It's the holiday season, at least in retail. And that means that there is a ton of crap that you have to put up that sparkles and spins and is "gifty" (which, for me, means "anything I could find on the shelf").
This year, it appears we are featuring a DVD of a fireplace. Which it touted as being realistic. And now with a loop function! Because you know nothing kills the mood like the FBI criminal notice when the DVD starts over! But fear not, because now "this fire is eternal". And also, the package touts that the romance will never be interrupted by the fire alarm.
Excuse me?
What the hell kind of fires are you starting that your fire alarm goes off? In the middle of the living room? Because I'm pretty sure that's not recommended.
As though this wasn't enough hilarity, then we all got a recall notice for some cookbook because they explained how to cook a turkey incorrectly. The book was called (I kid you not), "How to Have the Best Holiday Ever".
Salmonella!!!
So now I don't know how to have the best holiday ever. And damn it, this year was going to be so fun anyway.
4 comments:
That venture was doomed from the start. If they really wanted to move product, they would have titled it: "How to Have the Best Holiday EVAAAH OMG."
Because that's the name of my hypothetical book, to be released at some point in the 21st century.
lol....fireplace DVD.....
Aren't you glad we have a real fireplace and that we have even discussed where one could be added to Grandpa's house (those direct vent gas ones are just great if you have an outside wall - I think so anyway...) you will never have to rely on a DVD on loop - how very realistic that must be!!! Gee, why would you think that this holiday may not be perfect??? Remember, it is what we make it, right???? And if we want it to be a good one it will be -- Grandpa would want us to enjoy ourselves and each other on Christmas....right???
I have seen the direct vent gas fireplaces in homes and they are GREAT!!! Yes Papa would want all of us to have a wonderful holiday season....he will be because he will be celebrating with relatives he hasn't seen for a long time and he can still be with us...you know he is still here!!!! Our personal chef was over the other day and we came up with the Thanksgiving shopping list/menu and he said "since the J family is doing so much at Papa's house tell them not to do anything for Thanksgiving..I will do it all and they will have a wonderful meal". Yeah I know it's not raking leaves, but give him a break!!!! He said if you "wanted" to bring anything because he knows you like to bake pies etc. you should bring anything you want, but nothing is required. Does that help???? It should be a tasty meal and trust me that Papa is watching everything that goes on in this house.....:)
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