Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I have a date with my bottle of NyQuil tonight, but first...

Dear Rebels Who Planned the Easter Rising,

Oh. My. Lord.

I'm a history major. I've seen a lot of stupid decisions. Really, really stupid decisions. Like when six different generals decided to run into Moscow in October without bringing a coat? Like when the Germans developed poison gas but then the wind changed and they hadn't thought to develop gas masks too? When countless forces storm embankments on which their enemies are perched with guns? When Poland met the Austiran empire and the German army with horses? Even when Britain partitioned four different states despite the fact that it had never, and mostly likely will never, work. EVER.

Stupid choices, all.

Not as stupid, however, as this. What, exactly, were you thinking? Following an emo poet to certain death armed only with the guns the freaking Russians (who, like, just got flush toilets) didn't want just to piss off the British in the middle of the first world war.

You know when you're a kid? How when your mom is distracted and just trying to make dinner and you are whining about Spongebob Squarepants for the third time that day? And then she snaps because my God, I am just trying to make Hamburger Helper and you will get Spongebob after dinner like I promised you?

If Britain is your mom, dealing with the worstest war ever is the Hamburger Helper, and Home Rule is Spongebob? That's the situation.

Except I'm pretty sure that kid never declared a provisional government.

I'm just guessing.

That is all.

Love,
Morena

3 comments:

imladris said...

Ahahaha Home Rule Spongebob!

mickey said...

if you had written the history books my teachers used I might have enjoyed history.....I was NOT a history major!!!

rockford said...

When did we have hamburger helper while someone whined about SpongeBob??? Really, when did anyone ever even whine about Spongebob??? Oh, was this just a random example and I am taking it too literally??? :)