Say Yes to the Dress

I'm kind of a TLC-reality show slut. It began, of course, with Jon & Kate Plus 8. I was ALL ABOUT that show. I had a favorite kid, for heaven's sake. (Aaden. I loved Aaden.) Then they broke up and started fighting and it just got depressing and...well, then it was cancelled, so I got over that. I love What Not to Wear. SO HARD. I aspire to being wealthy enough to hire Clinton Kelly to just live in my house and dress me every morning. And make me laugh. And remind me to send thank you notes, which I'm horrible at doing.

(If you've given me a gift in the last five years, and have yet to receive a thank you note? Sorry. My bad.)

Do not even get me started on I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. I think if Jesus were going to watch something, it would be this show.

(I never really got into 17 18 19 Kids and Counting. Or, as I like to call it, He is Not That Attractive Why Do You Keep Having Sex With Him I Don't Care That That's What God Wants.)

Another good one is Say Yes to the Dress. It's not my favorite, but it's on right after What Not to Wear and I love it when they go crazy and burst into tears. (Sad, not happy. Happy just makes me sad.) Tonight there's a huge woman who wants a "sexy" dress for the reception as well as a pouffy one for the actual ceremony.

I have a myriad of problems with this. One- seriously, the woman is way too big for those dresses. Second, please don't ever use "sexy" when you're talking about your wedding. Look, obviously you're thinking, "I want to look hot." But you need to say, "I want to look beautiful and innocent."

It's all about being a lady.

(Stop laughing.)

I don't like the whole idea of two dresses, either. And not just because it's a huge waste of money, but it's your wedding dress. I'm not married. I'm not engaged. I've never planned a wedding. And I do place much more importance on the marriage than on the ceremony, but you get to wear this dress for a matter of hours. Why would you want to cut that short to put on a different dress? It makes no sense.

Neither did this post. I'm sorry.