill you. And I'm so paranoid, I'll think my husband is trying to get me. I swear, he's going to wake up one morning and I'll be doing the "I'm on you" eyes. Yeah. We're gonna be happy. :D

Would you like to hear today's specials? Not if you'd like to keep your spleen.

So I haul myself into the back room this morning at some ungodly hour after being up ALL FREAKING NIGHT (to be discussed), all decked out in my regulation tight blackness (not sexy tight blackness, but rather utilitarian-food-service-is-my-life tight blackness). And Aaron goes, "Look in your mailbox. I got you a present." I finally focused my eyes, and saw, in all it's uncut glory, a DVD of American Psycho. "I got you almost-naked Christian Bale!!!"

And my day got So. Much. Better.

I'm pretty sure that violated some sexual harassment law. I don't care. Especially since there rest of the day included such comments by various people (not me), such as "Why do only the women remember to bleed (the steamer wand)???" and "Come on, slap it like...oh wait, I can't finish that," (It was about a drink. I swear.), made in completely non-offensive ways.

The reason I was not my normal bright-eyed, cheerful self this morning (*heh*)? Yesterday was tasting day. We made all the amazingly good cold coffee drinks, and all the sandwiches, and then ate and drank them all. Except that the full-fat espresso beverages outweighed the solid food about six to one.

I was so unbelievably sick by the time I got home. I tried eating some potatoes or something starchy, but it totally did not help.

And with all the caffeine and nausea, sleep was simply not going to happen. It was really hot. So I opened the windows and turned on the fan. Which did nothing. I thrashed about in the heat for about three hours, until I finally tore all the covers off at about one. By this time, the fact that there was hot air coursing through the upper levels of my bedroom without any of it actually hitting me had scared up a ton of dust and allergens and I could barely breath I was sneezing so much. After an hour, that was starting to bug me, so I got up and remade the bed. And thrashed for another two hours. Still sneezing. And then gave up and read until four thirty, when I finally fell asleep only to be reawakened rudely by my alarm scarcely two hours later. Still sick. And sneezing. So I took Benadryl. Oh God bad idea when you have to go to work.

Today I was much smarter. I refused to sample anything and ate a normal lunch. I still feel sick to my stomach, but at least I'm not bouncing off the walls.

Meanwhile, Nineteen Minutes, the book I was reading in the pre-dawn hours, was excellent.

Not as good as Love Walked In, the book I just finished reading. Absolutely brilliant. Everyone should go read it. It referenced The Philadelphia Story and Rebecca. Very hard to do. It is my squishy.

Next up are the Harry Potter books, which I've been told by six different people at work that OMG YOU MUST READ!!! So I'm reading. Ten years late, but what the hell.

So that's what he's doing after he finishes training us.

Oh boo hoo. You're Catherine Zeta-Freakin'-Jones. You don't get to be insecure. My heart bleeds for her.

There are naked women on that show. Well, yeah, but they're old.

That's honestly the conversation that took place over lunch about Sex and the City. Yep. We're real professionals.

This entire WEEK is a total waste of make-up.

Today I spent seven hours in my new position- that of Suck-Up Girl. Pam, one of the managers, doesnt really like Training Guy (aka Ross the Intern) and is a teensy bit scared of him. So whenever she needed something, she would make me go ask for it, because I smile and look cute. And now I'm Ross the Intern's special friend. We're tight. He calls me Katherine and pats me on the back (which might concern me if he weren't ROSS THE INTERN).

And I am so happy that my extensive classical secondary education (thanks Mom) and my abilities to conjugate any Latin verb, name almost any Renaissance painting by artist, title, and date, to give you a quick rundown of the English royalty from the Norman Conquest in 1066 to the fall of the Tudor Dynasty with the death of Elizabeth I in 1603, and write a ten-page paper on ANY subject in an evening, complete with footnotes and a bibliography are being usitilized as Suck-Up Girl.

Life is great.

Also, we set up an entire cafe today. I'm a liberal arts person. We don't work. We think.

I was not pleased.

Only three more days- whee!!! And then I might be out of a job. No. Not going to think that. Things could go perfectly well and I could be back helping people figure out the massively confusing alphabetical by author shelving system.

Bunches of family get-togethers lately. Maybe just two. Still.

Father's Day on Sunday- very much fun with many potatos. We ran out of regular wine, and I was feeling creative, so I drank a bunch of those little travel drinks (some wine, some mixed drinks), and had a gay old time. We're out of those now, too, by the way.

But perhaps the best part of the evening, and perhaps the year, was when we were all yelling about something and then Steven goes, "Well, yeah, but she's from bumfuc..." and realizes there is no possible way to finish that word that doens't make it obscene. Poor Grandpa's head whipped around and the rest of us were just like "oh, shit". I don't think he totally got it. The rest of us were hysterical, though.

It was amazing.

And then last night we went to dinner with the same people at The Chancery, for another one of our death holidays. Good times, but no fun little drinks. Leftovers, though. Yay.

I think I'll go eat them.

Still enjoying your medication, I see.

Ugh.

Not feeling well. Got massively ill at about twelve-thirty. I think it was a migraine, but it came complete with a fever. It's gotten slightly better- the fever's gone and I can walk without feeling faint, but I'm still really nauseated, noises seem really, really loud, and my head hurts like a mother.

And I had to call in sick, which makes me feel horrible because I have this major guilt complex thing where I think I'm being a bad employee. Completely unfounded, by the way; I work for a lovely company that doesn't mind if you call in sick because they are not communists. And I've worked there a year and only had to leave once. Still. The guilt.

But as I was supposed to be there forty-five minutes ago and I currently am contemplating whether or not I have the energy to cross the room to the sofa, I'm thinking I would have had to leave anyway.

If it was not a biological impossibility, I'd swear I was pregnant. I'm always late, I'm exhausted even after ten hours of sleep, I get nauseated every day for no reason, I'm really irritable, some days I just feel like crying, and my boobs have gotten huge. I shudder to think how much money I'd be funneling into pregnancy tests every month if I slept around.

Not much has been going on lately. Went to Mickey's slightly-decimated-as-they-are-moving house on Thursday for birthday celebrations. And listened to Mickey wail and gnash her teeth about having to move to The New Mequon. Which only got slightly insulting (as I've lived in The New Mequon for eight years) after the third straight hour.

It was rather strange to see the pictures that haven't been moved since before I was born off the wall, thought.

Also? Adding coconut rum to green drinks makes them SO MUCH BETTER!!! I'd like to request that Mickey bring the fun rum and juice (because we always forget to buy some) to Fathers Day, if it is at all possible.

In book news, I finally read The Road, or Hailed As The Best Book Ever OMG. And holy no chapters, Batman, I HATED IT.

Oh. My. God. How. Depressing. Dead kids, dead dads, post-apocalyptic-ness.

So boring. SO BORING. I love most books, but this one. Damn. And it won the freaking Pulitzer Prize??? I read tons and tons of better books that came out last year. The Thirteenth Tale was amazing. The Whole World Over. Even The Emperor's Children had some redeeming value. And chapters. The no chapters really bugged me.

Oprah needs to step it up with her next book club pick. Oh, wait, I guess I mean the one after this one. Because she picked this book Middlesex, about a guy going through gender reassignment. Eww. I haven't sold a single one. Even Oprah can't push that baby.

My head's going to explode. I'm going to go lie down so at least it will explode onto a pillow.

I'm an empirical scientist all the way. Unless you talk to my mother. Then I'm Lutheran.

Josh covered John Lennon's Imagine. And it is the most beautiful thing I've heard since Awake came out. It sounds way less preachy when Josh sings it. Well, okay, it doesn't sound less preachy, it just sounds like Josh. But he could sing about electing Al Gore President and I'd buy it off of iTunes.

I have no moral integrity.

Or drive to do anything. The house is kind of filthy, because I worked all day yesterday. But I have no inclination to do anything about it. I had to go buy clothes for training next week, and frankly that way way more energy than I wanted to expand today. Eh.

Maybe I can bring myself to fold some laundry.

Maybe.
Work was not all bad, and not only because people generally left me alone to page through InStyle fashion guides while I alphabatized the appearence section.

I got to introduce a little girl to Jane Austen. And then gushed about the Bronte sisters for a good ten minutes. Aww. I want daughters.

Happy birthday to Mickey!!! Who is turning...35. Or something like that. Also, party tonight. Whoo!!!

My sinuses are threatening to stage a revolution, and I think I shall go mix an antihistimine cocktail.

This was terribly boring. I apologize.

ETA: WHAT???? NO! You cannot fire PAUL LEWISTON!!! He is practically a name partner. If I didn't love you so much, Boston Legal, you would be dead to me. But I do, so you're not. Kisses. Oh, and I could take or leave Mark and Denise. They kind of bug me. I liked New Girl, though.

He is a bit of a lumox, isn't he?

I am not pleased with the State Department right now.

And not just because they waste space with useless travel warnings. I'm sorry. But if you think traveling to the West Bank is a good idea right now, you deserve to die.

No, right now it's because they screwed up my passport, even though my middle name is CLEARLY two words, and CLEARLY outlined on the PROVIDED birth certificate and HOW STUPID ARE YOU PEOPLE!?!?!

*ahem*

And now I have to wait for weeks to get a new one. You know, with everyone else in the country because all of a sudden Canada is a big security risk.

Pssh. Government.

I'm feeling remarkably benevolent towards my government right now, though, as I finished A Thousand Splendid Suns last night while the rest of the family was watching The Magnificent Seven (umm...horses...and guns...and a pretty girl...I don't know), and while I may whine frequently about what to do with my degree, at least I have the opportunity to get one. And no one has tried to stone me for being a whore. I mean, I'm not a whore, but if I was, I still wouldn't be stoned.

I never thought I'd come down on the side of the communists, but damn, the 1970s was a good time to be a woman in Afghanistan.

Am feeling very in contrrol. All of the laundry is finished, things are dusted and vacuumed, and my hair is curling nicely. *feels pleased with self*

Wow. I am a control freak.

Hey Mom, why can't Buster pretend to be your escort? That's the way he's got it in all his cartoons.

My relationship with summer has hit that peaceful plateau that you get after about twenty years of marriage. We've gone through the rough first years (What? It so horrible that I want to have my own life??? I don't think so!!!), weathered the seven-year- itch (Maybe I want to go outside. Did you ever think about that?), and have gotten to the point where it's just comfortable and it doesn't matter so much if he beats me because divorce and finding something better would just take too much effort.

I did not mean for that to sound like I was condoning spousal abuse. Even though it totally did.

Been reading a lot lately, like hundreds of pages a day. Some random book by the women who wrote The Nanny Diaries, one of my favorite books ever. Eh. Not their best effort. Not that you would know it by reading the glowing staff pick I was guilted into doing by Manager Who Shall Remain Nameless, a woman who is obsessed with the staff picks and will accost employees who so much as look at a book, regardless of whether they read and/or enjoyed the book.

One I really did enjoy was Whistling in the Dark. I wasn't really expecting too, and only read it because, well, I can, and the author is doing a signing/talking thingy later this month that probably three people will show up for. I felt like I should know what was going on. It was very engrossing, and very sweet. I loved the two little girls. Kind of like To Kill a Mockingbird crossed with The Lovely Bones. Everyone should read immediately.

Now on to A Thousand Splendid Suns. Wow. I'm very pleased that I'm a little white girl from the North Shore and not an illegitimate baby girl in Afghanistan. Because that clearly sucks.

The greatest social injustice in my childhood was that the Murphy's had a computer before I did.

Being stoned sucks WAY more.

Massive amounts of fun this morning with the Empress and Mommy Dearest. Went out for coffee at Smith Bros. Officially my Favorite Coffee Place Maybe Except For Cedarburg Roastery (which has the inestimable advantage of hot guys working there).

I'm still personally wounded that it took away pretty much the only restaurant north of Mequon that doesn't have arches or a taco out front, though.

Oh. Wait. We had Ferrantes, too. Until they closed for no reason other than that their bathrooms were haunted. No, really, they were.

But I digress.

Mom and Colleen tried their darndest to convince me that I would get into grad school, I would not still be working the same job ("Receipt in the bag all right???") in ten years, and my life would have meaning and NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY YOU WILL NOT STILL BE MAKING COFFEE!!! I think they were a little bit sick of me by the end.

I don't care. As the only resident of Chez Morena without neuroses, magical pills that make everything okay, or plastic sheeting, I reserve the right to go a little bit crazy about my future.

Oh, and Colleen made Mom promise not to shop at Costco. You know, like we weren't going to shop at Target, Best Buy, or Borders. Umm...

After coffee we went to see a model home. The same model home, indeed, that Person Who Shall Remain Nameless is building his/her house after.

(I honestly cannot keep straight what I am and am not supposed to know at this point. I swear to God, my family is like the mafia. But we're pasty, Irish, and poor. And without guns. So basically we just have a bunch of bordering-on-unethical secrets University of Minnesota calls, everybody graduated!!!. Hmmm. Mafia actually sounds better.)

And I'd just like to tell Person Who Shall Remain Nameless that I adore the model home, but I think the TV and the piano in the living room might make things a tad claustrophobic, and that he/she should reconsider his/her negative take on the whole kitchen/family room/morning room, because it is absolutely adorable and if I was going to be jealous of one thing in the house, it would be that part.

Also, good call on the bay window.

But oh my God the flashbacks. Not until today did I realize that spending so much of my childhood in model homes must have done some serious damage.

Tales from a Saturday Night: Part 5

No, wait, Mommy has excercised her rarely used power to shut all of us up and came down squarely on the side of Hello Dolly.

It looks like my homophobic/philistine brother and father will have to suffer through singing. Make the lambs stop crying!!!

Oooh. Popcorn.

Tales from a Saturday Night: Part 4

Back on Magnificent Seven.

Which I might hate more than Hello Dolly.

Tales from a Saturday Night: Part 3

Favor quickly turning towards Colleen and her feminist Hello Dolly boat.

Actually, I hate Hello Dolly. Eew.

Tales from a Saturday Night: Part 2

Colleen has turned the Hello Dolly/Magnificent Seven debate into a feminist rant (which is surprisng, as Colleen is hardly a feminist) and just yelled "I don't see why women can't be entertaining unless they take their clothes off!!!" at my poor bewildered brother.

I'm finding that amusing.

Tales from a Saturday Night

I'm being forced to watch Magnificent Seven against my will.

If you see a flare in an hour, it will be me.

Also, people yelled at me for six hours today. They can all go die in a hole. IT IS NOT MY FAULT WE DO NOT CARRY RASHI'S DAUGHTER!!!

My last shred of dignity is gone.

I actually sat and watched Fox News this afternoon as Paris was ordered to return to prison. And now I actually feel kind of badly for her, what with the whole calling out for her mom thing.

Also in court news (which garnered barely and "Oh, yeah, remember that crazy who shot her husband???" from the announcer), Mary Winkler gets like five minutes. Roughly.

Wait. Just one more. Frankly, I've had McEnough (not mine, got it from ew.com). It's official. I'm never watching Grey's Anatomy again. Here's my suggestion---Bailey goes and joins Addison and the crazy whiny bitches and McDreamy, who is one estrogen shot away from being a crazy whiny bitch himself (Let me go, Meredith...oh what the hell???), just go and lose the ratings war to CSI. *sniff*

My life not nearly as interesting. I watched three hourse of The Starter Wife on USA today, and wow summer TV is not what it should be. Creepy Hot Homeless guy may have killed Guy Who Co-Hosts the Memorial Day Thing On Channel 10 With Gary Sinise Every Year. (Yes. That is is name.)

Eh. I don't have anything better to do. I'll watch again.

Been reading a crapload recently, especially since I discovered that I can actually take books from work as long as I tell a manager about it. Oh, and bring them back. I can now read all the crappy new releases I know I'm going to hate but want to say I've read anyway (read: A Thousand Splendid Suns. I'm the only person in the world who thought the Kite Runner was boring.). Whee!!!

Or I could ride my horse. *chokes on the laughter*

Or watch bad summer TV. And we have a winner.

So apparently the Los Angeles Department of Corrections can't stand her either.

It must have been the weeping that got to them. I wouldn't have been able to stand the weeping.

What can the internets do for you?

I've been in a creative mood lately. Like I should be writing or painting something- I don't know, like I need to create something (yet another symptom of my self-diagnosed phantom pregnancy). There is an issue with this creative urge, though, given that I have negative artistic talent and also lack the patience to write anything longer than ten pages. *visions of a dissertation dance uncomfortably in my head*

So I started surfing, and have been expressing myself with HTML instead. Began with some Facebook applications, and ended today with a brand new wiki, which is completely useless except that it makes me feel good.

I don't know, I try not to question the crazy.

Everything is linked on the sidebar, if you should like to explore my Wiki goodness.

Oh, and posted my Amazon.com wishlist on the sidebar as well, just in case you need to buy me something (three months and one week until my birthday!!!). Just, you know, in case.


Eh. Kind of over working. People were bugging me majorly yesterday, including one old guy (yes, even old in my book) who stood really closely while I was looking up his book and then went, "You're really cute." "Thanks. My husband thinks so," I replied.

If one more awkward old smelly guy quasi-hits on me, I'm going to start wearing a ring on my left hand. Gah.

And then SIXTEEN THOUSAND PEOPLE were whining to me about the cafe being gone even though they clearly knew about it like six weeks ago. Good Lord. Leave me the hell alone.

Because nothing is cuter than penquins.

I'm HTML-ed out. Going to go fold laundry. A demain.

An uncharacteristic burst of activity.

Pretty much since classes let out my days have consisted of eating (mmm, cheesecake), sleeping, experimenting with mineral foundation (very good look, but my skin is so oily that it disappears after about ten minutes *sigh*), and making Blockbuster runs (A Very Long Engagement??? Really boring and LOTS of stuff I didn't want to see. Even I could barely get through it.). And that's about it.

But today already I've cleaned the kitchen, put away my winter clothes, separated my shoes into wear and don't wear categories, done a couple loads of laundry, and made a Facebook album from this weekend. I am very pleased with myself.

This should be enough activity for about a month awhile.

Broke my own rule about not going to see any other movie as long as Pirates is at the theater yesterday, and saw Knocked Up with the Empress. Pretty funny, really vulgar, and OH HOLY MOTHER THAT'S AN ACTUAL BIRTH RIGHT THERE.

I. Am never. Having children. EVER.

Also, I don't think I can watch Grey's Anatomy again.

Bunches of old people, who were whining about the language all through the movie. I'm sorry. You bought a ticket to a movie called KNOCKED UP. You had to say it to the ticket lady. What the hell did you think you were going to get??? And there was this woman sitting next to us who was commenting on various plot developments as they occurred, which was massively annoying.

That kid cracks me up. Also, she really looks like either my mom or my aunt. I can't figure out which one.

So, as the Facebook album linked above indicates, the Tsarevitch finished eighth grade this week, and much partying was had by all. I'm very sorry that there aren't more of the actual person the party was thrown for in the album, but I for one hate looking at other people's party picks, so twenty-five shots of John opening cards from various relatives wouldn't be too interesting. So I just put up the funny random ones instead.

Le anyhoodles, it was a very good time, and The Boy John (I'm trying to be nice here) got a ton of money, a bunch of Stargate/Kingdom of Something/Whatever crap that I don't understand, and a freaking iPod. This has not unplugged from his ears since I showed him how to use it on Saturday night. I'm kind of scared that the earbuds aren't going to come out, but rather he's grown protective bone over them or something.

Also, we had very good cake, and the lovely twisty pastry thingies that I'm having at my wedding.

^^^That is a picture of my third DVD player in as many months, it seems like. The last one (free because I know someone who bought a massively expensive HD TV because she was convinced it saved her money I don't know I've stopped asking) broke on Saturday morning, which was terribly unfortunate as a.) I'm broke, b.) it trapped a library DVD in it, and c.) see a re: b (they don't let you just keep those, damn them).

Fortunately, John was so preoccupied with iGoodness that I could spirit his player away and acknowledge it as my own mwhahaha. (Okay. He gave me permission.) And now I have entertainment again, which is just loverly as Target had the first season of Bones on sale for $16.99 last week. I know, right? Couldn't pass it up, mate.

Okay, I'm linking less about the article and more about the booking photo. It looks more professional than many studio photographs I've seen. And it appears she won't get the chance to be anyone's bitch. *sigh*

I'm going to go eat leftovers, but happy anniversary to Mommy and Daddy!!! I really hope that my orphan convert with an accent who makes over 150 k a year and I make it that long. :D