Sunday, April 05, 2009

I'm sending my credit card bill to my parents.

I was dumped at Wal-Mart this afternoon while my dad when grocery shopping. Right here, you can see this will be a problem. Dad is not good with the budgeting time. I would be lucky if I got home in enough time to get to school tomorrow morning. But no! He assured us that he would go quickly, and we would probably still be looking for jeans when he got back.

(YES I buy my jeans at Wal-Mart. Whatever. I'm poor and they're cute. My stylist to whom I'm paying good money to make me feel inferior told me they were cute.)

Ostensibly I was supposed to be helping the Empress find jeans. She left the store with no jeans. I left the store with jeans, a sweater, lipgloss, hair clips, a headband, pretty, comfy mary janes, South Beach snack bars, and a hair straightener.

The sweater was $10. And I refuse to pay anything over $10 for anything white because I am a klutz with bionic sweat. White doesn't last long in my world. (This is why I want a black wedding dress.)

(Well, that and the fact that I look like a whale in pictures and this is the one day of my life I will want pictures.)

(Too bad I'm one of the approximately three women remaining in the US who can legitimately wear a white dress.)

Daddy still wasn't done when we were finished in clothes. So we wandered to cosmetics. I tried to convince the Empress that she would look good in some imperial lipstick. She suggested that because she looked like a slob most of the time, everyone would know that she was wearing it. Then I realized that they stocked my shade of lipgloss! The shade that usually Walgreens only has because no one else stocks the entire range of Maybelline Super Lustrous Lipgloss. N00bs.

Then we wandered to hair stuff. Clip that held thick hair? In the cart arms (we forgot a cart). Pretty filigree headband for only two dollars? Arms.

Food was right across the aisle, and Colleen wanted to comparison shop the South Beach meal bars. They didn't have her kind, but I will be noshing on a lovely 120-calorie mocha bar tomorrow.

Still hadn't called.

We couldn't believe we hadn't looked at shoes yet, so we mosied on over there. And lo! They had adorable little almost flat mary janes that would be so cute for when I just don't feel like the four-inch heels.

Still no call.

I had a flash of brilliance! I have spent months and tons of money trying to find a hair straightener as good as Colleen's. The day she moved into the dorm and took it away from me was a dark, sad day. But they no longer stock it at Target (my white trash store of choice). Why not check here?

You saw this one coming, didn't you?

They had it! So obviously, need. Duh.

It's a damn good thing he called then, because I might have gotten new bedding.


mickey said...

oh yes that bill should so go to the rents :):):):)

rokford said...

Have you ever heard the term "window shop"?? It is a possibility!!:) Good thing he got back when he did or you would have had to go to Home Depot and rent a truck to get home!! I do like the sweater though!!! And I am sure that your hair will now be beautifully straightened! (P.S. - Maybe you should stay home next time - neither of us can afford it!!)

Anonymous said...

I beleive we can easily offset the costs incurred by comparing it to the trendy name brand (read expensive and time consuming to find) grocery items that were purchased while you were surrendering you self control at Wal-Mart. And it's not too bad you can still legitimately wear white at your wedding.
your old man

imladris said...

If you were Novalee Nation, you would literally get dumped at a Wal-Mart. By a boy. And you would be pregnant.