Farewell, Katie :P

Okay, everybody knows how I feel about Katie Couric, so I'll just say one thing to say about her departure. The producers are lucky that nothing important happened yesterday because that would have seriously cut into their three hour Katiethon.

(The cast of Jersey Boys just did a tribute in which they changed the works of Bye Bye Baby to Bye Bye Katie. Make the screaching stop. Oh. Now they're swaying in formation. Pencil, meet eye. )

(GAHHH!!! JONTHATON ANTIN!!! How we love your craziness.)

Freaky bored, y'all. No attacks of dangerous nocternal flying bugs or anything of the sort. But I did attack my alarm when it went off freaky early. I'm kind of beyond even wanting to brush my teeth when I drop off Imladris. Not that I'm going to stop, but still.

Have now worked two days. Now know how to make smoothies and espresso and steamed milk. Slightly less clear on how to put them together.

I'm hoping that we're going to turn the Katie Weep-Fest off in time for CSI:NY. I need my CSIs. Nothing, not even Katie Couric's colon, will keep me from them.

My Nocternal Adventures

The bugs are out to get me.

I have a thing about flying bugs. They disturb me significantly more than crawling ones. Like I can probably let a spider sit in the corner as long as I glance over occasionally and make sure he's actually still in his corner. Not so with a fly. The fly must die.

Last night's perpetrator was a mosquito. A mosquito that looked like it sucked some Northern Ukrainian blood circa 1986. Dude was massive. And it was clearly trying to hurt me.

I couldn't sleep, so I got up about midnight and was reading in bed when I see It. Hovering above me on the ceiling. I thought it was a spider at first because it was so big, but then I ralized it was flying. Which spiders kind of don't do. So I freak out and get up on my bed with a shoe to try to kill it.
...
...
...

Twenty minutes later, It is clearly toying with me by seeking shelter in the fan thing and emerging only to taunt me as if to say, "Ha. Just wait until you go to sleep..." I tried turning on the light in the hall to draw him out, but he was too crafty for that. I gave up, and just pulled my quilt over my head so that there was no skin available for him to possibly bite. (Oh. It was ninety degrees with REALLY high humidity yesterday.)
...
...
...

Three hours later I awaken in a swamp. Okay, so I'm technically still in bed, but it feels like a swamp. I'm literally soaked in sweat, my pajamas (the incredibly sexy big t-shirt and five-dollar athletic shorts variety :P) are actually sticking to me. The mosquito is now using the unbelievably high humidity and the utter lack of any air movement to torture me even further. It's a smart mosquito.

And I couldn't even find him to kill him. But I knew one thing. It was on.

It was still in my room this morning. But the night's festivities had dulled his instincts, and I was able to kill him. Ha. And now there is a little streak of mosquito guts across my ceiling. I consider it a badge of honor.

Imladris has informed my that Anderson Cooper is, in fact, one of the Vanderbilts. As in mansion, University, never have to work again a day in your life. I just got way more interested in My Super Sweet 16.

Started work today. Snaps for me. I didn't completely screw up or anything. And I found out about the employee discount. Oh. It's good. It's very good. Plus tips. Woot.

I can't believe they let her go. Maybe the other women in the cell begged the guards to save them from the Evil Mannish Bitch.

I'm such a dork. I watch five solid hours of CSI yesterday. Oh the joys of Memorial Day.

I need something summer reading like, okay??? Like The Historian last year. Something totally good and intriguing and preferably really long. Because the Brothers Karamazov is getting a little dry. I can't keep Alyosha and Smerdykov straight anymore.

The Sexiest Baby in the World

The birth of the chosen one. According to the prophysies, baby Shiloh will one day lead our people into battle with the as-yet-unseen Death Spawn. Scary times ahead, folks, scary times.

Seriously. Shiloh? I used to ride a horse named Shiloh. It wasn't even a pretty horse. Not that this kid's gonna be hurting for looks. Unless both her parents considerable sexiness gets canceled out by the others. Which would be tragic. She'll still be rich, though.

Okay, I'm totally stealing this from Imladris, but I was a bad Catholic this morning. My mind was totally wandering during Mass. Personally, I think it was an exceptionally boring one, though, so I'm not sure I can be blamed for it all.

8:31~ I'm fat. Why does Imladris look so cute??? Why did we both wear pink? We need to uncoordinate our outfits the night before from now on.

8:32~Who is this saying Mass??? Oh. Right. Nice guy who gave Mom Communion in hospital. Damn. He was more interesting then. Or maybe I was just paying attention.

8:33~ Is Mary here? There's Mary. We should do something this weekend. Except I don't really feel like paying for her. Oooh. Are we doing the parade tomorrow? I like the parade. Except I don't really like parades in general. And I don't like getting up early. And it's going to be freakishly warm. Hmmm. Maybe I don't want to go to parade. But the parade always brings up warm fuzzy feelings. Why is that?

8:36~ Why do we never get sprinkled with Holy Water back here??? So not fair. If you put a little arm into it, Padre, things might go a little better.

8:40~ Wow. Seriously, a reading just went by???

8:40:30~ Ooh, pretty psalm. Wonder if I have the energy to pick up the book.

8:41~ Mmmm. Johnny.

8:45~ Damn. Another one?!?!??!?!?! Okay, seriously gonna listen to the gospel.

8:50~ *listens to gospel* Is my hair too big? It's awfully frizzy.

8:55~ Homily. Oh good. *surreptitiously looks at bulletin* Tee-hee. Funny picture of regular priest circa 1975.

8:56~ That's not nice. How's my hair???

9:00~ Ew. Icky thing on Imladris's foot. *amuses self looking at said icky thing for five minutes*

9:05~ Wow, creed time already???

9:05:30~ Nicene is a fun word to say.

9:10~ Kneel. Make sure don't have any unsightly back rolls as people are standing in the Narthex.

9:11~ Wonder if my iPod has enough juice to get home. 16 hours of play time my ass. I wonder if I'll have enough time to charge it before we go out on the boat. Wait. Are we going out on the boat? That would be fun. But there's a whole lot of work and Mommy gets all Nazi on our asses and Daddy gets overconfident and there's always the possiblity of ending up in the lake. Maybe not so fun.

9:13~ Boat would still be fun.

9:15~ I actually did pay attention during the Consecration. I'm not a heathen. :)

9:18~ Am I going to Communion with frizzy hair??? Seriously. Am I???

9:25~ Final blessing. I did bow my head and pray for God's blessing, especially since my mind wandered all through Mass. I figured it was the least I could do.

9:27~ Ew. Don't like this song.

I'm such a bad person.

In case you were really on the edge of your seat there, I did make plans with Mary, my iPod made it home, I had time to charge it, we did not go out on the boat (my partying parents are upstairs---asleep), and I checked my hair on the way home and it was a little frizzy but not awful. And I'm assuming Imladris got the icky thing off the bottom of her shoe. :)

Mac's hosting the Memorial Day Concert tonight on PBS!!! Snaps for politically active Mac.

Musings of a Pop Culture Whore Hopped Up on Cold Medicine

Well, the NyQuil attacked whatever was in my head yesterday and sent it hurling south to regroup. So now I have perfectly clear sinuses but sound like I'm going to hack up a lung. I've ditched the DayQuil and have become addicted to my steroid inhaler instead, because frankly my poor deformed lungs cannot take any more. I'm probably sooo over medicated right now.... Need more NyQuil.

Okay, so now I want to minor in art history. For no good reason. I am so impractical. How does art history go with international affairs??? Unless I want to work at the Smithsonian? I'm sure my four years of Russian and French will really come in handy there.

Heh. I wasn't allowed to use the curling iron until I was fourteen because my mom was afraid that this would happen. She still gets upset when I iron.

I guess boys really do cry. Even when they look like Hilary Swank. No, I kid. I'm very sad for them---they seemed like they were going to work it out.

This cannot happen. I will not allow Nicole to get dumped while Tom has Katie chained up in the basement.

My Inner Pop-Culture Whore is laughing too hard to think of something witty to say.

DayQuil Contains Crack

I wonder what would happen if I ripped out my sinuses/entire nasal system. How big an anatomical problem would that really create? (Other than the slight logistical one that is created by the fact that sinuses are apparently just holes in your skull, and therefore impossible to rip out.) Do we really smell that often??? I'd probably lose weight too, because food wouldn't taste as good. So now I'm worried that maybe it's not just allergies, because the Benadryl I sucked down last night did nothing except knock me out for six hours. Still feeling better today, though. I think I shall try NyQuil tonight and just knock whatever has taken to living in my head out. It's on, bitch.

Massive fun night of TV viewing last night. Taylor won American Idol, which I am happy about by default. And the Lost season finale was on, which was freaking aweseome. Except I cannot figure out how Jane Parsons from DNA knew where Desmond was. I'm so confused. I don't even get the message boards. When crazy internet people are more intelligent than you are, you know something's off.

The problem with all these amazing season finales is that...duh...they are the season finales. And I have nothing to watch all freakin' summer except reruns and NBC's pathetic attempt at cracking the top three by gathering together the biggest group of idiots they could find and having them hunt for treasure while telling jokes and hula-hooping or something pathetic like that. Grrr.

It will, however, give me a chance to discover new shows, like I did with House last year. Bones looks quite good, no???

K, so who wants to fly to Istanbul with me on July first??? Nobody? Whatever. I'm not scared. Because really, a single shared border with Iraq is not enough to keep me away from Johnny six days early. I'd show up in Baghdad if they were getting it sooner. And the State Department said that the avian flu in only a "possible pandemic". We're getting all worked up over nothing. I'm there.

Hump Day

It's over. Any shred of haughty intelligence I may have had is gone. We voted for American Idol last night. Okay, so it's along with the rest of the nation. My mom said she didn't feel so badly because she did in fact vote for president as well. I never have, but that's no my fault. Congress decided I'm not smart enough to make an informed decision. Obviously it's been awhile since they talked to any eighteen-year-olds. But that's a whole different rant. :p

I'm a Taylor fan by default. I just don't want Katharine McPhee to win because then I'll have to watch Simon mentally undress her...again. And that is, frankly, getting REALLY annoying.

In other TV news, Alias ended Monday Night. Oh. *tear* WHY ARE ALL MY FRIENDS LEAVING ME??? First Will and Grace and now Sydney and Vaughn. Except that Sydney and Vaughn ended with a good finale, unlike Will and Grace which ripped out my heart and left a giant sucking wound. Except that Jack died. NO!!! NOT SPYDADDY!!!! (Who is totally not gay, despite what everyone on the boards says. I'm sure Nathan Lane has straight friends.) But he endedup taking down Sloane in the end, too. The ending was so sweet, with the new baby and Isabelle being able to do the Super Amazing Technical Block Game. Aww...she's gonna be just like her mom!!!! *tear*

(BTW, I didn't feel like doing a whole long post about my Monday night shows this time, because I've been really busy sitting in waiting room lately, but look for one tomorrow about the Lost finale, k??? I'll probably have something about Two and a Half Men in there too.)

So I've been reading freakish amounts of books lately. I finally did my long-anticipated Orwell spree and read 1984 and Animal Farm back to back, which were really good in that Wow-this-is-so-weird-there-is-no-way-I'm-ever-eating-meat-again way. Anybody else think that "The Room" that Walt mentioned on Lost is anything like Room 101??? I do.

In keeping with out central year theme, I finally finished 1776 by David McCulloch. Oh my gosh. Everyone must go buy this book. It's so interesting. I love the Revolutionary War, and this totally made it come to life. My mother would be proud- she's done her job well. :P

And then I finished The Voyage Out while sitting in a waiting room. Yeah. Does Virginia Wolfe bug anybody else??? Like you find yourself thinking "Why the hell can't she just pick a character and stick with it???" I still love her stuff on a base level (my inner feminist, who pretty much gets squashed on a daily basis by my inner non-feminist who doesn't really ahve any desire to work but would be perfectly happy living off of some guy), but it gets a little bit hard to follow. Now I'm into The Brother's Karamazov. Love me some thousand page Russian novels. Imladris is very proud of herself because she's almost to page 600 of Anna Karenina, which means she only has three hundred pages left. Snaps for her!!! Maybe I'll refrain from throwing this one in the lake, ala War and Peace.

Reason #264 to Love iPods: You discover your old songs. Really. Because you'll kind of forget about it and find yourself rocking out to Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves and then you'll be like, "Wow. Cher is awesome." Even if she is lying about her age. Because we saw her three years ago and she was fifty eight. Now she just turned sixty??? Hmmm...

Finally, My Inner Pop-Culture Whore thinks that they should just let it go. She' s not even interested enough to pick a side.

Broken Ankles and Upside Down Ships

Major horse racing problems this weekend, kiddos. So sad. I hope things go well for him, 'cuz it would really be a shame to have to put him down. And I was already emotionally invested in the Preakness---I get emotional about all horse races, really. I don't know what it is- I'm obviously over that whole horse thing, I haven't kept up with the races in five years, and while I still ride it's like twice a year not as often as I used to. But horses, and racing in particular, were such a huge part of my life that for some reason will just not die. Seriously. Although I have no more allusions of jockeying grandeur (despite what the My Home State considers my weight to be courtesy of my drivers license, there's no way in hell we'd get in under that 126 mark with a saddle and everything), and eleven months of the year pass without me giving racing much thought, I get totally into the triple crown. Maybe because I've never seen one. Seriously. Somebody has got to win that thing eventually. It's been like thirty years.

Super amazingly good CSI: Miami/NY repeats last night. I should not be this excited about repeats. But I am!!!! This is what I thought about them when they first aired six months ago. We lurve the ending. Snaps for pissy Mac.

I don't. I prefer to make my perverts work harder. And no, that's not me. I told you, you have to work harder!!!

Saw Poseidon yesterday with Imladris and The Boy, and, I don't know, maybe I'm just like freakishly easy to please or something, but I thought it was quite good. It wasn't too long, it was very fast-paced but never overtly cheesy (once you get past the fact that they're on an upside-down boat), and it had Rebecca Giles from Bridget Jones 2 plus like twenty-five pounds. We love that part. I'm such a vindictive bitch.

Emmy Rossum plays a vapid pretty girl who swims in this. Which is a stretch for her, as she is probably most well-known for her POTO role where she plays a vapid pretty girl who sings. Or Day After Tomorrow where she plays a vapid pretty girl who...wait. What does she do in that movie??? Okay, but she pretty much sucks. And, gotta admit, that made me feel a Little Bit Good About Myself.

Isn't it amazing how only the people who you know are gonna look really good wet escaped??? And then they killed all the minorities. Even "Stacy Ferguson", who is apparently too good to go by Fergie anymore but...um...kind of plays herself. Yeah. And actually quite moving/upsetting, actually. Maybe I'm going through a maternal stage or something, but everything with the little boy upset me.

Some of the dialogue was a teensy bit funny, though. "I'm an architect. These ships weren't made to float upside down." No shit. I'm just an architect's daughter and I figured that one out.

OMG, JOSH LUCS- SOOOOOOO HOT. MUST GET TO HIM BEFORE IMLADRIS TURNS 18. (Don't want to get her too upset, though, lest she break out the Ken dolls again.) WANT HIM SOOOO MUCH!!!! Good acting, too.

Well, my icons stoppped working, so I guess this is the end of the post. I don't feel like not having icons...enjoy TV tonight- six and half hours of season finale goodness!!!

My Inner Pop-Culture Whore is Tired

She has been watching emotionally draining season/series finales all week. She now realizes that she needs to spend the summer with real people. Except they're generally not as attractive as fake ones. And not armed either. Which really spices up her dramas...

Anyhoodles, Is this like a thing now??? Eh, if I could go from sushi waitress to my own island I'd probably marry Nicolas Cage too. Even with the freaky-ass mustache he sports in World Trade Center. I'm not a proud person.

Just thought I'd toss a little political statement in here. Spice things up.

Imladris is off bridging. We're so not good Girl Scouts. I somehow failed when my mom was the leader, and Imladris made it to high school without ever having bridged. Yeah. We kind of suck at most group activities. I think I was the first person to get kicked out of 4H.

I'm sitting here listening to my iPod, again on the computor with iTunes. Sill cool. I'm buying a thingy so I can play it in the car---yayness!!! I cannot begin to afford the iHome base that has an alarm clock and gradual alarms (no idea what that is, but doesn't it sound cool???), so I'm asking for that for my birthday. Also have convinced myself that I need an armband. Yeah. Even though I do next to no exercise. That's okay. I'm okay with myself. ;)

I think I shall go make garlic bread and watch CSI reruns on Spike. I am now a slut for CSI:Vegas. Wait. That came out wrong.

Da Vinci Code and Sir Paul

Oh, the View girls are screaming about the Da Vinci Code. No, really, they're all trying to yell over each other. It's a little annoying, really. And I can't figure out what they're saying. So I'll pretend I'm on the show and yell a little on my blog.

Well, more like blog quietly, because I'm frankly a little sick of the whole thing. Honestly. I'm one of the three people in the US who have never read the book, and I haven't exactly sought out information (except a Wikipedia article, which was actually more confusing) but just by having been conscious since 2003 I know the whole damn plot. I know the secrets, I know the little code thingies, I know the critics have now panned both the book and now the movie, and I know that somebody has got to tie Tom Hanks down and take a scissors to that thing that's growing out the back of his head. EVERYBODY KNOWS. There is a Da Vinci Code story du jour in the paper every morning. That's pretty much the only thing that AOL has on their news thingy. People has a running count of the South American countries that are going on hunger strikes or something because of it. Even my Inner Pop Culture Whore is like, "Why is everybody so happy/freaked out???"

I don't care. I know it's probably a cop out, but I just can't make myself get so worked up about a badly written novel. Because it is a novel. I understand the Vatican having to issue a warning about not supporting the book or movie, because people are such morons that they can't tell fact from fiction, but I think everybody with half a brain should be able to see the difference. I don't think Christ was married. I don't think da Vinci had anything other than experimenting with fresco on his mind when he did The Last Supper (and really, if he was going to include hints as to the whereabouts of the "Holy Grail" in anything, would it have been in the work that started crumbling five years after it was created??? I think not.), and I really do think that the Mona Lisa is simply a painting of Lisa Ghereradini, hence the name "Mona Lisa" or "My Lady Lisa" in Italian. Yeah, Lisa was apparently not winning any beauty contests, but I don't think it's a self-portrait. And even if it is, I'm failing to see the connection between Leonardo having had some unresolved gender issues and knowing that Christ married Mary Magdalene. And I really, really, don't think that there is a huge conspiracy theory within the Catholic Church to squash women, considering the first Masses were actually said by women.

So no, I'm not going to see the movie. But I really think people need to just chill out and stop burning copies in effigy. And I still love Opie and Forrest Gump. It's going to take a lot more than a ridiculous story take that away from me!!!

That was my religious rant for the day.

In other, slightly lighter news, my aunt can die a happy women knowing that Heather is not capable of making Paul happy. It's a little sick, but I'm sure she's pleased.

HAHAHA. *ahem* Okay, so all of my shows are ending. And I'm a little bit upset. Okay, a lot upset. If they hit anything above Flack's neck today, I will have to cry. Really.

Back to depressing, I guess, they released the trailer for Oliver Stone's World Trade Center, coming out in August. I'm not going to link it here, because I find it hard to believe anyone who reads this really wants to see it, but you can find it on ew.com. This is going to sound trite, but it's really sad. Not quite as sad as United 93, which left me crying in a theater, but still pretty sad. I'm not mad at Nicolas Cage anymore (except for the mustache. That's tragic.) because it looks quite respectful and all, but I still think it's too soon. It hasn't been five years yet. They did Pearl Harbor sixty years later and people still got upset. I think we need at least ten. But that's just my opinion.

Yay- got a hair appointment today so I don't have to wash my hair!! How lazy am I??? I schedule my appointments so that somebody else can wash my hair for me. That's a whole new level of laziness.

Updated my TV blog yesterday, so read and comment. Imladris will appreciate the title...

Have a good day everybody!!! :)

How much do we love that Jen still hasn't really lost all the baby weight???

A lot. That's how much.

My Inner Pop Culture Whore Is So Happy For Her

She is totally on Team Nicole.

President Bush Is Trying to Ruin My Life

Oh yeah. I am now the proud owner of one of these babies. And now the little earbuds have everybody else's icky ear wax all over them because everyone must listen to it. I'm getting a little tired of that, actually. Know how much I love it? I'm listening to it as I type. On the computor with iTunes on it. So I theoretically could pull that up in the background and listen to the exact same music. But that is not nearly as fun, don't you think??? Anyhoodles, this is so much fun I'm kind of surprised that I didn't sell myself find some way to buy one before. We officially love anonymous. Not that I didn't before, but now I have a dollar amount on my love. It's always better that way, right??? Waiting rooms just got way easier. Which is good when you spend as much time in them as I do.

(There would totally be a cute icon, probably about 24 or something RIGHT HERE, but blogger.com doesn't feel like putting pictures up. They can go to hell, right with whoever decided tonight was a good night for a primetime chat with the President [see following rant].)

OMG, y'all. You know who is addressing the nation tonight (big hint right there)??? The prez. About immigration. Okay, unless he's announcing that we're going actually declare war on Mexico, I don't need to hear about it in primetime during the last week of shows!!! Compassionate conservative my ass. Compassionate is letting people watch 24 at the appointed time. Now he's just a mean conservative. And I have three different stations to tape tonight, and I have absolutely no idea when any of my shows are going to be one. Because you know thent he democrats are going to have to have their rebuttal where they say essentially the same thing but in different terms and then yell about popularity polls for twenty minutes while Ted and Robin may or may not be heading down a different path that I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do however, realize, that they probably will not actually meet the Mother tonight, as Imladris informed me at seven this morning when I was seething and tossing things about in the kitchen. Whatever. She doesn't watch the show, so she doesn't realize how important this is. *pouts*

And really, I've heard he doesn't watch a whole lot of TV, but couldn't one of his little people be like, "Okay, sir, we understand that this is a major issue. But it's not freakin' going away. Denny and Dr. Burke on Grey's Anatomy, however, could be. And Jack only has two hours left to take down the evil president (who, btw, is more popular that you are right now, so I'd hold off pissing around with FOX viewer, k???). Oh, and a lot of people want to see if Lily and Marshall actually get married or not, because they are just so cute together. And did you know that Horatio Caine got married and somebody gunned down his cancer-ridden maybe-pregnant bride???? Really sir, I think we should do this next week..." I would have appreciated that.

It's probably a good thing that his two terms are up, because my Inner Pop-Culture Whore, while being a staunch Republican, would have been screaming really loudly at me to vote for the other guy, as this is his third time interrupting my viewing. Last fall he made me wait another week for the CSI:NY premiere, which sucked, and then the damn State of the Union pushed House off another week. Seriously. Somebody needs to talk to the man.

Update: FOX announced the time that 24 will actually be starting. Thank goodness. Now I just have to worry about CBS and ABC.

Totally changing the subject, Cry by James Blunt is my new favorite song. So good. I'd link it here, but I totally don't know how to do that with a song. I'm so technologically challenged. But y'all should go find it and listen to it, okay??? And I don't like it just because I will pretty much like anybody with an accent. It was used on Without a Trace last week, when they decided to get political and not tell us who died. I was not pleased with that. Damn them.

So I woke up this morning all bright-eyed and bushy tailed and had a whole list of things I was going to do. And then I made coffee and killed a couple hours on the internet, and somehow writing thank-you notes and sorting through my papers from this semester doesn't seem like so much fun anymore. Even with the help of my trusty iPod. Hmmm. I think I shall have to go do something about that.

Bird Flu

You need to punch up your procedural crime drama because it's May sweeps and you've already pimped out every single DA in the damn office??? Well, you're in luck, CBS writers---this year we have avian influenza!!! Seriously, it's making the rounds of the crime dramas- last night on Numbers one of the girls being smuggled in for the sex trade had bird flu. Just adds that little hint of OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! to make people pay attention. Even though every single time they trot it out nothing happens because despite the CBS movie of the week aptly title OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, nobody has gotten sick. Sheesh. It would be way scarier if it was a real pandemic.

I'm sitting here obsessively eating the little bits of heaven butterscotch cookies that my dad just made. They are freakin' awesome. I don't care that we're ordering tons of Boston Market in three hours. I'm hungry now, dammit.

In pop culture news, my Inner Pop-Culture Whore is very confused by the latest in the Denise v. Charlie Match of Death. She is not a mother, but she is fairly certain that she would not allow an ex who threatened her life and then visited child porn websites to see her children. She is starting to think that maybe the charges were a teeny bit trumped up, or Denise Richards is very, very stupid. This does not mean that she likes Charlie any better. After his sitcom ends on Monday he will be dead to her *spits*.

She would also like everybody to know that she would be more than happy to help Josh Lucas with that settling down and having kids thing. Except then maybe Imladris would kill her. Painfully. And then steal the pumps featured in the previous post.

I Want These Shoes

While I will not go so far as to offer to sell one of my siblings for it (*cough*Imladris*cough*), I will say that Isaac Mizrahi owns my soul. And I will own his lovely black linean slingbacks as soon as I can get my hands on a credit card. My parents owe me so much money anyways, I don't think they'd notice if I added twenty-eight bucks to the total. Anybody looking for a last minute graduation gift---target.com. Under Pumps. :)

As I am a snob, I do find it slightly amazing that I now go to Target for all of my shoe needs. But I am a Target snob. I buy a lot of clothes there too. In fact, sometimes I can't afford those. It's a sad day when you realize that Target is too expensive for you. Oh the drain of higher education.

Jane Kaczmarek is on Ellen now talking about her family handing down the meat grinder and how important this is to the Polish. I wonder if she then obsessively freezes her ground meat??? It would be interesting to find out...

I've been crazily watching my CSI DVDs, rather like a chipmunk storing nuts (or whatever it is chipmunks actually eat) for winter. Except I'm storing dead bodies for four months of summer with nothing but the lowest common denominator of reality shows to keep me company. And I've really fallen completely in love with it. I didn't dislike it before, but I just wasn't that into it. Not so anymore. It is quickly rivaling New York for my favorite. Greg was quite funny in the beginning, when he was just the flunkie CSI, and Sara apparently only turned into a scary lesbian tough girl after season two. Really. She scares me a little now.

Okay, I know the site is in German, but just read the cpation. It made my day.

Have to go feed my horse in the pouring rain. These are the days of my youth...

Lupe greatly appreciates the washing machine

She was sans washer for three days. She was not pleased.

Well, children, I am officially out of high school, officially employed, and officially have nothing to do all summer except haul myself to aformentioned employment twenty hours a week. Which should not be too stressful, as they give me a lovely discount. As curious about the discount as I am, I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't open with that...



Anyhoodles, I'm also done with school. While I was a little upset when I left yesterday morning, I felt significantly less melancholy when I came home and drowned my sorrows in fund raiser kringle that my sister brought home because she feels compelled to support every single cause and CSI DVDs (purchased for fifty five dollars less than the suggested retail price. I rock.). I'm a simple girl, really.

So kind of just lounged yesterday. Well, really, I took a nap because I was so exhausted. I haven't napped since I was three. I must have been really tired. And then we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner- YAY!!!! Lots and lots and lots of food. And lots and lots of leftovers.

Raced home in just enough time for CSI:NY...oh my freakin' gosh. Look for a post on this later on today- doing nothing takes a lot out of you, ya know. My Inner Shipper was thrilled that they all went out for drinks. My Inner Pop-Culture Whore wants to go out for drinks with them too. Sadly, the more intelligent part of me agrees. She thinks that would be da bomb. Yes, she also realizes that "da bomb" went out six years ago. She doesn't care.

So I'm kind of loving this summer schedule thing (especially since it's pouring rain and 47 degrees, thus negating the possibility of having to wear short sleeves or *gasp* shorts). I took my sister to school, went back to bed, leisurely did my little bike/treadmill time while watching Ellen on Oxygen, and then made coffee in time for Regis and Kelly. And the best part? This goes on for four months!!! I go back on September 5th, as in five days short of four months from yesterday. Oh, I do love my life.

So, you ask, what is going on in the world of pop culture??? Well, Ashley Simpson might have gotten a nose job but she sure as hell isn't telling us about it. Yeah. Ashley, honey, unless they did it to try to make your voice better, this won't help your career. Pieces of Me was catching and I'm ashamed to say I love it, but it's over now. Let it go.

*gasp* H does so have more than one face!!!

Before I go off to do ...oh, nothing, this is quite interesting and annoying because it shows you exactly how much you do not know. Bugger, right??? Well, except for me, who got sixteen out of twenty (including the CSI one, natch).

Finally, explanation on the new name- obviously, it's the first line from Pride and Prejudice. As much as I agree with the last one, and as devoted to Tolstoy as I am, I think this one is better. I feel the need for an icon to commemorate it...

Have a good day, everybody!!! :)

My Inner Pop-Culture Whore Cannot Resist

Oops, I did it again.

Experimentation

I'm experimenting with new titles today, people. First up, my boy Leo Tolstoy. In as much as a nineteenth century Russian author can be my boy. Whatever. I'm gangsta like that.


Oprah's on, talking to Lance Armstrong's ex. And she's supposedly going to tell us the secret mistake that most women make when they're married. And she's not saying anything other than not to give up too much of yourself for you husband. What? Isn't that kind of, um, not a secret??? Sheesh. Women who talk to much about feelings and crap bug me. In fact, Oprah bugs me. Oh, look, Oprah's whole show today is about crazy emotional marriages where people think too much. Sheesh. I may have to stop watching, 'cause she's really starting to bug me. OMG, THE CAST OF WILL & GRACE IS GOING TO BE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN!!!! MUST WATCH!!!!!!!!! (Excuse me, my Inner Pop-Culture Whore is tired of searching for Neitzsche quotes and wants some juiciness.)

And juiciness she shall have. Nicole was completely blindsided by her breakup with Tom. Oh Tom. What the hell??? How could you hurt her??? She's Nicole Kidman for heaven's sakes. Bastard. I almost regret seeing M:I:III. Almost. My Inner Pop-Culture Whore is also intrigued by things that go boom. She's pretty easy to please, actually.

Aphotic

My word of the day e-mail. Couldn't think of a title.

Finals taken: 2
Finals Failed: 2
Finals Left: 2
Finals I Care About: 0
Percent of me that cares about anything that doesn't involve me and a pillow anymore: 3%

It's finals week!! And do you know how I studied??? Well, Saturday I went out for coffee. And then I drank mint juleps and watched The Kentucky Derby. On Sunday I saw two movies and spent the evening marveling at the unbelievably amazing hotness acting of Kiefer Sutherland on 24. And then I watched Grey's Anatomy (see update). I did not look at the little review sheety thingies until this morning. When I was cursing at them. I am such a bad student. But you know that point you get to where you don't care anymore??? Yeah. I passed that last Thursday. I'm kind of not even sad anymore. Now I just want to get out, get a job, and get on with life.

Le anyhoodles, M:I:III did really poorly this weekend. Like $48 million poorly. I think it was mainly Tom. Except that I, who is decidedly on the opposing side of almost any debate involving Tom, was able to like him in this movie. I think it's because God genetically engineered women to love him, and unless he's really doing something to piss me off I automatically revert to liking, or at least not being repulsed by, him. Oh well, I did my part and saw it yesterday-not because of Tom but because I have a feeling that my Inner Pop-Culture Whore would have eaten me from the inside out if I didn't let her see it. If she wasn't such a good Catholic she'd be on this Da Vinci Code thing just because everybody else likes it (did anybody else see SNL this weekend??? Opie299...so funny. We love Tom Hanks. We are going to marry his son and run a very profitable wedding planning business off of all of his rich friends. But that's probably a whole other entry.)

It was quite good, lots of pretty people and things and go Boom, but I got really car sick during it. I don't know if it was because I hadn't eaten since that morning or what, but I was really dizzy by the end. And the girlfriend/fiancee/wife was incredibly annoying. Twenty minutes in I was just like, "Yeah, whatever. Put one in her head, Capote." And Philip Seymour Hoffman is way more intimidating when he doesn't sound like Jerry Lewis.

Also saw RV this weekend. Yeah, that would totally be us. Daddy could take out the fence. I've seen him drive a boat traier. It's scary.

Kentucky Derby was on this weekend- yay!!! I don't care how far removed from my little horseback riding stage, I will always love racing. Barbaro won, which was completely good because he was trained by the guy who saved a bunch of little kids from a burning plane. Awww... We were rooting for him. Well, we would have been happy about the Lewis horse winning, too, but that obviously didn't happen.

Then we watched Seabiscuit because ABC was totally capitalizing on the Derby and was showing it at night. Oh. *tear* That is simply the best movie ever made. I'm kind of sad it wasn't released in a year with like nothing else because it could have taken best picture. I always end up crying during the last race when Tobey McGuire is going doing the broken speech, so good. So good. We loves Seabiscuit.


I am now the proud owner of Season 2 of CSI. You know, before the creature crawled onto Nick's face and died. For only $11.50. How great a bargain shopper am I???

Going to go make artwork flashcards. Fun.

Kathleen is still depressed about school, so this is from her Inner Pop-Culture Whore

This is what happens when Prince Charming just doesn't show up...

The Way We Were

No, not the creepy movie with the uncomfortable awkward scene where you're like, "Really?? He was asleep??? Bummer...", but rather the song. Or, more correctly, memories.

I've been very retrospective today for a couple of different reasons- it's the tenth anniversary of my first Communion, and it's my last day of high school. The first Communion one isn't too life-shattering, I mean, it is because it's a sacrament, but it doesn't really change anything. It just makes me feel old.

But I'm really upset about the high school thing. I just love it here so much that I can't imagine having to walk out of here on Wednesday after my last exam and not ever come back. And it's so weird because I never thought four years ago that I would end up not wanting high school to end (well, if I had stayed at that place I would be clawing at the walls...). Fifteen to eighteen is a big change, and this place is responsible for a lot of that change. Do you know what a different person I would be if I hadn't come here??? I think about that every afternoon when I pick up my sister and see people that I used to know walking out to their cars. That could be me. I could still be there. I would be miserable and way less intelligent and all that stuff, but I would also be a completely different person. Even Stalker Boy is a fond memory now. Everything I've learned, and experienced int he past few years has been because of the decision I made.A really, really, really hard decision. Do you know what it's like to walk into college at fifteen??? Freakin' scary. My mom had to drop me off. I couldn't drive yet. I was a year older than my little brother. That's so weird.

And it kind of made me question how anyone could doubt that God has a hand in our lives, because there is absolutely no rational explanation for why my life turned out the way it did. Looking back it makes perfect sense, but it certainly didn't at the time. I was eight when I suggested to my mom that we homeschool. EIGHT. And not an intelligent eight, let me tell you. I had just learned to read, really. For some reason she listened to me, and that completely changed our family. I know now why I decided so quickly about going to high school, because I never could have been content with any decision until I saw the soul-sucking bueocracy that is the American school system first hand. And why my mom's friend called that morning and said her daughter was going to Concordia (which she didn't end up doing) is beyond me. But everything kind of fell together. It's almost enough to make me think maybe I won't die alone and barren, to be found by dogs with Bridget Jones's Diary looping on the DVD player in the background.

Anyhoodles, I'm late, so everybody have a good day!!! :)

May

Oh, May. I dislike this month, as it generally signifies the onset of hot weather and humidity and unflattering-unless-you're-five-eight-and-a-hundred-and-ten-pounds-like-my-sister styles. You can see why I don't like it. And it always sneaks up on you, doesn't it? You have yourself all convinced that you live in a "cold" city and things are going to be just fine and then-boom- it's eighty degrees and I'm sporting a fluffy red pyramid on my head. Oh, this is not good. Not good at all. It's supposed to be 72 degrees today. I think I shall be sad. *sniff*

So faithful readers- are we all geared up for a constant three hour entertainment overload this evening? I am, and have the update to prove it. Yes, I am awesome. I deserve to be paid for this. It would certainly be better than desperately searching for a job when you look like CRAP on paper. Sheesh. I would be a really good secretary. Does anybody need a secretary???

OMG, I am officially seeing M:I:3 in spite of Tom Cruise. Dude's a bastard. He's not even hot anymore. In this article, he waxes nostaligic about Suri's birth, and how he just loves looking at her face. How do you do that, Tom??? You're in Europe, and she's in LA. Maybe Katie the Doormat e-mails you pictures??? Although you're probably too busy to get them. Even though you love her so much, right???

I shudder to think what I would be capable of if my husband announced that he was going to Rome to promote a stupid movie that will kill everything else except maybe the Da Vinci Code because people are such morons that they can't separate fact from fiction because it's already so damn popular the week after I gave birth. All they would find would be teeny tiny pieces of Tom in the Seine. Maybe. If the guy I hired did a sloppy job.

Got to watch Good Night and Good Luck in government today. No, I am not above getting credit for watching George Clooney. This is a very good era for George to play. OMG, I want him!!!!!!!!!!!! He's really quite interesting in this movie. *ahem*

Finally, Ryan apparently realized that Teri is a girl and called off the relationship. If she wasn't dumb enough to go out with Ryan Seacrest, I'd feel kind of sorry for her. I also feel sorry for her because she's apparently the only person who can have the third most watched show in the nation and still be a has-been. Really. Does anybody mention her anymore???

Time to start choosing sides with people you've never met!!! And stay away from Chandler, Charlie. You will turn him into a manwhore.

Greek Tragedy

I told you my Inner Pop-Culture Whore liked bad puns.. She would be laughing so hard right now if she could pry her jaw off the floor.

McCarthyism

Dammit, why do I miss all the interesting stuff in history??? The moon landing, Watergate, rabid senators hunting down commies- I'm too young for all of it. I get stuck with depressing terrorism. And while the lovely descriptive newspapers were responsible for my Birds and Bees education (and my sister's, come to think of it, when I destroyed her childlike innocence described the scandal to her), Monicagate didn't exactly shape my youth. What am I going to tell my children about? "Fall of the Berlin Wall? Nah, I was two. But there was this anthrax scare...Most of it was teenagers and baby powder though..." They're not going to be very enthused. I don't blame them.

I began thinking about my woefully inadequate current events youth (through no fault of my parents, because God knows they dragged exposed us to massive amounsts of historical stuff) as we did our little preliminary stuff because we get to watch Good Night and Good Luck in government this week. Frankly, I don't think that we need a primer to appreciate George Clooney, but whatever.

The fifties would be so much more fun. Except then I wouldn't have CSI. Or VH1. Or People magazine. In fact, my Inner Pop-Culture Whore is now informing me that she doesn't particularly care what world events we get to see, as long as she is being constantly bombarded by juicy tidbits from other people's lives. She is content with having no life experiences of her own while there are other, prettier people having life experiences elsewhere that she can read about. My Inner Pop-Culture Whore is not very bright.

(Icons won't work. I am crazy with rage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Teeny, tiny bit of celebrity gossip to shut my Inner Pop-Culture Whore up long enough to finish class...bitch will not be quiet. She will not rest until she knows whether Britney is "Baby One More Time" or just retaining water. Inner Pop-Culture Whore also likes bad puns.

Oh good Lord. The judicial system just dropped ten points in my esteem. Please tell me they have better things to do than this???