Perhaps not the right frame of mind.

Dear Lady Sitting Next to Me at Mass,

I'm sorry. Maybe you were absent on that day of Christian Formation and General Courtesy, but you do not read the bulletin all through the Liturgy of the Word. It's kind of a big deal. Divinely inspired and all. It's really rude to just sit there paging. You're really old, and I see you at Mass every week, so clearly you know that you're supposed to be at least pretending to pay attention.

Also? It's rude to stare judgementally at me all through Mass because you think we're sitting too closely. First of all, you moved closer to me. Second, I realize that I arrived with a group roughly the size of a circus (a slow-moving circus at that), but that's not really their fault.

Let's keep this in mind for next week, mmkay?

***

Yeah. Next week I'm going alone. Between the fact that we literally went to Communion in pairs, held up several lines, and then had to grumble when Grandpa stopped to talk to this guy who is generally a pretentious asshat and WE AREN'T EVEN FRIENDS WITH HIM for like TEN MINUTES, it was way more attention-grabbing that I would have liked.

I also don't like this priest. He's slow, and annoying, and speaks in this voice that makes me kind of want to convert to Judaism. He doesn't bow at the "through the power of the Holy Spirit He was born of the Virgin Mary and became man" line in the Nicene Creed, which, I'll be honest, I kind of half-heartedly do, but it was nice when the priest at least did it.

And he doesn't do the hand-washing "wash away my iniquities" part which is (and yes, I checked) PART OF THE MASS THAT YOU CAN'T SCREW WITH. I don't like him. He should go back to helping the apparently large and sinning Asian population.

On a not-grumbly PMS-ing notes, we're watching Vantage Point tonight! I've wanted to see this like forever, so yay!