My Inner Pop-Culture Whore is Tired

She has been watching emotionally draining season/series finales all week. She now realizes that she needs to spend the summer with real people. Except they're generally not as attractive as fake ones. And not armed either. Which really spices up her dramas...

Anyhoodles, Is this like a thing now??? Eh, if I could go from sushi waitress to my own island I'd probably marry Nicolas Cage too. Even with the freaky-ass mustache he sports in World Trade Center. I'm not a proud person.

Just thought I'd toss a little political statement in here. Spice things up.

Imladris is off bridging. We're so not good Girl Scouts. I somehow failed when my mom was the leader, and Imladris made it to high school without ever having bridged. Yeah. We kind of suck at most group activities. I think I was the first person to get kicked out of 4H.

I'm sitting here listening to my iPod, again on the computor with iTunes. Sill cool. I'm buying a thingy so I can play it in the car---yayness!!! I cannot begin to afford the iHome base that has an alarm clock and gradual alarms (no idea what that is, but doesn't it sound cool???), so I'm asking for that for my birthday. Also have convinced myself that I need an armband. Yeah. Even though I do next to no exercise. That's okay. I'm okay with myself. ;)

I think I shall go make garlic bread and watch CSI reruns on Spike. I am now a slut for CSI:Vegas. Wait. That came out wrong.

Da Vinci Code and Sir Paul

Oh, the View girls are screaming about the Da Vinci Code. No, really, they're all trying to yell over each other. It's a little annoying, really. And I can't figure out what they're saying. So I'll pretend I'm on the show and yell a little on my blog.

Well, more like blog quietly, because I'm frankly a little sick of the whole thing. Honestly. I'm one of the three people in the US who have never read the book, and I haven't exactly sought out information (except a Wikipedia article, which was actually more confusing) but just by having been conscious since 2003 I know the whole damn plot. I know the secrets, I know the little code thingies, I know the critics have now panned both the book and now the movie, and I know that somebody has got to tie Tom Hanks down and take a scissors to that thing that's growing out the back of his head. EVERYBODY KNOWS. There is a Da Vinci Code story du jour in the paper every morning. That's pretty much the only thing that AOL has on their news thingy. People has a running count of the South American countries that are going on hunger strikes or something because of it. Even my Inner Pop Culture Whore is like, "Why is everybody so happy/freaked out???"

I don't care. I know it's probably a cop out, but I just can't make myself get so worked up about a badly written novel. Because it is a novel. I understand the Vatican having to issue a warning about not supporting the book or movie, because people are such morons that they can't tell fact from fiction, but I think everybody with half a brain should be able to see the difference. I don't think Christ was married. I don't think da Vinci had anything other than experimenting with fresco on his mind when he did The Last Supper (and really, if he was going to include hints as to the whereabouts of the "Holy Grail" in anything, would it have been in the work that started crumbling five years after it was created??? I think not.), and I really do think that the Mona Lisa is simply a painting of Lisa Ghereradini, hence the name "Mona Lisa" or "My Lady Lisa" in Italian. Yeah, Lisa was apparently not winning any beauty contests, but I don't think it's a self-portrait. And even if it is, I'm failing to see the connection between Leonardo having had some unresolved gender issues and knowing that Christ married Mary Magdalene. And I really, really, don't think that there is a huge conspiracy theory within the Catholic Church to squash women, considering the first Masses were actually said by women.

So no, I'm not going to see the movie. But I really think people need to just chill out and stop burning copies in effigy. And I still love Opie and Forrest Gump. It's going to take a lot more than a ridiculous story take that away from me!!!

That was my religious rant for the day.

In other, slightly lighter news, my aunt can die a happy women knowing that Heather is not capable of making Paul happy. It's a little sick, but I'm sure she's pleased.

HAHAHA. *ahem* Okay, so all of my shows are ending. And I'm a little bit upset. Okay, a lot upset. If they hit anything above Flack's neck today, I will have to cry. Really.

Back to depressing, I guess, they released the trailer for Oliver Stone's World Trade Center, coming out in August. I'm not going to link it here, because I find it hard to believe anyone who reads this really wants to see it, but you can find it on ew.com. This is going to sound trite, but it's really sad. Not quite as sad as United 93, which left me crying in a theater, but still pretty sad. I'm not mad at Nicolas Cage anymore (except for the mustache. That's tragic.) because it looks quite respectful and all, but I still think it's too soon. It hasn't been five years yet. They did Pearl Harbor sixty years later and people still got upset. I think we need at least ten. But that's just my opinion.

Yay- got a hair appointment today so I don't have to wash my hair!! How lazy am I??? I schedule my appointments so that somebody else can wash my hair for me. That's a whole new level of laziness.

Updated my TV blog yesterday, so read and comment. Imladris will appreciate the title...

Have a good day everybody!!! :)

How much do we love that Jen still hasn't really lost all the baby weight???

A lot. That's how much.

My Inner Pop Culture Whore Is So Happy For Her

She is totally on Team Nicole.

President Bush Is Trying to Ruin My Life

Oh yeah. I am now the proud owner of one of these babies. And now the little earbuds have everybody else's icky ear wax all over them because everyone must listen to it. I'm getting a little tired of that, actually. Know how much I love it? I'm listening to it as I type. On the computor with iTunes on it. So I theoretically could pull that up in the background and listen to the exact same music. But that is not nearly as fun, don't you think??? Anyhoodles, this is so much fun I'm kind of surprised that I didn't sell myself find some way to buy one before. We officially love anonymous. Not that I didn't before, but now I have a dollar amount on my love. It's always better that way, right??? Waiting rooms just got way easier. Which is good when you spend as much time in them as I do.

(There would totally be a cute icon, probably about 24 or something RIGHT HERE, but blogger.com doesn't feel like putting pictures up. They can go to hell, right with whoever decided tonight was a good night for a primetime chat with the President [see following rant].)

OMG, y'all. You know who is addressing the nation tonight (big hint right there)??? The prez. About immigration. Okay, unless he's announcing that we're going actually declare war on Mexico, I don't need to hear about it in primetime during the last week of shows!!! Compassionate conservative my ass. Compassionate is letting people watch 24 at the appointed time. Now he's just a mean conservative. And I have three different stations to tape tonight, and I have absolutely no idea when any of my shows are going to be one. Because you know thent he democrats are going to have to have their rebuttal where they say essentially the same thing but in different terms and then yell about popularity polls for twenty minutes while Ted and Robin may or may not be heading down a different path that I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do however, realize, that they probably will not actually meet the Mother tonight, as Imladris informed me at seven this morning when I was seething and tossing things about in the kitchen. Whatever. She doesn't watch the show, so she doesn't realize how important this is. *pouts*

And really, I've heard he doesn't watch a whole lot of TV, but couldn't one of his little people be like, "Okay, sir, we understand that this is a major issue. But it's not freakin' going away. Denny and Dr. Burke on Grey's Anatomy, however, could be. And Jack only has two hours left to take down the evil president (who, btw, is more popular that you are right now, so I'd hold off pissing around with FOX viewer, k???). Oh, and a lot of people want to see if Lily and Marshall actually get married or not, because they are just so cute together. And did you know that Horatio Caine got married and somebody gunned down his cancer-ridden maybe-pregnant bride???? Really sir, I think we should do this next week..." I would have appreciated that.

It's probably a good thing that his two terms are up, because my Inner Pop-Culture Whore, while being a staunch Republican, would have been screaming really loudly at me to vote for the other guy, as this is his third time interrupting my viewing. Last fall he made me wait another week for the CSI:NY premiere, which sucked, and then the damn State of the Union pushed House off another week. Seriously. Somebody needs to talk to the man.

Update: FOX announced the time that 24 will actually be starting. Thank goodness. Now I just have to worry about CBS and ABC.

Totally changing the subject, Cry by James Blunt is my new favorite song. So good. I'd link it here, but I totally don't know how to do that with a song. I'm so technologically challenged. But y'all should go find it and listen to it, okay??? And I don't like it just because I will pretty much like anybody with an accent. It was used on Without a Trace last week, when they decided to get political and not tell us who died. I was not pleased with that. Damn them.

So I woke up this morning all bright-eyed and bushy tailed and had a whole list of things I was going to do. And then I made coffee and killed a couple hours on the internet, and somehow writing thank-you notes and sorting through my papers from this semester doesn't seem like so much fun anymore. Even with the help of my trusty iPod. Hmmm. I think I shall have to go do something about that.

Bird Flu

You need to punch up your procedural crime drama because it's May sweeps and you've already pimped out every single DA in the damn office??? Well, you're in luck, CBS writers---this year we have avian influenza!!! Seriously, it's making the rounds of the crime dramas- last night on Numbers one of the girls being smuggled in for the sex trade had bird flu. Just adds that little hint of OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! to make people pay attention. Even though every single time they trot it out nothing happens because despite the CBS movie of the week aptly title OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, nobody has gotten sick. Sheesh. It would be way scarier if it was a real pandemic.

I'm sitting here obsessively eating the little bits of heaven butterscotch cookies that my dad just made. They are freakin' awesome. I don't care that we're ordering tons of Boston Market in three hours. I'm hungry now, dammit.

In pop culture news, my Inner Pop-Culture Whore is very confused by the latest in the Denise v. Charlie Match of Death. She is not a mother, but she is fairly certain that she would not allow an ex who threatened her life and then visited child porn websites to see her children. She is starting to think that maybe the charges were a teeny bit trumped up, or Denise Richards is very, very stupid. This does not mean that she likes Charlie any better. After his sitcom ends on Monday he will be dead to her *spits*.

She would also like everybody to know that she would be more than happy to help Josh Lucas with that settling down and having kids thing. Except then maybe Imladris would kill her. Painfully. And then steal the pumps featured in the previous post.

I Want These Shoes

While I will not go so far as to offer to sell one of my siblings for it (*cough*Imladris*cough*), I will say that Isaac Mizrahi owns my soul. And I will own his lovely black linean slingbacks as soon as I can get my hands on a credit card. My parents owe me so much money anyways, I don't think they'd notice if I added twenty-eight bucks to the total. Anybody looking for a last minute graduation gift---target.com. Under Pumps. :)

As I am a snob, I do find it slightly amazing that I now go to Target for all of my shoe needs. But I am a Target snob. I buy a lot of clothes there too. In fact, sometimes I can't afford those. It's a sad day when you realize that Target is too expensive for you. Oh the drain of higher education.

Jane Kaczmarek is on Ellen now talking about her family handing down the meat grinder and how important this is to the Polish. I wonder if she then obsessively freezes her ground meat??? It would be interesting to find out...

I've been crazily watching my CSI DVDs, rather like a chipmunk storing nuts (or whatever it is chipmunks actually eat) for winter. Except I'm storing dead bodies for four months of summer with nothing but the lowest common denominator of reality shows to keep me company. And I've really fallen completely in love with it. I didn't dislike it before, but I just wasn't that into it. Not so anymore. It is quickly rivaling New York for my favorite. Greg was quite funny in the beginning, when he was just the flunkie CSI, and Sara apparently only turned into a scary lesbian tough girl after season two. Really. She scares me a little now.

Okay, I know the site is in German, but just read the cpation. It made my day.

Have to go feed my horse in the pouring rain. These are the days of my youth...

Lupe greatly appreciates the washing machine

She was sans washer for three days. She was not pleased.

Well, children, I am officially out of high school, officially employed, and officially have nothing to do all summer except haul myself to aformentioned employment twenty hours a week. Which should not be too stressful, as they give me a lovely discount. As curious about the discount as I am, I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't open with that...



Anyhoodles, I'm also done with school. While I was a little upset when I left yesterday morning, I felt significantly less melancholy when I came home and drowned my sorrows in fund raiser kringle that my sister brought home because she feels compelled to support every single cause and CSI DVDs (purchased for fifty five dollars less than the suggested retail price. I rock.). I'm a simple girl, really.

So kind of just lounged yesterday. Well, really, I took a nap because I was so exhausted. I haven't napped since I was three. I must have been really tired. And then we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner- YAY!!!! Lots and lots and lots of food. And lots and lots of leftovers.

Raced home in just enough time for CSI:NY...oh my freakin' gosh. Look for a post on this later on today- doing nothing takes a lot out of you, ya know. My Inner Shipper was thrilled that they all went out for drinks. My Inner Pop-Culture Whore wants to go out for drinks with them too. Sadly, the more intelligent part of me agrees. She thinks that would be da bomb. Yes, she also realizes that "da bomb" went out six years ago. She doesn't care.

So I'm kind of loving this summer schedule thing (especially since it's pouring rain and 47 degrees, thus negating the possibility of having to wear short sleeves or *gasp* shorts). I took my sister to school, went back to bed, leisurely did my little bike/treadmill time while watching Ellen on Oxygen, and then made coffee in time for Regis and Kelly. And the best part? This goes on for four months!!! I go back on September 5th, as in five days short of four months from yesterday. Oh, I do love my life.

So, you ask, what is going on in the world of pop culture??? Well, Ashley Simpson might have gotten a nose job but she sure as hell isn't telling us about it. Yeah. Ashley, honey, unless they did it to try to make your voice better, this won't help your career. Pieces of Me was catching and I'm ashamed to say I love it, but it's over now. Let it go.

*gasp* H does so have more than one face!!!

Before I go off to do ...oh, nothing, this is quite interesting and annoying because it shows you exactly how much you do not know. Bugger, right??? Well, except for me, who got sixteen out of twenty (including the CSI one, natch).

Finally, explanation on the new name- obviously, it's the first line from Pride and Prejudice. As much as I agree with the last one, and as devoted to Tolstoy as I am, I think this one is better. I feel the need for an icon to commemorate it...

Have a good day, everybody!!! :)

My Inner Pop-Culture Whore Cannot Resist

Oops, I did it again.

Experimentation

I'm experimenting with new titles today, people. First up, my boy Leo Tolstoy. In as much as a nineteenth century Russian author can be my boy. Whatever. I'm gangsta like that.


Oprah's on, talking to Lance Armstrong's ex. And she's supposedly going to tell us the secret mistake that most women make when they're married. And she's not saying anything other than not to give up too much of yourself for you husband. What? Isn't that kind of, um, not a secret??? Sheesh. Women who talk to much about feelings and crap bug me. In fact, Oprah bugs me. Oh, look, Oprah's whole show today is about crazy emotional marriages where people think too much. Sheesh. I may have to stop watching, 'cause she's really starting to bug me. OMG, THE CAST OF WILL & GRACE IS GOING TO BE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN!!!! MUST WATCH!!!!!!!!! (Excuse me, my Inner Pop-Culture Whore is tired of searching for Neitzsche quotes and wants some juiciness.)

And juiciness she shall have. Nicole was completely blindsided by her breakup with Tom. Oh Tom. What the hell??? How could you hurt her??? She's Nicole Kidman for heaven's sakes. Bastard. I almost regret seeing M:I:III. Almost. My Inner Pop-Culture Whore is also intrigued by things that go boom. She's pretty easy to please, actually.

Aphotic

My word of the day e-mail. Couldn't think of a title.

Finals taken: 2
Finals Failed: 2
Finals Left: 2
Finals I Care About: 0
Percent of me that cares about anything that doesn't involve me and a pillow anymore: 3%

It's finals week!! And do you know how I studied??? Well, Saturday I went out for coffee. And then I drank mint juleps and watched The Kentucky Derby. On Sunday I saw two movies and spent the evening marveling at the unbelievably amazing hotness acting of Kiefer Sutherland on 24. And then I watched Grey's Anatomy (see update). I did not look at the little review sheety thingies until this morning. When I was cursing at them. I am such a bad student. But you know that point you get to where you don't care anymore??? Yeah. I passed that last Thursday. I'm kind of not even sad anymore. Now I just want to get out, get a job, and get on with life.

Le anyhoodles, M:I:III did really poorly this weekend. Like $48 million poorly. I think it was mainly Tom. Except that I, who is decidedly on the opposing side of almost any debate involving Tom, was able to like him in this movie. I think it's because God genetically engineered women to love him, and unless he's really doing something to piss me off I automatically revert to liking, or at least not being repulsed by, him. Oh well, I did my part and saw it yesterday-not because of Tom but because I have a feeling that my Inner Pop-Culture Whore would have eaten me from the inside out if I didn't let her see it. If she wasn't such a good Catholic she'd be on this Da Vinci Code thing just because everybody else likes it (did anybody else see SNL this weekend??? Opie299...so funny. We love Tom Hanks. We are going to marry his son and run a very profitable wedding planning business off of all of his rich friends. But that's probably a whole other entry.)

It was quite good, lots of pretty people and things and go Boom, but I got really car sick during it. I don't know if it was because I hadn't eaten since that morning or what, but I was really dizzy by the end. And the girlfriend/fiancee/wife was incredibly annoying. Twenty minutes in I was just like, "Yeah, whatever. Put one in her head, Capote." And Philip Seymour Hoffman is way more intimidating when he doesn't sound like Jerry Lewis.

Also saw RV this weekend. Yeah, that would totally be us. Daddy could take out the fence. I've seen him drive a boat traier. It's scary.

Kentucky Derby was on this weekend- yay!!! I don't care how far removed from my little horseback riding stage, I will always love racing. Barbaro won, which was completely good because he was trained by the guy who saved a bunch of little kids from a burning plane. Awww... We were rooting for him. Well, we would have been happy about the Lewis horse winning, too, but that obviously didn't happen.

Then we watched Seabiscuit because ABC was totally capitalizing on the Derby and was showing it at night. Oh. *tear* That is simply the best movie ever made. I'm kind of sad it wasn't released in a year with like nothing else because it could have taken best picture. I always end up crying during the last race when Tobey McGuire is going doing the broken speech, so good. So good. We loves Seabiscuit.


I am now the proud owner of Season 2 of CSI. You know, before the creature crawled onto Nick's face and died. For only $11.50. How great a bargain shopper am I???

Going to go make artwork flashcards. Fun.

Kathleen is still depressed about school, so this is from her Inner Pop-Culture Whore

This is what happens when Prince Charming just doesn't show up...

The Way We Were

No, not the creepy movie with the uncomfortable awkward scene where you're like, "Really?? He was asleep??? Bummer...", but rather the song. Or, more correctly, memories.

I've been very retrospective today for a couple of different reasons- it's the tenth anniversary of my first Communion, and it's my last day of high school. The first Communion one isn't too life-shattering, I mean, it is because it's a sacrament, but it doesn't really change anything. It just makes me feel old.

But I'm really upset about the high school thing. I just love it here so much that I can't imagine having to walk out of here on Wednesday after my last exam and not ever come back. And it's so weird because I never thought four years ago that I would end up not wanting high school to end (well, if I had stayed at that place I would be clawing at the walls...). Fifteen to eighteen is a big change, and this place is responsible for a lot of that change. Do you know what a different person I would be if I hadn't come here??? I think about that every afternoon when I pick up my sister and see people that I used to know walking out to their cars. That could be me. I could still be there. I would be miserable and way less intelligent and all that stuff, but I would also be a completely different person. Even Stalker Boy is a fond memory now. Everything I've learned, and experienced int he past few years has been because of the decision I made.A really, really, really hard decision. Do you know what it's like to walk into college at fifteen??? Freakin' scary. My mom had to drop me off. I couldn't drive yet. I was a year older than my little brother. That's so weird.

And it kind of made me question how anyone could doubt that God has a hand in our lives, because there is absolutely no rational explanation for why my life turned out the way it did. Looking back it makes perfect sense, but it certainly didn't at the time. I was eight when I suggested to my mom that we homeschool. EIGHT. And not an intelligent eight, let me tell you. I had just learned to read, really. For some reason she listened to me, and that completely changed our family. I know now why I decided so quickly about going to high school, because I never could have been content with any decision until I saw the soul-sucking bueocracy that is the American school system first hand. And why my mom's friend called that morning and said her daughter was going to Concordia (which she didn't end up doing) is beyond me. But everything kind of fell together. It's almost enough to make me think maybe I won't die alone and barren, to be found by dogs with Bridget Jones's Diary looping on the DVD player in the background.

Anyhoodles, I'm late, so everybody have a good day!!! :)

May

Oh, May. I dislike this month, as it generally signifies the onset of hot weather and humidity and unflattering-unless-you're-five-eight-and-a-hundred-and-ten-pounds-like-my-sister styles. You can see why I don't like it. And it always sneaks up on you, doesn't it? You have yourself all convinced that you live in a "cold" city and things are going to be just fine and then-boom- it's eighty degrees and I'm sporting a fluffy red pyramid on my head. Oh, this is not good. Not good at all. It's supposed to be 72 degrees today. I think I shall be sad. *sniff*

So faithful readers- are we all geared up for a constant three hour entertainment overload this evening? I am, and have the update to prove it. Yes, I am awesome. I deserve to be paid for this. It would certainly be better than desperately searching for a job when you look like CRAP on paper. Sheesh. I would be a really good secretary. Does anybody need a secretary???

OMG, I am officially seeing M:I:3 in spite of Tom Cruise. Dude's a bastard. He's not even hot anymore. In this article, he waxes nostaligic about Suri's birth, and how he just loves looking at her face. How do you do that, Tom??? You're in Europe, and she's in LA. Maybe Katie the Doormat e-mails you pictures??? Although you're probably too busy to get them. Even though you love her so much, right???

I shudder to think what I would be capable of if my husband announced that he was going to Rome to promote a stupid movie that will kill everything else except maybe the Da Vinci Code because people are such morons that they can't separate fact from fiction because it's already so damn popular the week after I gave birth. All they would find would be teeny tiny pieces of Tom in the Seine. Maybe. If the guy I hired did a sloppy job.

Got to watch Good Night and Good Luck in government today. No, I am not above getting credit for watching George Clooney. This is a very good era for George to play. OMG, I want him!!!!!!!!!!!! He's really quite interesting in this movie. *ahem*

Finally, Ryan apparently realized that Teri is a girl and called off the relationship. If she wasn't dumb enough to go out with Ryan Seacrest, I'd feel kind of sorry for her. I also feel sorry for her because she's apparently the only person who can have the third most watched show in the nation and still be a has-been. Really. Does anybody mention her anymore???

Time to start choosing sides with people you've never met!!! And stay away from Chandler, Charlie. You will turn him into a manwhore.

Greek Tragedy

I told you my Inner Pop-Culture Whore liked bad puns.. She would be laughing so hard right now if she could pry her jaw off the floor.

McCarthyism

Dammit, why do I miss all the interesting stuff in history??? The moon landing, Watergate, rabid senators hunting down commies- I'm too young for all of it. I get stuck with depressing terrorism. And while the lovely descriptive newspapers were responsible for my Birds and Bees education (and my sister's, come to think of it, when I destroyed her childlike innocence described the scandal to her), Monicagate didn't exactly shape my youth. What am I going to tell my children about? "Fall of the Berlin Wall? Nah, I was two. But there was this anthrax scare...Most of it was teenagers and baby powder though..." They're not going to be very enthused. I don't blame them.

I began thinking about my woefully inadequate current events youth (through no fault of my parents, because God knows they dragged exposed us to massive amounsts of historical stuff) as we did our little preliminary stuff because we get to watch Good Night and Good Luck in government this week. Frankly, I don't think that we need a primer to appreciate George Clooney, but whatever.

The fifties would be so much more fun. Except then I wouldn't have CSI. Or VH1. Or People magazine. In fact, my Inner Pop-Culture Whore is now informing me that she doesn't particularly care what world events we get to see, as long as she is being constantly bombarded by juicy tidbits from other people's lives. She is content with having no life experiences of her own while there are other, prettier people having life experiences elsewhere that she can read about. My Inner Pop-Culture Whore is not very bright.

(Icons won't work. I am crazy with rage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Teeny, tiny bit of celebrity gossip to shut my Inner Pop-Culture Whore up long enough to finish class...bitch will not be quiet. She will not rest until she knows whether Britney is "Baby One More Time" or just retaining water. Inner Pop-Culture Whore also likes bad puns.

Oh good Lord. The judicial system just dropped ten points in my esteem. Please tell me they have better things to do than this???

Eleven Days

And boy, are we counting. First, I reposted the boat stories on the post below in case Ojava wants to catch up on some more of our familial odysseys.

Rainy, cold, and windy. Oh, my kind of day. Especially when I have nothing to do. Imladris had to go be a good person this morning so we went to Mass last night, and I was able to sleep. Wonderful. And I've done exactly nothing else.

Except obviously search for CSI icons. Which is hardly an intellectual activity and therefore does not count. This does, however, make me feel good about myself because while I spend way too much time thinking about these shows and proudly ship Mac/Stella and Catherine/Grissom, I did not have enough time on my hands to come up with the cute little nicknames "Smacked" and "Grillows". See? I have a life. Major spoiler rumors going around the boards about the CSI:NY finale...I'd be glad to enlighten you further, but I don't want to ruin it for you. (Hint: Aiden's back...for now...) All three of them look great this week. Actually I can't remember much about Miami. Cruise ship murders, Catherine confronting her father (again), and a three-way marriage...oh the juicy forensic fun I shall have!!!

Teehee. Locke's a crazy. On the treamill this morning I was watching E! News, because there's absolutely nothing on at ten on Sunday, and there was just too much celebrity gossip to handle. Tom is still in Europe, now he's in Amsterdam talking about how much he loves his baby and Katie. Yeah...hon, why aren't you home with them??? I'm just mad at him now. And he interrupted Phillip Seymour Hoffman's interview to talk about baby Suri. You do not interrupt Capote!!! I'll be he stuck around for longer than a week after his kid was born! And that creepy Ken Baker guy who always lurks around E! apparently divined that Britney is in fact preggers, and she's due in October. Wow. That's a lot of information to get from her official statment of "No comment". Sheesh.

I'm going to go find food. Forrest Gump on TBS tonight! Yay-Lt. Dan!!!!!!!!

Another One of My More Inspired Pieces

The Fabled Family Day Trip, Part 1 and Part 2. Just to get you through those boring phone calls... :)

Your Daily Update

I know how y'all look forward to it. Like coffee, or chocolate, or booze. Whatever gets you through the day, right???

Just finished my debate in government. It went better than I thought it would- we somehow managed to sidestep the entire issue of gay marriage completely and avoid the shower of self-righteous fundamentalist questions being fired from the group. We had one answer. "The constitutional arena is not the appropriate place for this type of issue." Amazing how many different ways you can say that. Got an amusing story about how Canada legalized orgies, too. Yeah, I really needed to hear that from a professor.

And then I hauled myself up the back maintanance stairway to the computor lab (all the fishies are inexplicably gone and there is now a sign on the door saying, "So long and thanks for all the fish"...I'm sure Anubis would appreciate that...) and printed off seven art movement outlines that the art history prof had not posted yet. SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!! Tha's like a hundred and fifty pages of slides- all at one time. I think Concordia is ready to expell me, and the little lab moderator person was glaring at me. And really, could she have posted these a month ago when we started doing the damn things? Honestly, I'm kind of worried abut whether she feeds her children or not. I wouldn't be surprised if she gives them a massive meal once every couple of weeks.

Completely changing gears here, Rosie's joining The View. Oh good Lord. Either this experience will magically turn her straight (because who wants to deal with those women all day???) or, my opinion, there will be a bloodbath episode by the second week when Rosie finally stops shouting and literally bites somebody's head off. Because, as the ill-fated Boy George musical debacle attested, the Queen of Nice is gone. Now it's just one angry lesbo. Who could probably snap Elisabeth Hasselbeck's neck. This is gonna be good.

I can't link this because I can't find the actual article, but apparently the National Anthem is being adapted into Spanish.
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(I'm just waiting till y'll get this.)
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Yeah, our National Anthem. I don't use this often, but WTF??? Okay, just a thought here. Maybe this is why immigration is such a freakin' big issue. And maybe this is why other countries don't really have a problem with immigration-if coming here meant actually changing countries and learning a new language and adapting to a different culture, wouldn't there be a significant drop of border-jumpers? I mean, I'm fairly certain that if I decided to sneak into France and live there incognito, they would not change the signs for me. In fact, they would probably laugh at my admittedly laughable pronunciation issues. And then deport me. Either way, it would not be pretty. I'm not saying we should deport everybody who's here already, or that we should make INS regulations so difficult that nobody from a lower economic background can come here, but when you start changing one of the symbols of the nation's identity, things have gone too far.

That's my political rant for the day. I will now lug my soapbox upstairs to the library and use our nifty automatic three-hole-punch machine that I can just not get enough of to punch the seven movement outlines I now have. Thank you and have a nice day. :)

Random Items of Celebrity Gossip That Are Too Good To Pass Up

First, updated my other blog. Oh the shipping fun I had.

I have no original ideas today (probably all sapped from last night) so get ready for some hilarious, self-absorbed linkspam.

J. Lo. thinks she's misunderstood. Awww. Poor J. Lo. That's not fair. Because I know a lot of girls on my block thtat look like this. Really! She's just like us.

Jessica is upset about Nick's tell-all article. Oh cry me a river. Maybe this is why Team Nick shirts are outselling Team Jessica shirts twenty to one. This, by the way, is a larger margin than the Team Aniston vs. Team Pitt fourteen to one. Ha! People hate you more than they like Jennifer Aniston. That's gotta be a dark day.

Wow, Kellie's even sweet when America is stomping all over her. Great. Now that pretty b*tch Katherine is going to win. And we're going to have to watch Simon mentally undress her again.

Ugh. Where are my brownies?

The Real Rose is suing the Fake Charlie. Who happens to act like that in real life, apparently. Anyway, I'm confused. And sad because I forgot to tape this Monday night. I need TiVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Battle of the Heroin Chic bitches.

Katie Holmes is not a zombie. Ironically, I'm more concerned about Catherine Keener's fashion sense. Girl's got a lot to work with, but low rider plaids?

And finally, CSI should get on this one.

Oh Snap

My Inner Pop-Culture Whore is dying.

I am always cheerful and I do not dwell on my mistakes

First, updated my other blog. Snaps for me!

And I'd just like to put up the original frozen meat post in case Ojava wants the history of it. Sad to say, it's been a year and we still freeze everything. You never know when those Russians might take over.

Teehee. Alan. I think we'd get along well. Why does no one else???

I've been sucking down the Advil Cold and Sinus lately. They say it doesn't make you drowsy. They lie. My mouth feels like cotton and I could possibly fall asleep at the keyboard. Sheesh. I've never had allergies before- why now??? I think my body is trying to punish my for making it get up early by slowly destroying me from the inside out.

Went icon searching again. Wow. Last week on her blog Imladris was saying how desperately important The Notebook was to teenage girls. Why? It was kind of boring and depressing and completely unrealistic because I don't care how much in love you are, Alzheimers does not go away. I have a theory that it was the first actual adult movie that those girls saw- you know, not Disney or Harry Potter (which, coincidentally, seems to RUN THEIR LIVES), and they just think it's so cool. To which I say, please go out and watch another movie. Because if I have to look at another "They fell in love didn't they?" icon, I will go emo and cut myself. Sheesh.

Going to go do something completely unproductive...

I am the queen of wasting time looking at crap on the internet

Do you know how much time I just spent on one icon site??? Thirty-four minutes. I did that this morning too. I had to take a quiz by tonight for govenrment, but instead I spent half an hour on message boards (somebody gets hurt in the CSI:NY season finale---on snap!!!) and looking at other sites that I kind of forgot about the quiz. And by that time, I was tired and cranky and I just wanted to go read. And I still had to do my quiz. Bugger.

Really. Everybody's grammar is really depressingly bad. They can't seem to get it through their heads that "your" and "you're" are two completely different words. I found this really funny icon that wouldn't save to my computor about all the bad grammar. "Your stupid". "My stupid what?" HAHAHAHAHA. Wow. I'm an English geek.

Teehee. Crazies. People who are so wrapped up in their own little private heartaches bug me. Read a newspaper. Sheesh.

So watched bunches of movies this weekend. On Friday I went to see American Dreamz, which was pretty good in an offbeat kind of way. Which I understood a little bit more when I realized it was directed by the guy who did About a Boy and In Good Company. The American Idol spoofing was quite funny, though. And that cousin was hilarious. "I'm going on..."

Yesterday I went to see The Sentinel. The reviews say it sucked. The reviews LIE. Maybe I'm just freakishly easy to please or something, but I really enjoyed it. Except it was like too many TV shows rolled into one- it was 24 with The West Wing, and a little Desperate Housewives because I don't care what people say, you cannot look at Eva Longoria without seeing her as Gabrielle. At one point they suggested bringing in the criminal investigation unit and I was like, "No! I can't handle another television show!!!" Everyone should go see it. If only for the KGB agents with British accents.

And then today Imladris and I saw Friends with Money. I'm totally into indies, now. Really good. Lucious Malfoy thought Voldemort was scary? Try telling Catherine Keener (or any woman, for that matter) that her ass is getting too big. Watch the horror. I'm a huge Catherine Keener fan now, btw. I love anyone and anything connected to Capote.

I'm going to go watch Les Miserables (DVD sale at Borders!!! YAY!!!!) and put stickers on envelopes. Oh the fun I shall have. Updated my other blog, too, so read and comment!!! :)

I'm so freakin' weird

Alan was eight when Henri Matisse died. The guy who was around when impressionism was big. I wanted to cry in art history this morning.

Meanwhile, updated my blog with stuff about Alias, American Idol, and CSI:NY. Thumbnail view? Stella is no longer good enough for Mac.

*blah*

School should die. It is not fair that I am here and everybody else in the world is not. Bugger. Anyhoodles, so much to talk about today!!!

First, I finally read To Kill a Mockingbird. I cannot believe I've gotten this far in life without reading it. It was unbelievably good. Not only does it completely change your life and the way you look at and respond to people, but it completely draws you in and is so enjoyable. I was actually a little bit peeved that my mom's chemo was finished and I had to drive home instead of read more. (Not really, rockford...)

And so moving! I know that books make me cry more than most people. I cried at the end of Gone with the Wind, I cried towards the end of Les Miserables, when Jean takes out the little dress that Cosette was wearing the first night he took her in, and Of Mice and Men screwed me up for a week. (Really. Has anybody else read that? I think John Steinbeck had some depression issues. I watched the movie a couple of months after I read it, and thought I'd be okay with it. Not so. Somehow Mac from CSI:NY executing his best friend is still pretty damn depressing.) But when Atticus thanks Boo for his children- oh!

And then I watched the movie yesterday, which was completely awesome and now I need to go buy. Did you know that the character Dill was based on Truman Capote, Harper Lee's childhood friend??? How sweet!!!

Yeah, what else is happening??? Not a whole lot. Ooh, watched some British House of Commons while I was doing my three miles this morning. Because at six o'clock in the morning, there's not a whole lot of stuff to watch other than live from London and VH1 constantly replaying My Humps. And when it comes to a decision between funny Brits screaming at a bewildered Tony Blair or Fergie's "lovely lady lumps", guess what's gonna win? That is some crazy stuff right there. Both the song and the legislature, actually...

And in celebrity news, well, we have an embarrasment of riches. First and formost, TomKat has given birth (silently and without medication presumably) to a TomKitten, and you can read my take on that here and here. Or just scroll down. Whatever. And Brooke Shields gave birth to another presumably preternaturally pretty baby, who maybe with the held of antidepressents she won't want to kill (better hope Katie doesn't have those feelings!!!). As if the juicy reproductions weren't enough, we have divorces aplenty. Eddie Murphy's divorce is finalized and Brian Grazer is apparently dumping his wife. Yeah, you're probably saying, "What? Who is Brian Grazer?" Well, he's Ron Howard's producing buddy and his wife did a really funny thing for people a couple of years ago. I feel badly for her. BOOOO Brian Grazer. No one else will love your spiky hair. Finally, Nick Lachey was apparently Jessica's bitch and was told when his marriage was over. Oh sadness. I'm totally on Team Nick. Did you know that Team Nick t-shirts are outselling Team Jessica t-shirts twenty to one? That's a bigger margin that last years's Team Pitt vs. Team Aniston. Wow, I really need to talk to real people more often.

Have to go to class, but awesome TV tonight. Well, except no Lost. Booo!!! But Alias finally comes back, and CSI:NY is new! YAY!!!

Just realized this

Picture this- thirty years from now, Suri vs. Grier. I'm thinking a Celebrity Boxing revival with an eighty-year-old Matt Lauer as ref. The ratings would be insane.

Oh the Rapture

My inner pop-culture whore is bursting with joy. Meanwhile, Suri? What the hell?

The one bad thing about college

Is that you have to be back at school right after Easter. Unless you decide to be irresponsible and skip your not-too-interesting law class and stay home an extra day instead. *ahem* Guess what I'm doing tomorrow??? :)

(Aw, screw it. I just tried for five minutes to post a picture and it's not working. No icons today.)

So how was everybody's Easter? Mine was suprisingly good. On Saturday Imladris and I went to the Easter Vigil, which was beautiful and fun because we played outside with Mary (I sound like I'm eight) afterwards. And said "twas pink" for old times sake. And we were having massive amounts of fun on the playground (they've gotten surprisingly better since my childhood- which was about ten minutes ago...spinny things that you stand on- freakishly fun!) until Imladris announced that there was probably a rapist in the cattails and CSI would find our bruised corpes underneath the equipment and Mom would have to show them pictures of us for some reason that I didn't get. It kind of killed the mood and we went back inside to eat more cake. (Colleen: To see what the word "catskills" means, click here.)Evil Imladris then locked Mary in the garbage thing. Yeah, that wasn't very nice. ;)

Yesterday was good too. We went to Mass and Daddy's parent's house. Good food. Way too much sausage, though. What is it with the eastern Europeans and meats??? The rest of the day was quiet, but good. Imladris and I watched Elizabeth, an awesome movie with Galadrial and Brother of Fiennes (who is nowhere near as hot as Ralph) and Barbossa and James Bond and Santa!!!! (Or, Cate Blanchett, Joseph Fiennes, Geoffrey Rush, Daniel Craig and Richard Attenborough if you want to be technical...) Freakishly good movie. Apparently, there is going to be a sequel. Oh the joy.

Well, I'm going to go eat the lots and lots of food I have left over, k??? Ciao, faithful readers...

Tantum Ergo

I am such an old school Catholic. Give me a really long Mass at night with candles and songs in Latin and I'm there. I think the only other faith I could be happy in is Greek Orthodox, because they have even more stuff than we do. As Imladris says, it's the only church that can make you walk into a Catholic church and go, "Oh. Minimalist." I think this is why I love the triduum so much, because it's so Catholic. The rest of the year we spend trying to make everybody feel good about themselves and be all ecumenical and everything but for these four days it's like, "No. This is what we are. We are going to use incense and chant in Latin, dammit. Deal with it." My Latin teacher would be proud. I'm now spontaneously declining nouns in songs. "Pacem". Third declension feminine accusative singular. I really need to stop doing that...

Freakin' hungry right now. And really bored. I hate being bored on Saturdays. It makes me feel all depressed for some reason. I'm so weird. Imladris told me yesterday that I'm quirky enough to make a guy interested. I took it as a compliment.

HAHAHA. That would be awesome. Especially if Snape was involved some how.

I'm thinking of putting this on my license plate. Okay, back to my slightly annoying habit of promoting the CSI:NY to anyone who will listen, you all must watch this week. It's another one where Danny gets involved with the Tanglewood boys, and something upsets Stella. The preview looks awesome. I didn't get to see it on Wednesday because the stupid lottery was being finished or something, and it took up the whole freakin screen. Bugger. Who is hugging Danny? Is that Mac? I'm very confused...

Happy Easter everybody. I'm planning on getting drunk and staying that way.

Ewan McGregor adopted a little girl from Mongolia

How does he feel about an eighteen-year-old from the United Stateswho wouldn't mind just calling her real parents on weekends??? I'm kidding, rockford...

As a Nancy Drew afficianado...

...I found this absolutely hilarious. Note: I did NOT write this. I am nowhere near this funny.

I have a whole new respect for Imladris

Because, really, I could not do this school at seven thirty thing every day. I would die. Now I know why she wakes up early to watch my get dressed on the days she's off of school and I'm not. I'd gloat too. Sheesh. I'm exhausted!!!! One more day, and then I can sleep...Easter never looked so good...

So I ended up on the London Times e-mail list because it was the only way I could get a story for school, and I kind of skim it, because I find it way more interesting than the constant "OH MY GOD, Bush just dropped another point in the polls- should we impeach him just for being unpopular?" that we have here, and this morning I opened it and found this article, complete with a cartoon. Oh, Tony. Don't you have enough to worry about what with your wife cavorting with porn stars and ex-cons, and your son crashing into just about every lamppost in London? 1.2 million pounds??? According to my trusty currency website, that's like A LOT of money. Sheesh. No wonder he's our bitch.

There was also an article about Prince Harry graduating from his little military place. It is entirely possible that Prince Harry will be sent to Iraq or Afgahnistan. Yeah. That's totally gonna happen.

We listened to the sappy Don McClean version of Vincent (Starry, Starry Night) in art. Josh did a way better job. The guy who brought it in said he felt like throwing his entire iPod away because it sucked so bad. Josh has quite a little following in that class---one of the girls was trying to convince this guy that he'd even swoon over him because he's so pefect. He is. *sigh* I'll bet she's never driven to the middle of Illinois to peel off fifties in a McDonald's parking lot for tickets that may or may not actually exist. Yeah, I have some problems...

Speaking of Josh, somebody seriously has to tell Boy to get his a** is gear. It's been two and a half years since his last CD, and I'm worried that people will forget/stop caring about him. Because not everybody has pledged to mother his children like I have!!!! Okay, returning to earth...

Capital punishment debate in government today. The girl I was working with on another project has to argue agianst it, and she's a little bit scared of what the class will do to her. They kind of all come from the fundamentalist fry 'em attitude. I don't agree, but I also don't speak in class, so Jenny's on her own with this one...

Only twenty-four hours and I'll officially be on Easter break. It will be less than that, though, because we're takig a taking a law test, and it shouldn't take me long ot fail with that. I have such confindence.

In celebrity news, well, not a whole lot going on. Maggie Gyllenhaal is having a baby and engaged to the Worst Air Marshal Ever from Flightplan. I don't really care, because she pissed me off when she said we were partly responsible for 9/11.

Oooh, updated my other blog. Read and comment, please!!! Also look for freakish amounts of updates later this week, because I have a full evening of new shows tonight (CSI:NY- Supermen. Somebody please tell me Flack has something to do with this!!!) and CSI and Without a Trace are new on Thursday. Yayness!!!

Spring is Sprung

Doesn't it always seem like Holy Week is unseasonably warm? I don't know if that's really true, it just seems to be that way in my experience. Ya like the new template??? Ooooh, pretty colors...I'm sure I'll get bored in a month, but for now I'm lovin' this one. BTW, this was the template I had when I first started this blog. Oh the history...

Oh, Orlando. How we love your vapid cuteness.

Busy morning. Let me tell you, you do not miss the extra fifteen minutes of sleep that you get until it's gone. I got up early to drive Imladris to school, and then went to business law. Yeah, nothing like negotiable instruments to wake you up at eight o'clock. Then I had to go write our opinion paper with my Justice partner. Yeah. If they were going for authenticity, they should not have had every justice write an individual opinion. Then I ran errands. And now I want to go to sleep and not wake up for a very, very long time.

HAHAHAHA...that's so me. :) No, I kid, I've never actually stalked anyone. Speaking of me, though (it's my blog, so I guess we were...), I got a letter yesterday from a company I had applied for a scholarship from saying that my essay was going to be published in their upcoming book of student authors. Of course, I'd rather have the money, which they'll decide if I get by the end of June, but this is pretty cool too. About 5000 essays come in, and they only accept the top 3%...which is 150 essays...and of those they pick around ten to give money too. And I really want the money. But I am quite pleased with myself...

So I was bumming around the internet waiting for my hair to dry, and I came across this article. And it got me thinking. What was the novel that impacted my life the most? Further signifying what little life I had, I actually thought about this, and decided that I shouldn't count Nancy Drew (which pretty much accounts for my entire formative period) or Betsy-Tacy, even though those are some of the best books I've ever read, and focus on adult novels. I have to say that it's a dead heat between Wuthering Heights and Gone With the Wind. I read Wuthering Heights when I was twelve and sitting on a hospital floor and really, really needed something interesting to disappear into. And I've gotta tell you, the English moors and a hot brooding guy beats St. Luke's any day. That was the book that really got me reading the classics. And then Gone With the Wind was just such an amazing story. I read it for the first time when I was thirteen, and loved it so much that when I finished it I cried. A lot. And then I sat down and read the whole thing again. (I read it again last year, and was amazed at how much I missed...I was pretty damn innocent then...)

So what was the book that influenced your life the most? (Imladris and racergirl, I want comments!!!!!!! Anonymous is just going to put a travel guide to Walt Disney World...;))

Too Damn Warm

It's supposed to be 62 degrees today. Watch my hair grow three times it's size. BOOOO!!!!

(Icons aren't working. Blogger.com should die.)

As per your requests, I put up a Master post on my TV blog...enjoy the sarcastic meanness. :)

So how was everybody's weekend??? Good? Good. Mine was quite fun. Went to Boston Store and got pretty clothes (yay!!!) and then Panera and ate too much to fit into said pretty clothes (yay!!!) and then went for coffee on Sunday. Yay!!!! Good times. Good times.

Watched bunches of movies this weekend, and came to the conclusion that war is generally hell. On Saturday I stole Imladris's DVD and watched Casablanca. Upper, no? I've never actually seen Casablanca in it's entirety and was expecting to be quite sad. I wasn't. She should have gone with Victor Laszlo. He was her husband. And, excuse me, he was in a concentration camp while you were galavanting all over Paris with Humphrey Bogart. *cough*Whore*cough* Did love the ending though, with Boggie and the funny short Nazi. teehee.

Then I watched Saving Private Ryan. Wow. They were not kidding about the first twenty minutes. At the beginning I was just like, "Eh. I've seen worse. ABC had to put a warning before this?" And the the battle started, I guess. Damn. I saw some guy's intestine. While he was still alive. *shivers* Speilberg has some issues.

So I'm totally late for class. Bugger.

Updated my TV blog

Here's the link. Enjoy!!!

Oh, Joey

How could you do this??? Now I don't really care if you get cancelled.

Crazy Art People

So we watched a bunch of PBS art videos today from like 1985 because, well, the nearest I can figure is that the prof didn't want to do the powerpoint. Which was fine, because I didn't really want to sit through one. :p The first one was absolutely ridiculous. There was this woman sitting in a purple room with a guitar. Really. A guitar. And she started playing it. We spent like twenty minutes on Toulousse-Lautrec, which I think could have easily been avoided by watching Moulin Rouge. Because we all know that Ewan McGregor is way more fun to watch than Crazy PBS people. He just is.


Oh, emo children. Okay, I'm kind of removed form the whole high school thing, the closest I get is picking up my sister. I didn't really know that there apparently an emo revolution of sorts. Because it takes me an hour to get through the "You're (usually spelled "your") the only one I can ever love, why can't you see my heart is breaking" set to soft Kelly Clarkson lyrics stuff to find funny icons. Really people. There are a lot of very upsetting things going on in the world right now. We're at war. Some of us still stop breathing everytime we hear a breaking news flash. Apparently this bird flue thing is pretty bad. Sports are taking over the world. Why are you wasting so much time being so crabby??? Ugh. Children disgust me.

Speaking of disgusting, I was watching VH1's worst fashion moments or something yesterday and I was so shocked at this that I almost fell off the treadmill. A battle of epic (literally) proportions. Good Charlotte vs. Very, Very bad Charlotte. Yes, that is the lovely little soprano who was invited to the Vatican a couple of years ago dressed up like a dominatrix. (She should lay off the carbs for awhile before the next concert, no???) Somewhere, Clinton is searching desperately for her phone number.... Aren't we glad Joshiekins only did one song with her??? As if January wasn't bad enough...

Well, children, I think that's all for me today...nothing interesting going on in the celebrity world. Katie Couric is leaving for CBS, but anybody with a computor and brain knows that already, because apparently that's a big thing. And Tom Cruise announced that his dad was abusive. That actually explains why he's trying to kill this poor young woman.

Happy Half Birthday, Imladris!!! So Ugly It's Cute wishes you all the best, I'm sure... ;)

If he wasn't dead already...

...I'd be thinking of fun ways for him to. Because it's been two days and I'm still tired from losing an hour. And now I can't eat until eight because I have a weird thing where it has to be dark before I can eat. That is one alleged manwhore who should have kept his mouth shut. Bastard.

Wonderful Weather

Well, probably only for me. It's cold and rainy and windy. So windy that I almost blew off the driveway when I walked outside. Although I think that's because we live in this weird, Matrix-like air current that gives us only the extremes in weather. It's the only way to explain why we don't have a porch railing anymore.

So did everybody like my icon goodness on Friday? I hope so. How was everybody's weekend??? Mine was good. I did absolutely nothing. It was quite nice. Oooh, and CBS was having their frequent Clean Out the Crime Show Dramas time last night and they played the CSI:NY season finale from last season. Oh. We love that one. Here is what I thought about it when it was first on. We watched King Kong on Saturday. Wow. That's so wrong there's a word for it. I made the mistake of saying that around my brother, and he was immediately like, "Wait. What word???" I'm such a bad influence.

Completely changing subjects, I opened my e-mail yesterday, and there were fifteen e-mails from FastWeb all bearing the same message. "Oh my God, if you don't fill out this scholarship in the next five minutes you will die poor and alone!!!!" Well, okay, it might not have been that dramatic, but still. And it's not like I'm ever going to win anything. You wanna know why?

Because I'm normal. I'm happy, I'm heathy, I live in a nice house. I don't have any illegitimate but charming children. My grandfather got through WWII without an injury (not that I wish one on him, but if he had shot himself in the foot on a submarine I'd be eligable for another ten grand. I'm just saying.) My parents are nice, normal, fairly healthy, well-educated people who have held/are holding good jobs, are still married and love each other, and have never gotten drunk and beat me up. This sucks. One of the essays wanted me to write about an incident in my life the illuminated a greater social injustice. Yeah. Um...I really want an iPod. And a car. Are those social injustices??? I think not.

Any other Monday I'd say that I'll have something up about CSI:Miami, but those basketball crazies are taking over my CSI. Oh the sadness.