The Way We Were

No, not the creepy movie with the uncomfortable awkward scene where you're like, "Really?? He was asleep??? Bummer...", but rather the song. Or, more correctly, memories.

I've been very retrospective today for a couple of different reasons- it's the tenth anniversary of my first Communion, and it's my last day of high school. The first Communion one isn't too life-shattering, I mean, it is because it's a sacrament, but it doesn't really change anything. It just makes me feel old.

But I'm really upset about the high school thing. I just love it here so much that I can't imagine having to walk out of here on Wednesday after my last exam and not ever come back. And it's so weird because I never thought four years ago that I would end up not wanting high school to end (well, if I had stayed at that place I would be clawing at the walls...). Fifteen to eighteen is a big change, and this place is responsible for a lot of that change. Do you know what a different person I would be if I hadn't come here??? I think about that every afternoon when I pick up my sister and see people that I used to know walking out to their cars. That could be me. I could still be there. I would be miserable and way less intelligent and all that stuff, but I would also be a completely different person. Even Stalker Boy is a fond memory now. Everything I've learned, and experienced int he past few years has been because of the decision I made.A really, really, really hard decision. Do you know what it's like to walk into college at fifteen??? Freakin' scary. My mom had to drop me off. I couldn't drive yet. I was a year older than my little brother. That's so weird.

And it kind of made me question how anyone could doubt that God has a hand in our lives, because there is absolutely no rational explanation for why my life turned out the way it did. Looking back it makes perfect sense, but it certainly didn't at the time. I was eight when I suggested to my mom that we homeschool. EIGHT. And not an intelligent eight, let me tell you. I had just learned to read, really. For some reason she listened to me, and that completely changed our family. I know now why I decided so quickly about going to high school, because I never could have been content with any decision until I saw the soul-sucking bueocracy that is the American school system first hand. And why my mom's friend called that morning and said her daughter was going to Concordia (which she didn't end up doing) is beyond me. But everything kind of fell together. It's almost enough to make me think maybe I won't die alone and barren, to be found by dogs with Bridget Jones's Diary looping on the DVD player in the background.

Anyhoodles, I'm late, so everybody have a good day!!! :)